adrian77 Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 As I barely had one to begin with. Below is my post from earlier. My question is why after being so flirtatious and making out with me is he now continuing to text me but making excuses or rescheduling when I mention him coming over. Did I some how turn him off physically? Why even continue to stay in contact? Yes I know my husband issues should be addressed but that's a whole other post.* Please no editorial comments about how horrible I am because I am not. My husband doesn't have any intimacy. I talk to him about it and he doesn't seem to care. So a guy I used to know from mutual friends started texting me. Very innocent. Through out the months he would slowly start complimenting me then asking selfies etc. Then it started to get sexual. I held back but he broke me down and I started to tell him about my husband and the issues we have. Finally after a few months we met up and made out. Nothing but kissing. Even though he did try more and I stopped him. Now he continues to text me but there is no more sexual joking and he says he hopes I find someone to fulfill my needs but he has to stop so he can be a good spouse and father to his son. Then a few days later he gets sexual again. Then stops and gets weird if I respond to it. All through text . We haven't met in person again. First he says he feels guilty then he says kissing isn't cheating. He said he never cheated but the way he kissed me seemed like he knew every way to make me melt. He is young also, only 30 and I'm a little older. He said we can hang out again but I have to promise to be good. Like its all me when he started it. So I invited him over on a day off just to see what he would say and he made an excuse. I just don't understand why he continues to stay in contact with me? I rarely text him first. If it's been a few days he text me and asks how I am or how my weekend is etc... I just can't stop thinking about him. Why all the sex talk and wanting to come over and once we made out he gets weird. Was I to ugly for him? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 I don't have an opinion on your looks or what the other guy's motivations are, but I do have a question that I think is a little more relevant: What's keeping you in your marriage? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author adrian77 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 My question was about why he changed. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 i really think you need to talk and open up to your husband,did you have intimacy before in your marriage? this guy who keeps texting you, he is married , it is wrong, you are married it is wrong,and i dont think it is because you are ugly this other married guy stopped seeing you, maybe he got found out...... and i feel for you, but if you continue to do this you are going to hurt more than just you ......talk to your husband ....seek some marriage counselling before it progresses to beyond kissing another man....i wish you well....deb Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 He doesn't want to pull the trigger on cheating, that's all. He's fighting it, rather than just walking away. Weak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Supernatural Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Once it gets weird.. It's hard to get it back to where it was. This situation would turn nasty before better. Peace em out. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 My question was about why he changed. Maybe he doesn't want to get caught by his wife or your husband? Link to post Share on other sites
TiredFamilyGuy Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 OP. You are in the fog. Your problem is not tiny ego, it's that you fantasise about cheating because you like the attention. As you said yourself 'the attraction and my ego I guess is the problem.' The guy seems to have decided not to become a cheater by taking it to the next level and having sex with you. Just as well as 'he is married and has a kid'. Limited credit to him here - he has a lot to lose and so may not want to f*ck everything up by having an affair - consider that? Your attention is in the wrong place. It should be in your marriage, which you describe as sexless and without intimacy, while also saying that you have sex with husband 2-4 times a month. No intimacy? You invest your attention and feelings outside your marriage and romanticise this flirtation while also displacing all responsibility onto your husband and the other man who 'started it'. If you want to act single, then divorce your husband first. Or tell him the truth that you made out with another guy. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 please leave this person alone. hes trying to do right by his family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author adrian77 Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 Leave him alone? He is continues to text me. I only respond to his texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 I would guess that the fantasy of what it would be like with you, was better than the reality - for whatever reason. Once the forbidden thing is gained, it loses its allure. The point is - he's sending strong signals that it won't go any further. If you were single and dating, I would tell you the same thing: he's just not that into you. The faster you accept it, the better it will be for you and your ego. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Was I to ugly for him? ..... Link to post Share on other sites
Dork Vader Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Then divorce your husband or go to therapy. I can tell you this much after my last experience with divorced women. I will NEVER date another person who is just recently divorced. Let a lone still married. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 maybe it's because.... and I maybe going out on a limb here...you're married.. just a wild guess Link to post Share on other sites
Natsu21 Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Cheating girls with entitlement issues? I've seen it all now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
James-London Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 OP - first of all, you can see that the other posters here are not very sympathetic with you. The reason is that you are asking for advice on why this other man is not giving you attention, when the MOST IMPORTANT thing here is why are you trying to cheat on your husband? Your cheating behaviour is completely unacceptable, and that is the issue that needs to be addressed before talking about what this other man wants!! I hope you get that. However, to address your question about the OM.... Basically, he is using a pick up technique that many guys are aware of. Basically, he is giving you lots of attention and then going cold. The result is that you don't know what he wants, and this is making you think about him more. When he says that you have to "promise to be good", this is another classic pick up technique. He is making it seem like you are the one who is chasing him, which puts him in a position of high value etc.... anyway - this is not an essay all about how guys pick up girls. The bottom line is - stop acted in a cruel and disgusting way towards your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
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