When does sexual chat become cheating?

[DorothyGale]

I've posted on several forums and after a while when you get to know the other people somehow sexual innuendoes creep up or even straight out sexual talk.

 

I'm married and like to talk about my sex with my girlfriends who I've know for years. But if I write about it on a forum and a man answers my questions and I become aroused is that a form of cheating?

[Art_Critic]

If you are posting and becoming sexually aroused by a man's replying to you then while it isn't technically cheating you are setting yourself up for an EA with someone online, which IS cheating.... IMO

 

Why not just knock off posting about such things ? When I got married years ago I just stopped posting about certain things as soon as we got married.. mostly out of respect...

I will on occasion post some sex jokes but never personal info that might embarrass my wife if she were to ever read my posts...

[DorothyGale]

If you are posting and becoming sexually aroused by a man's replying to you then while it isn't technically cheating you are setting yourself up for an EA with someone online, which IS cheating.... IMO

 

Why not just knock off posting about such things ? When I got married years ago I just stopped posting about certain things as soon as we got married.. mostly out of respect...

I will on occasion post some sex jokes but never personal info that might embarrass my wife if she were to ever read my posts...

 

I understand what you're saying. Most of the time this stuff comes up when there is a group conversation and someone male or female brings up something sexual and I feel like I want to respond. I guess I should just drop out of the conversation when things start to go down that path.

[Appreciate]

Joking and banter about sexual topics is not cheating, IMO.

 

Getting aroused by sex talk from a man is cheating.

 

Getting aroused by erotic literature is not cheating.. it's when you involved another human interactively that you start to cross the line.

[thekid36]

I've posted on several forums and after a while when you get to know the other people somehow sexual innuendoes creep up or even straight out sexual talk.

 

I'm married and like to talk about my sex with my girlfriends who I've know for years. But if I write about it on a forum and a man answers my questions and I become aroused is that a form of cheating?

 

I honestly think that it depends on what your significant other constitutes as cheating. Because, that is where the definition sort of lies. It basically means doing something completely behind the back of your partner that he/she does not approve of. Everyone thinks about what that is in a different way. Some consider it only as what happens in person. Others think of it as only actual sex. Then there are those who feel that it means showing attention to anyone else or even being aroused outside of the relationship.

 

 

This is why honest and open communication at all times is so important. Do you think your significant other would classify it as teaching? If that same person were to do what you are, would it piss you off at all? These are the questions which you may want to ponder.

[DorothyGale]

Joking and banter about sexual topics is not cheating, IMO.

 

Getting aroused by sex talk from a man is cheating.

 

Getting aroused by erotic literature is not cheating.. it's when you involved another human interactively that you start to cross the line.

 

If I read an erotic book and get aroused it's definitively not cheating. But sometimes I get aroused by joking and banter (which I believe most do) is that cheating?

[DorothyGale]

I honestly think that it depends on what your significant other constitutes as cheating. Because, that is where the definition sort of lies. It basically means doing something completely behind the back of your partner that he/she does not approve of. Everyone thinks about what that is in a different way. Some consider it only as what happens in person. Others think of it as only actual sex. Then there are those who feel that it means showing attention to anyone else or even being aroused outside of the relationship.

 

 

This is why honest and open communication at all times is so important. Do you think your significant other would classify it as teaching? If that same person were to do what you are, would it piss you off at all? These are the questions which you may want to ponder.

 

Those are good...no...really freaking good questions.

 

And, I don't know how to explain this without feeling like i'm doing something wrong. I'll try doing it as non-sexy as possible.

 

I do like to sexually joke with people of the opposite sex. IRL - If I find a guy attractive and he jokes with me I get turned on...which is probably the point of the joke. If a guy who I'm not attracted to jokes with me in that manner I get a bit grossed out.

 

Online, if I'm involved in a conversation and sexual matter gets thrown into the mix, and nobody has their real life picture posted it seems as if all things are equal. But somehow I can sort of tell who I'd be attracted to in RL or at least some online personalities come across as more "sexy" than others. So, if an online personality who I feel an attraction to joins a conversation and specifically flirts with me I do get turned on. But what am I going to say to my husband? Someone online, that I've never seen in person made a comment and I got excited? He'd tell me that I should get off the forum, which isn't a bad idea but it's my main source of socialization. Plus, I enjoy the little flirtations, but I'm married so I'm not suppose to enjoy the attention.

