When is the right time to propose?

[FromAbove]

Hello everyone!

 

Just want to know when is the right time to propose to a girl you like and you think she is the one for you, does it matter how long you know eachother? Or do you just know and feel it? What about your girl, your parents or your friends are the one who pushes you for marriage, will that make any difference?

If you are involved with a girl for 10 months but officailly 3, and planning to see eachother again in few months. When is the right time to propose?

 

How long after the proposal should one get married?

 

What should you do when you propose? I am so clueless

 

And why should one marry soon? If you wait while you feel she is the one but you still have doubts...is it better to wait? What if you wait and your girl meets someone else? She could lose hope and trust in you and your relationship if you wait too long. So it's quite a dillema to deal with. :S

[d0nnivain]

How old are you? If you are under 30 & officially dating for only 3 months it's too soon.

 

A decent rule of thumb is that you should have some sense about marriage around the two year mark. The older you are, the shorter than may be.

 

Weddings are expensive & take time to plan. Many catering halls book at least a year in advance. Many wedding dresses take 6-9 months to make / sew although if the bride is conventional bridal size (street size 4 - 6, bridal size 10) she may be able to buy a sample dress. You may also need time to save money to afford the wedding you want. the AVERAGE wedding in the US costs about $25,000. Ratchet that up if you live in a high cost of living area.

 

Traditionally a proposal involves asking her parents for her hand, purchasing a ring & selecting a location. Where & how are up to you. At your house. Where you 1st met. Somewhere exotic. It can be as unique as you are as a couple.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Just want to know when is the right time to propose to a girl you like and you think she is the one for you, does it matter how long you know eachother?

It's never the right time for a girl you "like". Generally, you want it to be someone you "love". It does not matter how long you've known each other. It matters how WELL you know each other.

 

Or do you just know and feel it? What about your girl, your parents or your friends are the one who pushes you for marriage, will that make any difference?

 

You know it. But other people should not be the ones pushing you to do it.

 

If you are involved with a girl for 10 months but officailly 3, and planning to see eachother again in few months. When is the right time to propose?

 

You've been "officially" together 3 months?? Ummm...no. You're planning to see each other again in a few MONTHS?? Clarify please.

 

And why should one marry soon?

You shouldn't. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that cannot be easily undone.

 

I am so clueless

It's evident. Take your time. No need to rush into something so permanent.

[FromAbove]

Hello, thanks for your quick reply

I am 35 but look younger

Wow 25.000 us dollars? I don't have that much saving lol

I guess it's better to wait till i am rich. So 6 to 9 months after a proposal to get married?

Why do they take so long for a weddingdress? Can't it be faster? Sure they can. Just somwthing simple and sweet will do.

 

How old are you? If you are under 30 & officially dating for only 3 months it's too soon.

 

A decent rule of thumb is that you should have some sense about marriage around the two year mark. The older you are, the shorter than may be.

 

Weddings are expensive & take time to plan. Many catering halls book at least a year in advance. Many wedding dresses take 6-9 months to make / sew although if the bride is conventional bridal size (street size 4 - 6, bridal size 10) she may be able to buy a sample dress. You may also need time to save money to afford the wedding you want. the AVERAGE wedding in the US costs about $25,000. Ratchet that up if you live in a high cost of living area.

 

Traditionally a proposal involves asking her parents for her hand, purchasing a ring & selecting a location. Where & how are up to you. At your house. Where you 1st met. Somewhere exotic. It can be as unique as you are as a couple.

[FromAbove]

Hi Olivia, thanks!

I know her through friends of a friend, know her very well in the 10 months we have been together. It feels good. She moved in with me 3 months ago, now she had to go abroad to work as au pair..and come back in 2 months, then we will be together again.

I know i should not let anybody push me, but it is hard to hide from it.

 

It's never the right time for a girl you "like". Generally, you want it to be someone you "love". It does not matter how long you've known each other. It matters how WELL you know each other.

 

 

 

You know it. But other people should not be the ones pushing you to do it.

 

 

 

You've been "officially" together 3 months?? Ummm...no. You're planning to see each other again in a few MONTHS?? Clarify please.

 

 

You shouldn't. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that cannot be easily undone.

 

It's evident. Take your time. No need to rush into something so permanent.

