Sammy1974 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Hello. What is everyone's opinion on a man who watches porn on a regular basis? By a regular basis I mean almost daily. Not hours at a time, but according to my husband, it can range from 20 minutes to one hour. Our sex life is not diminished at all. In fact, we have incorporated porn into that, and since that time (about 2 months ago), things have improved in that regard in terms of frequency. We went from 2 times a week, to on some days, twice a day. But, I have mixed feelings about it. I can't compete with so many women on the internet. And husband swears up and down, constantly, that he does not compare me to any of them. Does my husband feel like he is missing out on something? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Doesn't sound like it. Don't be insecure about this - you should actually be very glad that it has actually helped your lives become more active... Many women post on here lamenting that their sex lives have diminished to zero, while their husbands masturbate to porn daily.... You're doing the right things. As long as you are both comfortable, happy and willing to do whatever it is you're doing; as long as it doesn't feel like an effort, forced, or an obligation... Then you're cool.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Is It OK for your husband to watch porn? Not sure why it matters what we think. If 10 people here say "yes", does that change or lessen your concerns about it? Were his viewing habits similar before you married? You need to come to a compromise with him that addresses both of your feelings and needs... Mr. Lucky 6 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 I personally don't have a problem with it. Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 But, I have mixed feelings about it. And that is the real problem. It makes you somewhat uncomfortable. And there is nothing wrong with feeling that way. I would talk to your husband about it. I would let him know you are very happy with the positive aspects it has added to your relationship. But make sure he understands the parts the concern you and maybe you need to give him ideas as to what would help you be more comfortable. Maybe he needs to send you off to get some sexy boudoir photos done that he may want to get excited to sometimes instead of porn. Maybe allocate one day a week that he cannot watch porn so it`s up to you to get him turned on. Some porn I don`t think is a problem. But this sounds closer to addiction level than I`ve normally seen. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 It's only a problem if you make it one, according to the j formation you've provided. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 As long as it doesn't interfere with his sexual performance (erectile dysfunction) it really wouldn't be a problem for me. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 This is completely normal. Guys don't compare women in real life to porn stars. They also have high sex drives. If my gf would have sex with me whenever I want I probably wouldn't watch porn. But I know that's unrealistic. Just as it's unrealistic for her to think I wont masturbate. And if you expect him to masturbate without porn as a visual stimulant he'll probably being thinking about doing it with people he knows in real life rather than some random stranger on a screen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TrustedthenBusted Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 The short answer is yes. A different spin on your post below. Same responses? Hello. What is everyone's opinion on a woman who uses a vibrator regular basis? By a regular basis I mean almost daily. Not hours at a time, but according to my wife, it can range from 5 to 10 minutes . Our sex life is not diminished at all. In fact, we have incorporated her vibrator into that, and since that time (about 2 months ago), things have improved in that regard in terms of frequency. We went from 2 times a week, to on some days, twice a day. But, I have mixed feelings about it. I can't compete with her toys that are always ready and willing . And wife swears up and down, constantly, that she does not compare me to any of them. Does my wife feel like she is missing out on something? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 The short answer is yes. A different spin on your post below. Same responses? Hello. What is everyone's opinion on a woman who uses a vibrator regular basis? By a regular basis I mean almost daily. Not hours at a time, but according to my wife, it can range from 5 to 10 minutes . Our sex life is not diminished at all. In fact, we have incorporated her vibrator into that, and since that time (about 2 months ago), things have improved in that regard in terms of frequency. We went from 2 times a week, to on some days, twice a day. But, I have mixed feelings about it. I can't compete with her toys that are always ready and willing . And wife swears up and down, constantly, that she does not compare me to any of them. Does my wife feel like she is missing out on something? Doesn't sound like it. Don't be insecure about this - you should actually be very glad that it has actually helped your lives become more active... Many men post on here lamenting that their sex lives have diminished to zero, while their wives masturbate with toys daily.... You're doing the right things. As long as you are both comfortable, happy and willing to do whatever it is you're doing; as long as it doesn't feel like an effort, forced, or an obligation... Then you're cool.... Yup. Same answer..... Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 it is good that you talk to him about it, that's very important. there 2 possible problems that come from watching porn. 1-addiction: as long as he is not addicted to it and can do without it that's fine. you should talk to him about the danger of the addiction and ask him if he can skip a day or two. if he really can't you should be concerned. 2- performance: lot of Men who watched porn ( even not often as your H) suffer from quick ejaculations, but according to what you said your sexual R has improved. I think it's fine but you should stay vigilant, by the way regarding your comments about not being able to compete with those porn stars, no one can they are pros ) Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 What kind of porn would be my only issue. If its rough, violent or the girls are too young looking... