underpants Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Marriage contact. A contract of servitude to each other to grow offspring until adulthood. An 18 year contract to see a project to completion. A hopeful en devour, and with usually great results (children), but the premise is wrong. The road to someplace is always paved with good intentions. Thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Piffle. I am 50 years old and just got married. There will be no offspring from the union to "see that project to completion." The only servitude is mine to give as a slave to a Master, but - then again - I am in a BDSM relationship that I entered into freely. His is to provide a roof and sustenance and be a compassionate and loving Master. (Of course, for me, the fact that I don't have to work, get to travel extensively, and have a full and exciting life of cultural and artistic endeavors is icing on the cake!) Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 mu·tu·al ˈmyo͞oCH(əw)əl/ adjective 1. (of a feeling or action) experienced or done by each of two or more parties toward the other or others. "a partnership based on mutual respect and understanding" ser·vi·tude ˈsərvəˌt(y)o͞od/ noun the state of being a slave or completely subject to someone more powerful. Hmm..... Link to post Share on other sites
Anderlie Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 Huge assumptions in what the aims of a marriage are. My husband and I are childfree so none of that for us. We DO aim to be each other's ongoing project though, as in always working to ensure our relationship is a priority. Hopefully we can do it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 23, 2014 Share Posted November 23, 2014 It could be true. Although some people actually like and respect each other, and why shouldn't they stay together for the duration. Whether true love exists, I can't say. I know what it feels like to think it does, and it's a nice feeling. If marriage didn't already exist, if we didn't inherit, I'm not sure whether we would invent it as a solution to some problem we have. Probably in that case conservatives would protest the threat to their way of life, they would filibuster and legal marriage would never have a chance. Interesting to consider that it exists in pretty much every culture. I can't think of any that don't have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author underpants Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 Thanks for your thoughts. Perhaps it is the upcoming holidays and people attempting to suck me into a friendly ear to their unhappiness and never changing perceived victimhood, as well as reading unhappy stories where nothing ever seems to resolve in a positive way. I come away from much of it with a sad belief that most people are more comfortable in an 'unhappy' state rather then the pursuit of a 'happy' one. Maybe it is fear of the unknown path? The invisible cages we create for ourselves to feel safe in? Sorry for the down thoughts. I will detach from it all and I do want to believe that genuinely happy couples can and do make it. I do see it, but it is more the rarity than the normal. Anyway, good luck out there people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Right in some cases, but as a generalization? Wrong. Recently married and neither of us plan/want to have children. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Happy marriages are indeed real........deb Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Thanks for your thoughts. Perhaps it is the upcoming holidays and people attempting to suck me into a friendly ear to their unhappiness and never changing perceived victimhood, as well as reading unhappy stories where nothing ever seems to resolve in a positive way. I come away from much of it with a sad belief that most people are more comfortable in an 'unhappy' state rather then the pursuit of a 'happy' one. Maybe it is fear of the unknown path? The invisible cages we create for ourselves to feel safe in? Sorry for the down thoughts. I will detach from it all and I do want to believe that genuinely happy couples can and do make it. I do see it, but it is more the rarity than the normal. Anyway, good luck out there people. Well, underpants, while I'd never want to see you suffer, the fact that you're a bit bummed out brought you back here to post. So from that perspective, I guess I'm glad you're bummed out. Selfish? I think not. Ok, fine. It's selfish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I often say that the marriage agreement should go up for renewal every 7 years. A lot of people think that this would end a lot of marriages but what I think it would do is cause people to start acting better and stop acting like they own one another. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 I kind the idea of mutual servitude, taken figuratively. If each person makes it their mission to serve the other, the result will be two loved up spouses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mal78 Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Thanks for your thoughts. Perhaps it is the upcoming holidays and people attempting to suck me into a friendly ear to their unhappiness and never changing perceived victimhood, as well as reading unhappy stories where nothing ever seems to resolve in a positive way. I come away from much of it with a sad belief that most people are more comfortable in an 'unhappy' state rather then the pursuit of a 'happy' one. Maybe it is fear of the unknown path? The invisible cages we create for ourselves to feel safe in? Sorry for the down thoughts. I will detach from it all and I do want to believe that genuinely happy couples can and do make it. I do see it, but it is more the rarity than the normal. Anyway, good luck out there people. Quote: "some people aren't happy unless they are miserable". I have been saying this for years and I'm not sure if it's one I made up or adapted. I know it derives from a very miserable father who would often fake misery and/or illness to the outside for sympathy which was a very odd to me as a child. Ie. If someone called for him he would cough and gargle his voice to appear very sick. Funny thing he does this now 95% of the time I call him. I ignore it and move on in conversation. Realizing that there are people out there like this and ignoring their efforts for obtaining company with their misery and just move past it if you are faced with conversation ie. The holidays approaching then it gets much easier. Don't care that this bothers you just as much as you care about their "woe me" baited conversation. That's them being happy with misery and looking for company. Ignore the bait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author underpants Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 (edited) Quote: "some people aren't happy unless they are miserable". While your train of thought is interesting and I agree on some points, the original "quote" does not belong to me. Edited November 24, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author underpants Posted November 24, 2014 Author Share Posted November 24, 2014 I kind the idea of mutual servitude, taken figuratively. If each person makes it their mission to serve the other, the result will be two loved up spouses. Or a co-dependent relationship from hell? Just say'in. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 24, 2014 Share Posted November 24, 2014 Or a co-dependent relationship from hell? Just say'in. Interdependence for the win. Link to post Share on other sites
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