[d0nnivain]

Hello, thanks for your quick reply

I am 35 but look younger

Wow 25.000 us dollars? I don't have that much saving lol

I guess it's better to wait till i am rich. So 6 to 9 months after a proposal to get married?

Why do they take so long for a weddingdress? Can't it be faster? Sure they can. Just somwthing simple and sweet will do.

 

$25,000 is an average. Many weddings cost more. Think about it. If you have 100 guests at $100 per person (which is really $125 with tax & tip) you are already at $12,500. You still haven't bought rings, a tux, a dress, shoes, a veil, invitations, postage for the invites & postage for the RSVP cards, gotten a band, paid for thank you notes or the postage, hired a photographer, bought flowers, rented a limo, gone on a honeymoon etc. there are a lot of moving parts. .

 

It takes that long to create a wedding gown because many dresses have detailing that has to be hand sewn. Lace & beading are delicate. You (the guy) say you want simple & sweet but that doesn't mean she doesn't want bling galore.

 

You should have some sense of the finances before you go into this.

 

Also if you are 35, I don't care what you look like. You have no business dating girls (< 20 years old)

 

Also certain religions like the Catholics require you to wait at least 1 year & take pre-wedding classes or they won't marry you.

Edited October 15, 2014 by d0nnivain

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Hi Olivia, thanks!

I know her through friends of a friend, know her very well in the 10 months we have been together. It feels good. She moved in with me 3 months ago, now she had to go abroad to work as au pair..and come back in 2 months, then we will be together again.

I know i should not let anybody push me, but it is hard to hide from it.

 

Take your time. Live together 6 months, a year. See how you feel about it then and how the relationship has developed and whether or not you can picture yourself with her 10 years from now, 20 years from now. How old is she? If she's under 20, like the above poster states, then I would definitely say no. You do not at all sound like a 35 year old man. I don't know how you look.

Edited October 15, 2014 by Smthn_Like_Olivia

[MuscleCarFan]

Pink_sugar and I dated for a year, lived together for a year then we got married. It was about $10k for us to get married.

[CarrieT]

know her very well in the 10 months we have been together. It feels good.

 

Of course it feels good. You are still in the honeymoon period of the relationship.

 

It is why many of us heartily suggesting waiting at least TWO YEARS of knowing someone before proposing because so much changes in a relationship after 14 to 18 months...

 

And as for wedding costs, if it is her first wedding, yes, she will probably want a custom dress and "all the fixings." At 50 years of age, I just got married for the second time (single for 25 years) and even with a mail-order $169 dress, my wedding with only 25 people was still about $8,000.00, excluding rings and I worked on a HUGE budget.

[FromAbove]

$25,000 is an average. Many weddings cost more. Think about it. If you have 100 guests at $100 per person (which is really $125 with tax & tip) you are already at $12,500. You still haven't bought rings, a tux, a dress, shoes, a veil, invitations, postage for the invites & postage for the RSVP cards, gotten a band, paid for thank you notes or the postage, hired a photographer, bought flowers, rented a limo, gone on a honeymoon etc. there are a lot of moving parts. .

 

It takes that long to create a wedding gown because many dresses have detailing that has to be hand sewn. Lace & beading are delicate. You (the guy) say you want simple & sweet but that doesn't mean she doesn't want bling galore.

 

You should have some sense of the finances before you go into this.

 

Also if you are 35, I don't care what you look like. You have no business dating girls (< 20 years old)

 

Also certain religions like the Catholics require you to wait at least 1 year & take pre-wedding classes or they won't marry you.

 

My girlfriend is 26, gosh people can have quick thoughts negatively, just because i put a wink behind a sentence. Luckily my girlfriend is not so demanding. Thanks for all your tips, very insightfull.

[FromAbove]

Of course it feels good. You are still in the honeymoon period of the relationship.

 

It is why many of us heartily suggesting waiting at least TWO YEARS of knowing someone before proposing because so much changes in a relationship after 14 to 18 months...

 

And as for wedding costs, if it is her first wedding, yes, she will probably want a custom dress and "all the fixings." At 50 years of age, I just got married for the second time (single for 25 years) and even with a mail-order $169 dress, my wedding with only 25 people was still about $8,000.00, excluding rings and I worked on a HUGE budget.

 

That's a huge budget for only 25 people. I think the location, the food, entertainment costs, all cost alot. I surely will keep your advices in mind, i know what to do now. Thanks alot!