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 What kind of porn would be my only issue. If its rough, violent or the girls are too young looking... As a man i would be ok with it if my wife looked at porn. i might feel a bit awkward, but probably would be ok Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 It is hard to not see some sort of soft core porn in this day and age on the internet. In some way shape or form I think everyone is privy to it, intentional or not. Here is something I do...........I've sort of turned my own wife into a porn star. I role play. I videotape her when she gets out of the shower and changed into her clothes (she knows, relax). I do this because in the video it makes it look like someone is a peeping tom towards her and she is "oblivious" to it. That's just one example, but you get the point. Basically I have a collection of shots of my wife naked, or having sex with me and I am bombarded with that stuff that she has been my own personal porn queen in my eyes. I don't know what you ladies think about that, but I can assure you, watching her in amateur videos makes me want her more and sort of makes me forget about the rest of the porn in the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 To answer the title of the thread, no, it is not ok for my husband to watch porn. It is also not ok for me to watch porn. Hello. What is everyone's opinion on a man who watches porn on a regular basis? That it is possible he could be addicted to porn and masturbation. By a regular basis I mean almost daily. Not hours at a time, but according to my husband, it can range from 20 minutes to one hour. Our sex life is not diminished at all. In fact, we have incorporated porn into that, and since that time (about 2 months ago), things have improved in that regard in terms of frequency. We went from 2 times a week, to on some days, twice a day. But, I have mixed feelings about it. I can't compete with so many women on the internet. And husband swears up and down, constantly, that he does not compare me to any of them. Does my husband feel like he is missing out on something?If I understand correctly, there's a different kind of pleasure to a hand job then there is to sex with a woman? It's possible he uses pics/videos of other women to arouse him and for him to give himself a hand job? I am glad that your husband does not neglect you sexually. That's important. The reason it's not ok for my hubby and me to watch porn either separately or together is because it is against our beliefs. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 ... If I understand correctly, there's a different kind of pleasure to a hand job then there is to sex with a woman? It's possible he uses pics/videos of other women to arouse him and for him to give himself a hand job? Where is there anything in the OP's post talking about 'hand jobs'...? I am glad that your husband does not neglect you sexually. That's important. The reason it's not ok for my hubby and me to watch porn either separately or together is because it is against our beliefs. I don't think this applies to the OP though, so it may not have much relevance to her situation.... Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 There are a lot of different perspectives on por, and what's right for one couple, may not be right for you. It sounds like you dont have a moral problem wit porn, nor is it affecting your husband's level of desire for you. So, your issue with it is that the variety makes you insecure. I think most men (and women) have at least some desire/ interest in/ curiosity about other people. You/ he may be married, but youre not dead! Personally, i think porn lwts people explore those fantasies and desires, without threat to the marriage. So, i would think of it as a positive way to meeting one's needs. Im not married but i think id have a hrder time trusting someone if they didnt watch porn. With porn, the fantasies are short lived and limited to internet porn stars. Without it, there are coworkers, neighbors, and friends to choose from for fantasies. To me, the porn stars are far less intimidating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 We were watching TV & the Playboy women were on. Women started talking about how their faces are all made to look the same (it's a make-up article..not important) & the men joked, "They have faces???" & we all laughed! I've always thought of porn as a masterbation tool nothing more. I WOULD have a problem with my husband fantacising about women he knows...but I know where that can lead! Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) What kind of porn would be my only issue. If its rough, violent or the girls are too young looking... What do you consider "rough" or "too young"? And why would this bother you? Just curious. Edited August 10, 2015 by crederer Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 I see nothing wrong with either partner watching porn, as long as it doesn't interfere with intimacy between them. I have a pretty high sex drive. My GF is almost always up for it, but if she's not, I'm okay with it. Porn is then my outlet. She knows I watch it and it's never been an issue. More women are watching porn today, too. I see nothing wrong with that either, again, as long as it's not interfering with the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 (edited) Crederer. In answer to your question... Rough. I read a lot of true crime books in the past. I think that influences my thinking. A lot of very violent criminals discuss desensitizing themselves & being encouraged by watching escalating violence & sex. If my man was watching gay porn (men) I'd be VERY concerned he was gay. If he was watching rape porn.... Get what I'm thinking? I have moral issues with the sexulalization of young girls anyway. Back to my statement above. Why is a man searching for 'very young looking' girls porn? Edited August 12, 2015 by ShatteredLady 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Crederer. In answer to your question... Rough. I read a lot of true crime books in the past. I think that influences my thinking. A lot of very violent criminals discuss desensitizing themselves & being encouraged by watching escalating violence & sex. If my man was watching gay porn (men) I'd be VERY concerned he was gay. If he was watching rape porn.... Get what I'm thinking? I have moral issues with the sexulalization of young girls anyway. Back to my statement above. Why is a man searching for 'very young looking' girls porn? There is no correlation between the type of porn you watch and your actual sexual behavior. That's like saying that because I like superman, I'm going to attempt to jump out of a window. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I'm no expert on this subject. I've never researched it. That's interesting. I still wouldn't be comfortable with a man who likes child porn around my kids. I don't really get why someone would watch rape & violent porn. It's obviously a subject I need to educate myself on (in my long list of interesting subjects). I wouldn't like it myself & I've never had a partner who finds violence & porn combined a turn-on. I don't really get the Superman comparison. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 May I ask if you like 'Extreme Porn' (for want of the proper phrase) & if it effects your 'real life' fantasies? Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I wish a woman would try to tell me it's not okay to watch porn. That I don't have her permission to watch porn, masturbate or anything else. I can't imagine it. Then again, I can't figure out guys who let women put them in the doghouse. Make them sleep on the couch. Throw them out of their own house. Stuff like that. smh Link to post Share on other sites
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