roycobb99 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 My wife and I have been married for 5 years, she is from another country and we are 24 years apart in age. After our first year or so of marriage my sex drive slowed down some, sex once a week but not always. I think that is not un-natural for a forty’s something? My wife, before meeting me had one experience with having sex and it did not go well. To me seems didn’t seem really fair, especially considering I had been married before and to be honest dated quite a lot both before my first marriage and after. I read a book called “opening up” and I also read everything I could about “Friends with Benefits” all without the knowledge of my wife. After being married a little over a year and a half, I was getting ready to leave for a business trip and my wife was going to a costume party with some girls from her work. I left her a note with a box of condoms and told her if she had to much fun at the party, to be safe. She took it completely wrong as though I was pushing her away. Every once and a while when the timing was right, I would tell her my thoughts on monogamy and the human race (not natural for humans) then one morning, she was very embarrassed but told me that she dreamed she was having sex with Tom Brady. She thought I would be upset, but I asked her was it fun? Hahaha To cut through some details, a few weeks later, I introduced her to a guy who became her “friend with benefits” he was in his early 30’s and she had some very enjoyable sexual experiences with him, but after about 4 or 5 months he took a job in another state. Since that time she has had 3 more friends with benefits, one of them she is currently still seeing as much as once a week. Our relationship has never been better, our sexual relationship perfect in my eyes, we are both happy. I guess my question is why is this so socially unacceptable? If we are happy, not hurting or bothering anyone, what is the big deal? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 There is no big deal, simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is just too obsessed with the need to have their own view be more correct than yours. Open relationships are not for everyone, they are not for me either, but that doesn't mean I have anything against it, it doesn't hurt me in fact it has zero impact on my life. Enjoy your wife and your relationship, stop thinking about what society has accepted as the social norm. Just because the majority wants or believes one thing, doesn't make it more correct. I truly believe some people have such empty lives, that they feel the need to inspect others and tell them how wrong they are, because they are incapable of opening their mind to enjoy or understand things in a way that is a different to what they know or like. Have fun with your life, you are already doing it better than most others can even begin to fathom. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Our relationship has never been better, our sexual relationship perfect in my eyes, we are both happy. I guess my question is why is this so socially unacceptable? If we are happy, not hurting or bothering anyone, what is the big deal? Wouldn't work for me but more power to you. If it works for the two of you and you've taken reasonable sexual, emotional and lifestyle precautions, you don't owe anyone an explanation. You do realize you've forfeited your right to start a "I'm Lonely, My Wife Ran Off With Her FWB" thread, right ??? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 if it works for you, fine. enjoy. it seems like there are only around 5% of married people who open up their marriage that way, and of them half divorce after 2 years. The usual complaint is "spouse did not follow the boundaries we both agreed to". or "spouse said it was only for physical sex, then then they fell in love". good luck with all that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author roycobb99 Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 if it works for you, fine. enjoy. it seems like there are only around 5% of married people who open up their marriage that way, and of them half divorce after 2 years. The usual complaint is "spouse did not follow the boundaries we both agreed to". or "spouse said it was only for physical sex, then then they fell in love". good luck with all that. You stated statistics that I am unaware of, can you please show your source specifically, perhaps a link? Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted July 28, 2015 Share Posted July 28, 2015 something wrong with google where you live?? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_marriage_incidence it took 30 seconds to find that... Link to post Share on other sites
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