he thanked me?

[d0nnivain]

The other day was our wedding anniversary.

 

In the card DH handwrote "I can never thank you enough for loving me."

 

That broke my heart. I have no idea why he feels the need to thank me. I love him dearly & could no more stop loving him then I could stop breathing. I also think I'm the one who has been difficult to live with over the past 3 years so I ought to be thanking him. (I do thank him btw).

 

I asked him what he meant by that. He just hugged me & said he loves me so much.

 

I am a word smith. Am I over thinking this?

 

You should probably know that when we were 1st together, DH would only write his name at the bottom of cards. Not even the date, Dear Donnivain or Love, DH; just his name. It drove me crazy & I had to "teach" him to sign a card. So the fact that he wrote anything is wonderful but the word choice made me Q how much I show him that I appreciate & cherish him.

 

I have been feeling rather insecure about my place in the world so I'm seemingly hyper-sensitive to everything.

[Elias33]

Stop thinking, and enjoy.

[Ronni_W]

In the card DH handwrote "I can never thank you enough for loving me."

 

...but the word choice made me Q how much I show him that I appreciate & cherish him.

I would interpret his words as him expressing his knowing of exactly how much you appreciate and cherish him...that's (part of) what he is thanking you for! Meaning, he really likes how you're doing it...you are doing it perfectly

[Art_Critic]

IMO.. he is bowing his head in your presence in a sense.. he feels grateful that you are part of his life...

 

and yes.. over thinking you are...

[Michelle ma Belle]

I think that is a beautiful inscription.

 

It says to be that he's a humble man or humbled by you. Perhaps he too feels insecure sometimes and unsure of his place in the world and having you by his side, having chosen him to partner with makes him feel very blessed.

 

I also think that the act of "thanking" someone especially for loving them requires them to be vulnerable. Something most men don't do very well at the best of times yet it can be a very attractive quality in my opinion.

 

The fact that he can be vulnerable and say this to you shows me how deeply you're loved by him.

 

Lucky girl

Edited October 15, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[d0nnivain]

Thanks everybody.

 

I still don't know what it is about that word choice that is eating at me, but I do know I have a lot to be grateful for.

[Mr. Lucky]

In the card DH handwrote "I can never thank you enough for loving me."

 

Maybe had he written "I'm thankful for being able to receive your love" would have more accurately captured his feeling. Either way, lucky you!

 

Mr. Lucky

[Keenly]

Not all of us grew up with loving families or parents and friends. Some of us have been rejected by friends, abandoned by family, or just ignored altogether.

 

 

Its possible he is saying it because he truly is thankful that you didn't abandon him and instead chose him to give an amount of love he has never experienced before.

 

 

 

 

I can see myself saying something like that.

[Redheaded Mistress]

I'd say enjoy it.

 

He's obviously uncomfortable with sentiment and writing that was really going out on a limb for him. Probably made him uncomfortable to talk about.

 

Enjoy it for what he was trying to say.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Well I have said this numerous times in my relationships, and I'm an expressive guy...unfortunately there would have been an entire card filled out had it been me.

 

The reason I personally write this is because I'm a hard guy to love and I know it.

 

I am challenging, I am difficult, opinionated (just a tiny bit), at times demanding, unpredictable and act without rules or a script at times...im not easy and in short I put someone who is with me through lot. I challenge them in many ways and although I know in return I do some other things very right, I could be more patient, more understanding, more empathetic to how she feels and give more back in return, because she's been there for me and accepted my faults by continuing to love me.

 

Unfortunately I have been through a lot and the scars run deep.

 

*incoming mega sappy text*

 

In my opinion this is his way of saying thank you for being there for him and that he appreciates you for adding so much to his life that wouldn't be there without you...and that you may never understand the deep gratitude he has for you. And he knows he would not be the same man without...a lot of us men have to admit that to ourselves at some point.

 

Sometimes a woman can give a man more than he could ever articulate; that even myself as a wordy, verbose man could ever express. It is challenging to put those emotions into words, especially if you've never learned to open that part of you.

 

.....

 

Sometimes I myself wonder how a woman could love me, because of my faults. Not because I feel sorry for myself but I think sometimes why would a woman want to "deal with me" there's a billion other guys much simpler...and so I do feel genuinely thankful.

 

Maybe he feels a lot but says a little...maybe he even regrets that he can't figure out how to say more.

 

I spent years trying to repair the things I had broken with someone...angry and upset with myself for the distance I had created.

 

A man needs to know when to say he appreciates you, and he needs to push himself to show it...because I can say from experience it's the worst feeling to realize this after its too late. After I learned my lesson and it was too late for me to make things right, I still carry that burden but I learned that we as men really need to make an effort to show appreciation and gratitude for those special people in our lives.

 

I can't put words into his mouth, but if the man never speaks and he's saying thank you for loving him, then maybe he just realized something many of us men seem to forget or take for granted...and maybe it's his way of trying to express or change that.

[d0nnivain]

Thanks Ninjainpajamas.

 

All my life I dated lawyers, salesman, politicians, & actors -- guys who make their living with verbal words. DH is a Marine & sometimes I forget words don't come easily to him.

 

Upon further reflection part of me is so moved that he would say such a thing.

 

I know I have changed him & made him more expressive than he has ever been. His own parents commented on the changes.

 

Again, I'm nitpicking & over analyzing but the vulnerability shown in those words is very powerful. I think part of what is freaking me out is that he is telling me just how much he trusts me & that knowledge is humbling because I know it comes with great responsibility -- to be worthy of the trust he has placed in me, and in us. Partially since I'm currently shaky about my own abilities to do much right now I fear another person's reliance on me.

 

Does that make any sense?

[Ninjainpajamas]

Thanks Ninjainpajamas.

 

All my life I dated lawyers, salesman, politicians, & actors -- guys who make their living with verbal words. DH is a Marine & sometimes I forget words don't come easily to him.

 

Upon further reflection part of me is so moved that he would say such a thing.

 

I know I have changed him & made him more expressive than he has ever been. His own parents commented on the changes.

 

Again, I'm nitpicking & over analyzing but the vulnerability shown in those words is very powerful. I think part of what is freaking me out is that he is telling me just how much he trusts me & that knowledge is humbling because I know it comes with great responsibility -- to be worthy of the trust he has placed in me, and in us. Partially since I'm currently shaky about my own abilities to do much right now I fear another person's reliance on me.

 

Does that make any sense?

 

I understand where you're coming from...I know very much what that feels like, but then again I'm emotionally unavailable and it makes me feel safer to be with someone who I know I can protect myself against, rather than someone who I know I may fall too deeply in love with, feeling vulnerable and out of control...not to mention the responsibility I'd feel in protecting their vulnerability in return because they are giving me something worth losing...that maybe I cannot be trusted with.

 

You seem a bit scared and unprepared...in a vulnerable place and unsure if you can handle the responsibility. Find the root of where that vulnerability comes from within you, understand your emotions and fears...and most importantly try not to panic and be afraid, that is an impulsive reaction...and consider after all, is this not you desired?

 

Don't build it up, relax and try to remember you've made him stronger with your love, not weaker.

[d0nnivain]

You seem a bit scared and unprepared...in a vulnerable place and unsure if you can handle the responsibility. Find the root of where that vulnerability comes from within you, understand your emotions and fears...and most importantly try not to panic and be afraid, that is an impulsive reaction...and consider after all, is this not you desired?

 

I know where my insecurities & vulnerabilities come from. So does DH. They are somewhat out of character & they are being addressed because they are very real & have done a number on my head.

[Ruby Slippers]

I see it as an expression of gratitude for all the ways that you love him.

 

You're a lucky woman