Struggling with longing to leave

[Hoptimum]

The positives:

1. I love her family. We all get along great and I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

 

2. She's good for me. She pushes me to be a better person.

 

3. We have a great life together, nice acreage in the country.

 

4. She's still my best friend. Kind of.

 

Issues I'm dealing with:

 

1. I gave up everything so we could live in her home town. She won't even visit mine. Not even once.

 

2. She's lost respect for me. Our incomes swapped after the move. She has the great job now and I the lesser one. I think it's gone to her head.

 

3. She insults me on a daily basis. In every way. At first I told her to stop, but now I just make jokes about how she was bullied as a kid. This makes her laugh. She's finally admitting now that being mean to me makes her feel great after a ****ty day at work.

 

4. She's left bruises on me. She's a tough girl, 6ft, National Guard. Sometimes when I hug her, she'll punch me. Usually, I pretend like it didn't happen. She's seen the bruises before and asked if she did that, I just say yep and leave it at that. I asked her to stop in the past and she never listens.

 

5. She no longer wants kids. Before I proposed, I made it very clear that I was ready to settle down and start a family. I wanted kids. She did too. The only reason I agreed to move was to have a better support network for having kids. Now 3 years later and she won't even talk to me about having kids.

 

6. Trust issues. Since she got back from her deployment, she's not only taking birth control but makes me use a condom every time we have sex. It's been like this for a year.

 

7. Lack of sex. We usually have sex once or twice a month. Three times If I'm lucky, no sex if the luck swings the other way. Is that normal? Late twenties, no kids. You'd think we'd be having it at least once a week.

 

8. Out of shape. I still work out and run often, but she's gained a considerable amount of weight since we hooked up.

 

9. Out of sync: I love camping and being active in general. She's become the complete opposite. All she wants to do is watch tv/ movies. I want more.

 

FINAL: Longing to leave. With all these issues combined, I keep finding myself longing to date other women. I want a girl who i can take camping, go on runs with, who is kind above all else and that I can start a family with.

 

I'm too ashamed to tell anyone I know how I really feel.

[jackslife]

Just leave. File for divorce. If you are scared of her (and a 6ft fat soldier is scary) then pack and leave when she's on duty.

 

You've posted a list of pro's and con's about your marriage. Your pro's frankly are pitiful. You can't stay with your wife because you get on well with her Mom and Dad. You shouldn't stay with her because you have a few acres of land.

 

As for the negatives. Well you've listed them. Doesn't want children, humiliates you, is physically and verbally abuses you. God, no wonder you want to leave and date other women.

 

No children! See a lawyer, get the hell out, move back home, start again.

 

What are you waiting for?

[anne1707]

OP

 

Imagine you read a post like this where the genders were reversed. You would have no hesitation in telling a woman to leave such a marriage. This an abusive relationship. Please leave as soon as possible. Your well being is more important than a plot of land.

[giotto]

Nice acreage in the country? Fantastic! All you need now is a secret lover...

[jackslife]

Just look again at your list of reasons for wanting to leave. Seriously what are you doing there?

 

People stay in unhappy marriages because of their children, because they've been together for years, because they are getting older and are afraid of a lonely future, because of the financial impact.

 

Really you have no absolutely no reason to stay and every reason to leave! Get the hell out, divorce and enjoy dating again!