[carhill]

OP, simple test. While your H is sitting there, post up and read those sexual messages back and forth and observe his reaction. If he smiles and gives the thumb's up, enjoy. If he frowns and says 'WTF?', well there's your sign that he finds your behavior inappropriate in your M. If you experience the latter, still continue, and hide the behavior from him, that's cheating.

 

Personally, when I was M, I didn't particularly care to hug and kiss my exW's girlfriends with the knowledge that they knew the size of my equipment and what was going on in our bedroom, or elsewhere in our M. I interacted with enough, in enough detail, to know some of what had been shared. I felt it inappropriate discussion and that marital business should remain within the M. Another man's boundaries might be completely different and far more liberal, as might your H's boundaries about you sharing sexual messages with other men. He's your primary point of contact. Good luck!

[DorothyGale]

OP, simple test. While your H is sitting there, post up and read those sexual messages back and forth and observe his reaction. If he smiles and gives the thumb's up, enjoy. If he frowns and says 'WTF?', well there's your sign that he finds your behavior inappropriate in your M. If you experience the latter, still continue, and hide the behavior from him, that's cheating.

 

Personally, when I was M, I didn't particularly care to hug and kiss my exW's girlfriends with the knowledge that they knew the size of my equipment and what was going on in our bedroom, or elsewhere in our M. I interacted with enough, in enough detail, to know some of what had been shared. I felt it inappropriate discussion and that marital business should remain within the M. Another man's boundaries might be completely different and far more liberal, as might your H's boundaries about you sharing sexual messages with other men. He's your primary point of contact. Good luck!

 

To tell you the truth I can't show him your because you mentioned "your package." He would be angry and tell me to get off the site. So does that mean I shouldn't talk to you anymore?

[twosadthings]

Anything you wouldn't do in your husband's company or that he wouldn't approve of is cheating and disrespectful to him and your marriage. You seem to have very poor or a lack of boundaries and that will ultimately ruin your relationship.

 

Just sayin',

 

Twosadthings

[Michelle ma Belle]

As I've mentioned before on other threads, I am a member of a erotica/sexual forum and have been for the past 4 years. It is basically a much naughtier version of Facebook with the added bonus of countless ways to interact with others including forums, chat rooms, IM etc.

 

I had some seriously wicked fun times on there and ironically enough, this is also where I met and fell in love with my current man with whom I've been in a serious RL relationship for almost 2 years now. Of course, hot sensual and sexual banter (among other things ) was all but expected not to mention fully intended to arouse even the most stoic of creatures

 

It's not unusual for men and women to find the opposite sex attractive even if/when they're happily bound to their partners. It's just human nature and healthy BUT if you're seeking out those interactions and acting on them in some way AND hiding it from your partner, THAT is a form of cheating in my humble opinion.

 

The whole online forum, particularly sexually charged forums and websites are slippery slopes and I caution you to tread VERY carefully. It can be and is VERY addictive and the anonymity that comes from being online versus physically touching another person often times skews one's perspective and ultimately f*cks with our ability to think clearly and logically.

 

Before you know it you're in a full blown EA and trading off time and energy that should be spent on your partner with your online partner. And that is not good for anyone in the long run.

 

Just my two cents on the subject.

 

Good luck.

Edited August 15, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[thekid36]

Those are good...no...really freaking good questions.

 

And, I don't know how to explain this without feeling like i'm doing something wrong. I'll try doing it as non-sexy as possible.

 

I do like to sexually joke with people of the opposite sex. IRL - If I find a guy attractive and he jokes with me I get turned on...which is probably the point of the joke. If a guy who I'm not attracted to jokes with me in that manner I get a bit grossed out.

 

Online, if I'm involved in a conversation and sexual matter gets thrown into the mix, and nobody has their real life picture posted it seems as if all things are equal. But somehow I can sort of tell who I'd be attracted to in RL or at least some online personalities come across as more "sexy" than others. So, if an online personality who I feel an attraction to joins a conversation and specifically flirts with me I do get turned on. But what am I going to say to my husband? Someone online, that I've never seen in person made a comment and I got excited? He'd tell me that I should get off the forum, which isn't a bad idea but it's my main source of socialization. Plus, I enjoy the little flirtations, but I'm married so I'm not suppose to enjoy the attention.

 

 

First of all, you are in no shape or form on trial. All of us have different opinions both on here and off. Part of what makes us who we are. Hearing other points of view which encourage us to think can only be helpful going forward. It is also quite normal to be sexual!

