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Husband angry a guy friend messaged me


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My husband saw a fb message from a friend(i really just see him as a friend,i actually talk to him about my marriage problems) he freaked out.

 

I see no reason since he knows my fb password so obviously there is nothing to hide

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why would you share intimate details of your marriage with a stranger? that is why your hubby is concerned, this guy is probably playing you...trying to separate your husband from you so he could score. your hubby is right to be pissed, both at this guy's game, and at your easy acceptance of him.

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What did the message say?

 

If it implied sex, I can see why hubby is upset. If the friend like a photo or suggested lunch, hubby needs to calm himself.

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Talking about marital problems with a male friend is an emotional affair, whether you know it now or not. It's a huge nono and you should cut it out with this "friend". Why do you need to discuss problems with a man that isn't your husband?

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Are you trying to lure other guy into a relationship by complaining about your husband and telling him your marriage is bad?

 

If you want to talk about your marriage problems I would pay a professional marriage counselor instead...and invite your husband.

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Are you trying to lure other guy into a relationship by complaining about your husband and telling him your marriage is bad?

 

If you want to talk about your marriage problems I would pay a professional marriage counselor instead...and invite your husband.

 

No i love my husband and this guy is only a friend.Not my type at all

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What did the message say?

 

If it implied sex, I can see why hubby is upset. If the friend like a photo or suggested lunch, hubby needs to calm himself.

 

It said "How are you these days,how is your husband? long time since we talked,just seen the movie and thought about you" (i suggested a movie few weeks ago)

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Your husband probably thought you went on a date to the movies with this guy. If that didn't happen, talk to your husband & explain. If you did go to the movies with this guy, apologize if you didn't tell hubby in advance. It looks like a romantic date but even if it wasn't, you still should have asked permission (that's not exactly the word I want) before.

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autumnnight
i actually talk to him about my marriage problems

 

This is a problem. No matter what your type is or isn't, it is never a good idea to talk to another man about your marriage.

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todreaminblue

My daughter had a similar problem .....talking to a guy about her relationship problems....and the guy was only to eager to put his two cents in ....to "help her" to make her see how special she was....yeah well....my daughter and her bf have called a break....and it seems this friend often tries to hook up with my daughter now....on a casual basis of course and not so interested in asking how she is and how she is going.....

 

 

in my experience....when a guy discusses a relationships problems concerning another man with a woman...his motives are not pure.....if he were a true and righteous man the last thing he would do would be to involve himself......unless of course he is a bishop or a marriage counsellor and getting paid for it....they all have a cost......sex or money....discuss your problems with a certified professional...a bishop or priest ...or the husband in question should always come first.......and if all fails...as i told my daughter....come to me talk to me...not some questionable guy who wants something from you ...other than to support you......deb

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Married people do not need opposite sex friends.

 

 

You are having an EA, emotional affair. Talking about personal marriage problems to another man is betraying your husband. This man as many others have used let me be your friend, you can vent to me, to "groom" a wife into having an affair.

 

 

Your husband is right to be mad at you carrying on a EA.

 

 

An EA with a OM has never saved a marriage. Though EA's with OM have led too many affairs.

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He is 100% friend,i can call him a brother,cousin

 

Before i married we used to talk all night long about all kinds of stuff,i enjoy talking to him.I have never seen him as a potentional "boyfriend"

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Talking all night long to a male friend is not ok when you are married. I'm sorry you are not getting the answer you wanted to hear but maybe that is good.

If you love your husband you will cut this guy off amd allow your husband to see it. Your husband's feelings are more important then you keeping a casual friend no?

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whichwayisup
My husband saw a fb message from a friend(i really just see him as a friend,i actually talk to him about my marriage problems) he freaked out.

 

I see no reason since he knows my fb password so obviously there is nothing to hide

 

You talk to another man about your marital issues, that's just not cool. Does your H know this man? If your H was opening up about things with another woman and you found out, how would you feel?

 

You and your H should be talking together to fix things, going to counseling too and if you need to open up and talk, your women friends should be the ones you talk to, not another guy. That's just asking for trouble, especially if 'that guy' has interest in you, he knows you're vulnerable.

