davidromero43 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 How often do women cheat on girls trips? My wife wants to go on a girls trip. But my problem is that my exwife would go on girls trips to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Depends on the woman, not the trip. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Yep, depends on the woman. You shouldn't judge your wife by your EX-wife's actions. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Depends on the woman, not the trip. Yes, very much so......... There are no set answers, you have a wife who will, and is actively looking to cheat, or you don't. 27512753 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pondhawk Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I agree, it has to do with the person not the trip. Do you suspect anything? Link to post Share on other sites
MM1234 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Yep, depends on the woman. You shouldn't judge your wife by your EX-wife's actions. This 1000%!!! If your current wife has never given you a reason to not trust her, then I say trust her on this girl's trip. Your ex-wife's horrendous actions have nothing to do with your current wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I think the trip and the people she is going with do play a factor. If she is going with a few married women who are all in stable healthy marriages and they are going to Ohio to visit someone's sick aunt and help organise her house, that is a whole lot different than if she is going with a bunch of single party girls on a singles cruise in the Bahamas. Early in our marriage my wife was invited to go on a cruise with a couple single gals in th Caribbean. I did have an issue with that and was very candid about my concerns. Of course she said that she wasn't going to screw anybody and I believed her sincerity in that I did not think she was going with the intent to score some di(k however I tried to relay to her that was not the environment I wanted my wife in. I did know one of the single women going and she was very irresponsible, was a borderline alcoholic and would let just about any Tom, Dick and Harry have they way with her when she was out drinking. While I didn't think my wife was a cheater at heart, I really didn't want her in the room while these other gals were banging away on the dudes that would follow them back to the cabin. My wife was using the classic line that I was being "controlling" and thought I was being unreasonable. She finally confided in a wise old aunt about the situation and that wise old aunt slapped her upside the head and asked her if she had gone crazy. You gotta love wise old aunts! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Oldshirt, how long ago was the cruise invite, and does your wife have a different view of things now? Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Oldshirt, how long ago was the cruise invite, and does your wife have a different view of things now? This was over 15 years ago in the first few years of our marriage. Once her aunt thumped her upside the head, she saw things differently and now sees it as that kind of environment is just simply not appropriate for a married person. The way I put it when I was talking to her about it was I asked her how she would feel if I was going on a singles cruise with a bunch of good looking, studly, single guys that were a bunch of pussy hounds? Her response was, "but that is different!" I pointed out the only difference is that if I went on a cruise that every woman on the boat wouldn't be trying to get me drunk and lining up up to try to bang me. The only difference is that I would have to work at it, so her "different" argument want really holding any water. Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidromero43 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Do you suspect anything? No, it is more like a trigger. Link to post Share on other sites
berniev Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 No, it is more like a trigger. If you can't put a chastity belt on her, you have to operate at the mode of "Don't ask, don't tell," or someone call that "trust." If you can't respect her as a mature adult that she will make the best judgement, then it's time to leave because this will not the be last time she puts herself in a situation she may cheat on you. You have to know that she puts her in that situation every time she's not with you - guys will go after her regardless. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 No, it is more like a trigger. Does your wife understand that this is the case? Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 No, it is more like a trigger. Also, What is the trip? Like Oldshirt, I would not like my wife to go on a trip to a place that is a tour of the single "meat market", nor she would wont me. So, what is the trip? 778 Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidromero43 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 I did know one of the single women going and she was very irresponsible, and would let just about any Tom, Dick and Harry have they way with her when she was out drinking. This is who she is going with. Napa Valley Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 No, it is more like a trigger. The devil is in the details and context is everything. If your wife is looking for an excuse and opportunity to score some d!ck, you've got bigger problems on your hands than a girl's trip. If someone has a cheating heart and has intent, then a trip to pick up paper towels at Wal Mart has the same opportunities as a Caribbean cruise on the Shag Boat. If she's not a cheater at heart and has shown no indication to stray in the past, then context matters. If it's a trip with single party girls and cheating wives to Vegas or Jamaica to hit all the club's and spend the weekend drinking and dancing and living it up, then there is always a risk that poor judgement and loose boundaries can occur. If the trip is something that's not a sexually charged or sexually oriented environment and its with a group of stable, responsible, married women then the risk is greatly reduced. All those things add up to determine the level of appropriateness for a married person to be placing themselves in. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 This is who she is going with. Napa Valley Wine Tour? Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 This is who she is going with. Napa Valley One of the things I told my wife when she was thinking about going on the cruise was Even if she wasn't screwing some dude herself, I didn't want her there in the room while the other gals were screwing all the guys that they'd be picking up. Some situations you just don't want your spouse in the middle of even if they aren't going with the intention of scoring some a$$. There are some situations and environments that just aren't appropriate for a married person, man or woman, to be in. Getting married does entail a loss of some freedoms and opportunities. Going out clubbing and partying it up with slutty, single friends away from home for several days is something that a married person may need to exercise discretion for the greater good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidromero43 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Wine Tour? Yes, so it won't be a crazy party. I'm 99% positive she would not cheat. But one issue I have is that her friend likes to flirt with guys and get them to buy them drinks. I have shown up more than once having to chase some guy away. They would be like "Dude I really like your girl a lot. She is so hot". She will say she wasn't doing anything, her friend brought them over. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Yes, so it won't be a crazy party. I'm 99% positive she would not cheat. But one issue I have is that her friend likes to flirt with guys and get them to buy them drinks. I have shown up more than once having to chase some guy away. They would be like "Dude I really like your girl a lot. She is so hot". She will say she wasn't doing anything, her friend brought them over. OK so single "sociable" friend actively looking for men, plus lots of drink. Anyone else going? Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidromero43 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 OK so single "sociable" friend actively looking for men, plus lots of drink. Anyone else going? No, just the two. Another single friend, just like the other, might be going as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Sounds like they need a chaperone. (Maybe you should be the chaperone.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 As others have said, it's the woman and not the trip. I've been on several girls weekends and will continue to. I've never cheated and never will. Why not talk to your wife about how you feel. Not asking her not to go, but just how it's a trigger for you. Hopefully , she can empathise and reassure you she's nothing like your ex. Not all women cheat, so don't judge her because of your ex. Does she know you got divorced because your ex cheated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidromero43 Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Does she know you got divorced because your ex cheated? Yes, she has skipped many girls outings because of my issues. Link to post Share on other sites
SJS Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 No, just the two. Another single friend, just like the other, might be going as well. I've never been on a wine tasting tour. Do single guys even like this sort of thing? My first thought would be you have nothing to worry about... Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Do single guys even like this sort of thing? Single guys, I don't know. My wife and I have enjoyed winery tours a lot over the years. Then there's the movie "Sideways" - wine tour as extended bachelor party, sort of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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