 

 

I think you may have to just have a general discussion with your husband. Not necessarily in which you tell him anything specific. Just a conversation in which you get a definitve answer as to what he constitutes as cheating. You cannot completely assume what he will say in advance. Even if you are almost positive already. You need to let him answer on his own. So that you will have all the facts going forward.

 

 

Once you know how he feels, then the decision is your own. In relation to how you choose to proceed. Just as a side note. Do you know what the reason is that you enjoy all of this outside attention? Are you not getting enough satisfaction from your other half in or out of the bedroom?

[DorothyGale]

As I've mentioned before on other threads, I am a member of a erotica/sexual forum and have been for the past 4 years. It is basically a much naughtier version of Facebook with the added bonus of countless ways to interact with others including forums, chat rooms, IM etc.

 

I had some seriously wicked fun times on there and ironically enough, this is also where I met and fell in love with my current man with whom I've been in a serious RL relationship for almost 2 years now. Of course, hot sensual and sexual banter (among other things ) was all but expected not to mention fully intended to arouse even the most stoic of creatures

 

It's not unusual for men and women to find the opposite sex attractive even if/when they're happily bound to their partners. It's just human nature and healthy BUT if you're seeking out those interactions and acting on them in some way AND hiding it from your partner, THAT is a form of cheating in my humble opinion.

 

The whole online forum, particularly sexually charged forums and websites are slippery slopes and I caution you to tread VERY carefully. It can be and is VERY addictive and the anonymity that comes from being online versus physically touching another person often times skews one's perspective and ultimately f*cks with our ability to think clearly and logically.

 

Before you know it you're in a full blown EA and trading off time and energy that should be spent on your partner with your online partner. And that is not good for anyone in the long run.

 

Just my two cents on the subject.

 

Good luck.

 

I know what you mean. I use to play Second Life and ultimately had to kill off my avi because the game was just too addictive. I didn't have an emotional affair but there was lots of flirting going on but I think I was more reserved than most.

[DorothyGale]

First of all, you are in no shape or form on trial. All of us have different opinions both on here and off. Part of what makes us who we are. Hearing other points of view which encourage us to think can only be helpful going forward. It is also quite normal to be sexual!

 

 

I think you may have to just have a general discussion with your husband. Not necessarily in which you tell him anything specific. Just a conversation in which you get a definitve answer as to what he constitutes as cheating. You cannot completely assume what he will say in advance. Even if you are almost positive already. You need to let him answer on his own. So that you will have all the facts going forward.

 

 

Once you know how he feels, then the decision is your own. In relation to how you choose to proceed. Just as a side note. Do you know what the reason is that you enjoy all of this outside attention? Are you not getting enough satisfaction from your other half in or out of the bedroom?

 

My husband knew I used to play Second Life and he'd even take my avi for a stroll. He'd pick up all kinds of weird stuff and take her to nasty places. LOL. But he was very watchful over the game. I had a very good male friend on the game who was extremely respectful of my husband.

 

But my husband wasn't fond of the writers site and the attention I got. He didn't tell me to take my book down but he also wasn't thrilled with the idea of men flirting with me.

 

I don't go out of my way to get attention from men but I happen to like it. I think everyone likes to know they are desirable.

[thekid36]

My husband knew I used to play Second Life and he'd even take my avi for a stroll. He'd pick up all kinds of weird stuff and take her to nasty places. LOL. But he was very watchful over the game. I had a very good male friend on the game who was extremely respectful of my husband.

 

But my husband wasn't fond of the writers site and the attention I got. He didn't tell me to take my book down but he also wasn't thrilled with the idea of men flirting with me.

 

I don't go out of my way to get attention from men but I happen to like it. I think everyone likes to know they are desirable.

 

 

Flirting is just something which again is open to individual interpretation. I personally think it suggests that someone is missing something from his/her life. That he/she is seeking out some form of validation. Whether it is directly sought after or if it indirectly comes as a result of daily interactions.

 

 

Those who do not have a partner should be free to flirt freely. The issue is different when involved with someone you are committed to. So opening myself up to the opposite opinion again. One should not choose to flirt if your partner constitutes it as cheating. Whether you feel like it actually is on your end or not. It all boils down to mutual respect and complete trust.