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whichwayisup
He is 100% friend,i can call him a brother,cousin

 

Before i married we used to talk all night long about all kinds of stuff,i enjoy talking to him.I have never seen him as a potentional "boyfriend"

 

But when one gets married, there are things one just forgoes, and talking to another guy 'all night long' is a thing to give up. It's just being considerate to your husbands feelings and now you know he has a problem with you opening up to this guy. Have they met? If this guy is a friend of yours, then your husband should at least meet him and he should become a friend to him as well.

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He is 100% friend,i can call him a brother,cousin

 

Before i married we used to talk all night long about all kinds of stuff,i enjoy talking to him.I have never seen him as a potentional "boyfriend"

 

 

If your friendship with him pre-dated your marriage & nothing untoward happened your husband should be able to get passed this if you help him. Getting defensive especially when it was your actions that caused this will not fix things.

 

 

If you have always talked to this guy even though your friendship has some hallmarks of an EA, I'm telling you the fuel to this fire came from the movie comment, when your husband thinks you started dating this other guy.

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bubbaganoosh

Look. If you have problems in your marriage then why add another? That's just what you did. It doesn't matter if he's a long lost friend you grew up with or a co worker, the point is if you and your husband have problems then don't involved another guy no matter how innocent it might be.

 

Suppose you find out that he's yakking it up with a female friend about his marriage problems. Think you wouldn't be heading to the boiling point? If you say no then your lying through your teeth.

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Friskyone4u

Adna

You need to read a book called "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. Married folks do not tell their marital issues to opposite sex people .'it is the first step to an emotional affair . And it does not sound like your husband knows this guy or cares to have you carrying on secret conversations. And just cause you FB is not locked is not an excuse.

Sorry , but when you marry you can have acquaintances with men but you don't hang out or have personal conversations with other men . If you read any on this or any other forum you will be astonished at how many affairs start with EXACTLY the same words that you are saying.

I suggest you honor your husbands wishes and cut this crap out

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No i love my husband and this guy is only a friend.Not my type at all

 

If you love your H then you wouldn't talk to others about him.

 

 

You'd talk directly to him! How can he resolve your concerns if you don't discuss the problems directly with him?

 

It's not nice what you're doing to him behind his back.

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This is a problem. No matter what your type is or isn't, it is never a good idea to talk to another man about your marriage.

 

hmmm... i talk to my minister, counselor, cousins, brothers...and yup even guy friends... the emotion of regard and respect comes up. Not once has it been an "ea" to confide in concern.

 

The Op needn't defend or appease her hubby, as she says .. there is nothing to hide... she point blank is upfront... If he needs clarification , then it can be stated. Is there other reasons he feels the need to address this?

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If my wife were discussing our marital problems with another man I would be very angry. To me this is worse than just having sex with him. I'd be nearly as angry if she discussed our marriage with a female friend. I see our marriage as a private matter between the two of us.

 

I often flirt with other women, which of course I shouldn't, but I won't complain about my wife to other women as that would feel like a much bigger betrayal.

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I'd be concerned. Not threatened. Just concerned.

 

It definitely raises a lightly colored pink flag. Specially the part about him thinking about you.

 

Do you talk about your marriage problems on Facebook too?

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He is 100% friend,i can call him a brother,cousin

 

Before i married we used to talk all night long about all kinds of stuff,i enjoy talking to him.I have never seen him as a potentional "boyfriend"

 

YES! And he, privately, refers to you as his "soon to be playtoy". He is pointing out how bad your husband is to you, how the sex with him is not good, how he disrespects you. and as a contrast, HE is there to listen to your every need, comfort you, be your soul mate...until you see that you deserve better sex...with someone like him. GOOGLE: "how to screw a married woman". it is right out of the play book.

 

Snap out of it...those types of male/female relationships should have ended when you got married.

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I'm with your H on this one. You may have had those chats before marriage, but it's not right to continue. Rather than discuss your marital problems with your friend, use forums like this.

 

It's dangerous to discuss intimate details with another, even a bff, because the things you say are often used against you by the friend who ends up getting too close to your H.

 

If you badmouth your H to him, how do you expect him to view your H. It's disrespectful to your H, even if it's not how you intended it to be.

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I have talked to my husband,he asked how i would feel if he did it(i had to admit not good),he told the emotional connection hurts more than a "one time sex" .I have told this friend we will stop he said its ok.I also deleted him from fb and his phone number

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