Smoji Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Wife and I have been married 27 yrs, two grown kids. We've always have had a great relationship. But, as many know who have been married that long there are ups and downs. Approximately three months ago we had a talk about me show more affection and intimacy. There had been a two month period where not much was going on in the bedroom and seemed we were drifting. Since then I've really changed and am showing affection and by doing that I've found I want to be much more intimate with her than ever before. The problem? I discovered she has been texting with a coworker. Not everyday, but she has texted him about that issue I mentioned and she told him we would try hard for the next month to change. Since we've been together so long she wanted to give me a chance.She also text him a couple of weeks ago about a small issue we were having.Also, he is married and she ask if he was intimate with his wife. Don't think he answered her and there was no context as to why she asked that. They also text song lyrics, they make up new lyrics. One time he texted something about hot, hot, hot and she responded ,; you are hot and so are your lyrics. She'll send pictures to him if we are on our boat or pics of a recent bath remodel. I honestly don't believe anything sexual is going on but the fact she texts him about our marriage is very inappropriate. I don't know what to do. She doesn't know, I don't think that I know her phone password. She is admittedly going through a mid life crisis and I don't know if this a part of it. I want to say something about the inappropriateness of texting but how do I tell her how I know? She would then change her password I'm sure. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 texting a male co-worker may be OK. Sexting a married male co-worker is certainly not. You need to have a long talk with you wife. Start by telling her what you read & how awful it made you feel to know she was discussing intimate details of your marriage with another man. Then ask her how that came about & what she wants to do to heal your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnnie knows Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Your situation is almost identical to what I went through about two years ago. My wife was texting a male coworker constantly. In fact, she was texting him on a daily basis more than she texted our two teenage daughters. The best advice I can give you is to somehow put an end to it NOW, before it becomes too late. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this sounds like the beginning of an emotional affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this sounds like the beginning of an emotional affair. More like the middle than the beginning. In discussing the details of your sex life with him, your wife is behaving inappropriately. In responding to his "hot" lyrics, she's crossing a boundary. Smoji, I'm curious as to why your response is so passive? You seem more afraid of upsetting her than you seem concerned about protecting your marriage. As she engages with him, she detaches from you. You're a couple of emails away from her telling you "I love you but...I'm not in love with you"... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Smoji Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Thank you for your responses. The crazy part is she is not detached from me at all. There hasn't been any communication via text, that I can tell for well over a week, maybe she's figured out that I am seeing her texts and erasing. I don't know. I thought I'd wait a few more days to see if any further texting If she's still texting after this weekend, the ***** will hit the fan. At that point I will not care if she changes her password or not. Link to post Share on other sites
TobyBoy Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Thank you for your responses. The crazy part is she is not detached from me at all. There hasn't been any communication via text, that I can tell for well over a week, maybe she's figured out that I am seeing her texts and erasing. I don't know. I thought I'd wait a few more days to see if any further texting If she's still texting after this weekend, the ***** will hit the fan. At that point I will not care if she changes her password or not. Check your phone bill online!! There you can determine if she's deleting texts. Link to post Share on other sites
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