 

 

I do totally get that you enjoy feeling desirable. It is just that this prolific possibility of being desired by multiple men should not come at the expense of your other half. Being desired by your main person should be more than enough. At least ideally if nothing else.

 

 

The only wrench is that if he is okay with you flirting a little with others, then it is no longer considered as cheating. This is why it depends on the specific people involved I think. Both opinions should count and then there needs to be an agreed upon solution which works out.

 

 

If he does not like that you are flirting, then you may need to either stop or consider the relationship once again as a whole. Some may come out and accuse him as being controlling. Or that flirting is simply harmless and thus a part of life which one should learn to accept. This simply does not fly with me at all. It needs to be about mutual respect in realizing that not one single one of us is the same. You have to make due with what exists within each specific situation.

[DorothyGale]

Flirting is just something which again is open to individual interpretation. I personally think it suggests that someone is missing something from his/her life. That he/she is seeking out some form of validation. Whether it is directly sought after or if it indirectly comes as a result of daily interactions.

 

 

I do totally get that you enjoy feeling desirable. It is just that this prolific possibility of being desired by multiple men should not come at the expense of your other half. Being desired by your main person should be more than enough. At least ideally if nothing else.

 

 

 

I'm a fan of monogamy and know that that is the lifestyle that suits me best but I still crave some validation from other men. That statement alone will probably get me some bad reviews but it's the truth. Maybe it's because I suffer from depression and when someone flirts with me it gives me a "feel good" jolt. IDK.

 

I keep myself pretty well hidden away so this attention is very much in check. I don't have a FB account and even though I wear dresses when out in public I don't wear makeup or go to places were I'd be alone in a room with a man. So when I do have brief flirtations they are just that: Brief.

 

I don't want to hurt my husband in any way because he's a good man who loves me very much.

[thekid36]

I'm a fan of monogamy and know that that is the lifestyle that suits me best but I still crave some validation from other men. That statement alone will probably get me some bad reviews but it's the truth. Maybe it's because I suffer from depression and when someone flirts with me it gives me a "feel good" jolt. IDK.

 

I keep myself pretty well hidden away so this attention is very much in check. I don't have a FB account and even though I wear dresses when out in public I don't wear makeup or go to places were I'd be alone in a room with a man. So when I do have brief flirtations they are just that: Brief.

 

I don't want to hurt my husband in any way because he's a good man who loves me very much.

 

The only review at the end of each day which truly matters though is your own. There are bound to be those on here who give you opinions which completely go against yours. None of us can walk in your shoes nor make the final decision going forward. All we can do is interpret the information we have and then offer the best advice possible.

 

 

Depression is not a fun daily partner. It can most likely make you focus so much on one specific thing within your life. So as to stand above all else. Especially when it comes to feeling excited about yourself.

 

 

I could be wrong but it sort of sounds as if you are putting quite a bit of worth into how much flirting you receive. It is more than your right to do this of course. There needs to perhaps be a better or at least balanced way which encourages you to feel just as desired. Nothing wrong at all with wanting to feel worthy. Just different ways to go about doing so is all. Does not all have to revolve around how many men give you attention. Maybe something to consider a little at the very least.

 

 

So much focus is being placed upon the flirting that there's even the chance it may start to consume you even more. Especially if it is something you are more actively trying to avoid. I am worried this may already be the case if you are thinking about what to wear while out in public.

[DorothyGale]

The only review at the end of each day which truly matters though is your own. There are bound to be those on here who give you opinions which completely go against yours. None of us can walk in your shoes nor make the final decision going forward. All we can do is interpret the information we have and then offer the best advice possible.

 

 

Depression is not a fun daily partner. It can most likely make you focus so much on one specific thing within your life. So as to stand above all else. Especially when it comes to feeling excited about yourself.

 

 

I could be wrong but it sort of sounds as if you are putting quite a bit of worth into how much flirting you receive. It is more than your right to do this of course. There needs to perhaps be a better or at least balanced way which encourages you to feel just as desired. Nothing wrong at all with wanting to feel worthy. Just different ways to go about doing so is all. Does not all have to revolve around how many men give you attention. Maybe something to consider a little at the very least.

 

 

So much focus is being placed upon the flirting that there's even the chance it may start to consume you even more. Especially if it is something you are more actively trying to avoid. I am worried this may already be the case if you are thinking about what to wear while out in public.

