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A few weeks ago I was getting dressed to go to my friends bday party. It was an upscale restaurant/club. Hubby was in the room when I was getting dressed and told me I should change bc I look "too sexy". It was a short semi loose fitting black dress that stopped just above the knee. I told him I rarely have anyplace to wear this dress and he had nothing to worry about. He then asked for a quickie and I told him no, bc I just got out of the shower. Next thing I know he gets up and says "I'm tired of you telling me no" and carries me to the bed. I tell him stop playing around, but I look in his eyes and he is serious. Instead of being angry the first thing I think about is that I'm not on the pill right now ( issues with my previous one and I'm waiting for my GYN to prescribe me a different one) and how I just can't get pregnant again as we are having issues.

 

He starts taking my underwear off and I tell him, "no when I get back". He said "no now"!I said then at least put a condom on bc I don't want to get pregnant. He gets a condom, then I start to get mad bc he's forcing me, so I try to get up but he holds me down with one hand ( he's a LOT bigger than me) and uses his other hand to put the condom on. I'm in shock at this point, but here's where it gets confusing. I start to actually enjoy it and eventually have an orgasm. I feel like my husband and my body betrayed me at the same time! Now I'm afraid that he thinks this is some sort of turn on and he'll do it again!?

Edited by Hopefulone1
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A few weeks ago I was getting dressed to go to my friends bday party. It was an upscale restaurant/club. Hubby was in the room when I was getting dressed and told me I should change bc I look "too sexy". It was a short semi loose fitting black dress that stopped just above the knee. I told him I rarely have anyplace to wear this dress and he had nothing to worry about. He then asked for a quickie and I told him no, bc I just got out of the shower. Next thing I know he gets up and says "I'm tired of you telling me no" and carries me to the bed. I tell him stop playing around, but I look in his eyes and he is serious. Instead of being angry the first thing I think about is that I'm not on the pill right now ( issues with my previous one and I'm waiting for my GYN to prescribe me a different one) and how I just can't get pregnant again as we are having issues.

 

He starts taking my underwear off and I tell him, "no when I get back". He said "no now"!I said then at least put a condom on bc I don't want to get pregnant. He gets a condom, then I start to get mad bc he's forcing me, so I try to get up but he holds me down with one hand ( he's a LOT bigger than me) and uses his other hand to put the condom on. I'm in shock at this point, but here's where it gets confusing. I start to actually enjoy it and eventually have an orgasm. I feel like my husband and my body betrayed me at the same time! Now I'm afraid that he thinks this is some sort of turn on and he'll do it again!?

 

This is difficult. Because you said no, he in essence raped you, which is very serious.

Rape within marriage is a criminal offense in many places.

Whilst you may have eventually "enjoyed" it, in that you had a orgasm, it bothers you because basically he has now been given free reign to do it again and that is an uncomfortable place to be.

 

You have to decide whether you are going to put up with this.

He is your husband, but conjugal rights do not extend to rape and next time it may not be so enjoyable for you (if indeed it was) or next time you could get hurt.

Rape fantasy is fine in the head, and rape fantasy by consenting partners is fine, but you didn't consent and living with a man capable of rape is not something I think you should put up with.

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Having had a quick skim of your other posts, this man is abusive. He is now using his power to control you and he even raped you, and is frightening your kids.

He may or may not be suffering from Combat PTSD, but you cannot be expected to live like this.

Get out now and take your kids to a safe place.

YOU may be able to put up with his anger and even this rape but children get damaged, and frightened kids need to be protected by the non aggressive parent.

Leave NOW and let him sort out his own issues.

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What happens when he wants something you don't. ...say, anal? Would you be ok with that if you enjoyed it? I think this is a serious issue that may require some counseling.

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What happens when he wants something you don't. ...say, anal? Would you be ok with that if you enjoyed it? I think this is a serious issue that may require some counseling.

 

He would probably stop if I started crying or screaming..at least I hope. I'm very orgasmic for a woman and I was not in the mood. I was upset when it started but my body caught up to what was going on. Doesn't mean I was "ok" with it.It had been about 7 days since we had it which is an eternity for him. I'm going to bring up counseling again tonight when the kids are in bed and there are no distractions.

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What happens when he wants something you don't. ...say, anal? Would you be ok with that if you enjoyed it? I think this is a serious issue that may require some counseling.

 

Actually, my question would be "what would happen if you didn't enjoy it"? I don't this the OP's pleasure was his top priority - or even on his list...

 

Mr. Lucky

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This man is an abuser and no amount of counseling will ever fix him. You need to make plans to leave him. This stuff is not a joke.

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This man is an abuser and no amount of counseling will ever fix him. You need to make plans to leave him. This stuff is not a joke.

 

I agree, a line was crossed here.

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Rarely have I ever read a more insulting and less compassionate post.

 

In Popsicle's defense, I don't think she understood the history here and perhaps didn't quite understand the danger signs. The OP waffled, so I think Popsicle just picked up on that and was trying to add some levity to the situation.

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Body betrayal is a common theme in molestation and rape cases.

 

The point is, the body is made to feel pleasure and that is why it is called abuse. The abuser is abnormally using what is normal for their bad intent.

 

So you're not wrong and your body's not wrong. His behavior is wrong.

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It sounds fun! If it really upset you though, just tell him.

 

She is unlikely to tell him as he has a very short fuse and he emotionally abuses and intimidates her.

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