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Wife When Angry is Verbally Abusive


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If anyone can offer me advice or let me vent, it would really help.

 

My Wife has very explosive bouts of anger. She will direct her rage at me and our child by being verbally abusive. These do not last very long but they occur most days of a week every week. If I confront or even speak to her during these episodes she orders me to leave, pushes me if I try to comfort or hug her and tells me we are getting a divorce every time. She tries to tell me other hurtful things but the divorce threats are consistent. I always refuse to leave and she says she'll make me, asks her friends and my family if they'll take me back in but I still refuse to leave. She's very depressed after, apologizes and feels ashamed for behaving this way and admits she has a problem. However, we disagree about how to go about solving it. I've tried to convince her to get onto medication from a Psychiatrist but she refused. I told her if she does not change then I am really going to consider a divorce which changed her mind. But she still is very stubborn and wants to go her way or not at all, she doesn't want to attend therapy but will and refuses to take any medication other than homeopathic medicines. I'm very skeptical about homeopathic medicines working and would really like her to give psychiatric meds a try too but she is only open to the idea if no homeopathic medicines work.

 

I've gone as far to never raise my voice at her, but she'll criticize me regardless of whatever I do after she gets out of the rage. She'll ask me to act differently and then be upset at me for acting the way she explicitly asked and tell me to behave differently.

I decided to do what I think is best instead because she only gets angry even if I listen to her.

 

I try my best to treat her like glass but it doesn't matter because if she's angry about anything she'll take it out on our household family regardless of how we treat her. If I cry then she will stop her rage and comfort me but it is very difficult for me to do so when I am verbally abused because it makes me angry.

 

I would love outside advice or suggestions. Thank you very much!

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File for divorce. Insist she go to IC for her anger issues, and if she refuses or does not improve, carry through with the divorce. If she reforms sufficiently, you can stop the divorce if you so choose. Her behavior is damaging to your child and to you, and cannot be tolerated.

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sdrawkcaB ssA

It could be a hormone imbalance, or a lack of proper nutrition. B12, Iron, Calcium, and other nutrients can effect her. Even if it is not a mental issue, some things that aggravate her will boil and boil til it reaches an explosive state.

 

That can happen with all women in general.

 

I have that at home, bi-polar and anxiety is a toxic mix of sorts.

If you are unable to find help with her, your only option for personal heath is time away time or divorce. Trouble is a child, staying through this is detrimental for a young mind. Separating can be difficult as well, as wife can play the child against you or effect how the child relates to things. Either way you go about this will be a battle.

 

I hope you can find a way to resolve before severing your marriage.

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It's not acceptable to submit a child to this kind of behaviour. What is your child learning from watching their mother? They are learning that this is normal and acceptable behaviour and that the victim of such behaviour should just sit there and take it. Is that what you want your child to believe?

 

The next time your wife begins her outbursts, pick up your child and leave. Don't come back until she calls you to apologise. When you get home, tell her that you will give her 3 strikes until she is out. If she does it 3 more times, file for divorce. You have to think of your child's well-being here.

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