 

I appreciate that you're responding in a non-judgmental manner. It's refreshing. I left one forum because I spoke about a topic that enraged others and had to leave. I don't try to stir the pot; I simply like to discuss issues that either bother me or are on my mind. I try my best not to judge others as well.

 

Yes, I admit getting attention from men does make me feel good. I don't know how it makes other women feel because I can only speak from my own perspective. There might be an internal compulsion to make sure if my mate leaves me I can still attract another mate. I'm not a scientist so I couldn't say for sure.

 

I don't think I'm in danger of becoming consumed by wanting this attention but you never know, do ya?

[LuckyLady13]

DorothyGale, think back to these situations you're wondering about and put your guy into them talking to women. The exact conversations you had and situations you were in. How would you feel about it?

[DorothyGale]

DorothyGale, think back to these situations you're wondering about and put your guy into them talking to women. The exact conversations you had and situations you were in. How would you feel about it?

 

I understand your point.

[todreaminblue]

my ex didnt like me writing to any guy period.....i used to post on a poetry site......and the poems that i wrote that were sensual were about him.....and i would show him the sites i was on and what i wrote ...only when i developed an emotional attachment to a guy did i start to hide what i was writing.....and it wasn't on the poetry site it was a on a forum.....it started out as just fun but started to go to warm feelings......my ex picked it up quickly and i told him the truth and stopped all contact it had just started to go sexual.....and i was conflicted.....easy to spot i become very quiet....i certainly dont laugh as much.....and i learned a lesson......it just isnt right when you are with someone to seek attention sexual or otherwise from men.....same goes for the other side.....

 

i dont think or feel most guys would want their gfs or wives talking sexually to other men.....and that includes writing sex......more when its one on one i guess than in a public forum...what another poster said about being open in front of the guy write what you would if he isnt around and if he bites your head off i guess he doesnt like it and if get your head back you dotn write that stuff again.......its sort of subjective and depends on the couple ....but mostly the guy if he doesnt like it and it makes him uncomfortable or her uncomfortable in regards to the relationship .....it wouldnt be good...if he doesnt mind and its all out in the open then its ok...if you are hiding what you write ...well its wrong........deb

[DorothyGale]

my ex didnt like me writing to any guy period.....i used to post on a poetry site......and the poems that i wrote that were sensual were about him.....and i would show him the sites i was on and what i wrote ...only when i developed an emotional attachment to a guy did i start to hide what i was writing.....and it wasn't on the poetry site it was a on a forum.....it started out as just fun but started to go to warm feelings......my ex picked it up quickly and i told him the truth and stopped all contact it had just started to go sexual.....and i was conflicted.....easy to spot i become very quiet....i certainly dont laugh as much.....and i learned a lesson......it just isnt right when you are with someone to seek attention sexual or otherwise from men.....same goes for the other side.....

 

 

It's funny I see all of this sexual banter going on in forums and I like joining in because I can usually come up with something witty and make people laugh. But some guys post their picture and if it's cute and they flirt with me I get aroused.

 

I think what you went through is soooooooooo common now. Of course if you write sexual poetry and a guy begins to connect to it and (somehow) you know that guy is cute how can you not get worked up???

 

When I had my book on the writers site part of the game to get to the Editors Desk was to get people to back your book. So in order for them to back your book you had to have a strong presence on the forum. However, unless you made sexual comments it was hard to get noticed. So, it did start like that for me. And most of the guys weren't attractive so even if they flirted I was safe.

 

My husband knew about the sexy threads I posted but for some reason didn't seem interested in reading them. I would have read them. But mostly it was a bunch of women talking about kinky sex. LOL. Then we'd talk about other things like cooking and gardening. But men read the tread and would join in. I'll tell you as soon as that thread got popular my book got backed like crazy. It was a real high. I got worried because once you start talking sexy it sort of takes a life of it's own and I was saying crap I don't even know if I meant. I liked the attention. I liked that my book was doing well. It was crazy. When I saw I was becoming addicted to the site like I was to Second Life I ripped down my book. I was close to the Editors Desk but my book wasn't ready, so ripping it down didn't bother me. Right now, this is the only forum I'm on. I like Love Shack because nobody can private message me, therefore, it prevents anything from getting too personal.

Edited August 16, 2014 by DorothyGale

[thekid36]

I appreciate that you're responding in a non-judgmental manner. It's refreshing. I left one forum because I spoke about a topic that enraged others and had to leave. I don't try to stir the pot; I simply like to discuss issues that either bother me or are on my mind. I try my best not to judge others as well.

