Gypsymama Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 My husband and I have a long and difficult past. We both knew that when we had something worth fighting for and two years ago chose to move across the country to change our situation. Our new life was better than ever. We were more successful than we had ever been individually or together. It was then that we decided to get married and became pregnant with my son. I have always been a big decision maker in our relationship ever since we came to California and have been working so hard to stay happy healthy and clean. But with a newborn baby I knew it was time to let my husband's make some of the decisions so I did not feel so stressed out. I regret this a lot. Things have gotten so out of control. We are no longer financially doing great and I feel that our relationship and where we are in our life is not making me proud anymore. My has been moved his cousin brother and father into our home. He paid for their plane tickets and has had them now living with us with no jobs for six months. My son does not have his own room. And now I have just found out that I am pregnant again. I suffered for the few first few months from intense depression and anxiety which may have been related to postpartum. Since then I have become less depressed and anxious and just sort of feel numb and betrayed. I feel that my husband has overlooked all of my wishes and my emotions and has taken us from a happy household to a zoo. We do not smoke cigarettes yet the houseguests do and my back porch got burned down on accident. They just sit around all day and watch TV. Which is a very expensive cable bill that I pay, while they eat my three meals a day. They sleep in my bedrooms that should be for my child and also for an office room that could be making me and my husband much happier by allowing us privacy for art and music. I never have any privacy. I can't make a bottle for my child at night in my underwear or bed clothes because I'm afraid that they will still be up which they always are. I feel my place is no longer in this house, I don't feel positive, I don't feel at home. They tell the same stories every day. The energy is terrible. And my husband acts so different around them. His pride is so big around a house of men he know longer shows me respect as a partner. I don't know what to do. Now finding out I'm pregnant again I am more alone than ever. The only way living on the opposite side of the country as our friends and family worked was when we had each other to fully trust and lean on. I'm on the outside of my own life and he wont stand up for us. What do I do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 you get out. If you have expressed all this to your husband and it is falling on death ears then it is time fr you to leave. Please speak with a lawyer as well as a family counselor regarding your situation. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyRock Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Cancel cable today. Stop buying food and cooking for them. Put on your bitch boots, and tell them you are pregnant so they have a month to get out. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsymama Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 Cable is off. Woke up to an unbelievable mess. Bitch boots on for my final attempt. Thanks guys, it's nice to have support. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 I agree with the others. Stand up for yourself. If your husband doesn't like it, he can leave too. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamLost Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 You need to have a serious talk with your husband. His brother and father have nothing but a pain when they are around: they smoke, they sat around the house all day, use up resources and don't contribute, and they are taking up the limited space of yours and your child's. Tell your husband that his priority should be taking care of you and your child and also now that you are pregnant with your second child, it's either you or them that will be staying at the house. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Agreed... If my son lost his room to freeloaders then my bitch pants would already be on. Not to mention that if he refused to respect me or listen to very legitimate concerns then he would have a choice to make... Us or them. You need to have a serious talk with your husband. His brother and father have nothing but a pain when they are around: they smoke, they sat around the house all day, use up resources and don't contribute, and they are taking up the limited space of yours and your child's. Tell your husband that his priority should be taking care of you and your child and also now that you are pregnant with your second child, it's either you or them that will be staying at the house. Link to post Share on other sites
heartshaped Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Simply put, I'm with the others, they have to go. I take it you've already discussed it with your husband. He hasn't listened to your emotions, feelings, or needs (or the needs of your child(ren). They're his family, but since they want to freeload off the both of you in your home I would take it upon myself to tell them they have to get the hell out. Hubby may not like it, but it's you he's married to, you are the mother of his children, and he sleeps with you not them. He'll get over it. And I'd give him an earful about it too. He'd be lucky if I stopped ****** about this by Christmas. I'd also tell him that in the future unless under some dire circumstances it is not acceptable for his family to stay for longer than x amount of time. Link to post Share on other sites
yajiuma Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I get stressed having people stay for a few days, having no privacy/breathing space for 6 months sounds like a nightmare! Combined with their smoking/household duties they incur all while pregnant with a young child- you have my complete sympathy! Like the other's have said it's GO TIME, time to draw lines in the sand and set time limits for when they are to be out. These people may be "family" but they are parasites ,and like parasites will never willingly leave their all providing host unless forcibly removed. Good luck ! Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Its your house, give them a deadline to move out and stick to it. This will cause a problem with your husband but your health and the kids are the priority, not them. Link to post Share on other sites
MuscleCarFan Posted September 16, 2014 Share Posted September 16, 2014 Kick these leeches out! If your husband doesn't understand why, then his ass needs to move out too. Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Be direct. Tell him it is your home and that they must leave and be unemployed somewhere else. Enough is enough. It's not like you have not been patient. Be direct. Link to post Share on other sites
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