 

Yes, I admit getting attention from men does make me feel good. I don't know how it makes other women feel because I can only speak from my own perspective. There might be an internal compulsion to make sure if my mate leaves me I can still attract another mate. I'm not a scientist so I couldn't say for sure.

 

I don't think I'm in danger of becoming consumed by wanting this attention but you never know, do ya?

 

 

I tend to think that more actually flirt than do not. In one form or another at least. Just based on the fact that so many look at it as nothing other than harmless fun. Guess I am one of those who is not really that fun! The chances of coming upon one who does is basically doubled if you end up browsing social forms. The opportunity to do so is still going to be out there no matter where you head. I know that the attention from someone interesting turns you on. Not always easy to avoid arousal when someone or something we consider sexy comes our way.

 

 

My own opinion is that being within a relationship with someone opens up a whole new set of rules. This includes with matters related to arousal. Ones which need to be mutually agreed upon by both parties. Since each person and situation is different. Without this agreement one is opening up for at least the possibility of problems to occur.

 

 

Just as a point to ponder based on something you have said. There is the chance that once you have enough posts on this site that an option exists to both send and receive personal messages. I just wanted you to be aware of that going forward. There is no need to necessarily try to avoid things because of something specific. A chance to flirt and have fun will always be upon the horizon. Whether you block things out or not. The only one who can really stop things from getting too personal is you.

[DorothyGale]

I tend to think that more actually flirt than do not. In one form or another at least. Just based on the fact that so many look at it as nothing other than harmless fun. Guess I am one of those who is not really that fun!

 

Hmmmm....not sure if I believe that. But that's your business and you have nothing to prove to me.

 

Last night my mom took me and my husband to dinner and when we walked in I saw an attractive man smiling at me as he was walking out. I knew he found me attractive from that "hungry" stare men use. The interaction lasted but a second but left me with a good feeling.

 

I'm working on letting go of my sense of worthiness from my outer package which in time will dissipate anyway. My looks have been a good survival tool that I could always rely upon when all else fails.

 

I really don't get out much and I limit my social networking by killing accounts when my posting gets excessive. Maybe my flirting is a backup plan if my mate leaves me? Or maybe, it's just something that gives me joy? In any case, I do spend a lot of time considering the feelings of the people I love and try my best not to do anything that would cause them harm.

[tnimbus]

Hmmmm....I hesitate here to comment for fear of sounding judgemental, but I see you doing some of the same things I did that ended up in an online EA that got wayyyyyyyyyy out of control and scarred me badly. So..I don't judge, people have to make their way through life and that can be hard and lonely sometimes...but I will give you some tough love that a couple of my true friends, online and off, tried to give me. It's up to you what to do, no one can live your life but you...if something goes bad though, you will know that someone tried to wave a red flag. I hope that doesn't happen.

1. STOP...just STOP it with the sexy chat. Your gut is telling you this already, and that's why you're questioning it and trying to find a way to make it "acceptable."

2. Like you, I write for a lot of my living, it's a profession that involves a lot of time alone, and these days, a lot of time on a computer. All that alone time can mess with one's head, and one's social skills and interactions. Believe me, I get it. I do!! When online interactions became your main way, or only way, of socializing, online people become imbued with traits that you want them to have...especially with someone who is creative...*MARITIME WARNING*...you're seeing people how "you want them to be", not how "they really are"....including yourself. GET OFF THE COMPUTER FOR AWHILE!! INTERACT WITH THE REAL WORLD!! Even if it's hard, do it...as a creative person, and a living, breathing human, the real world interactions will help give you perspective and connection.

3. FACE YOURSELF THROUGH TRUE ALONE TIME...I don't say this lightly, it's hard, very, very hard to face one's own weaknesses and fears. The only way to do it is to sit with yourself and look inside. You need to figure out why you seem to need so much outside sexual validation to feel good...and I don't think it makes you feel good for very long, or you wouldn't need it so much. Chatting on the internet can become an avoidance mechanism for dealing with something that can only be worked through if it's faced.

4. Have a very in-depth talk with your husband about these things. Unfortunately, internet social habits aren't discussed within partnerships...and people have VERY DIFFERENT views on what is acceptable and unacceptable with online "friends." DEFINE CLEAR BOUNDARIES!! In your real life, and your internet life.

 

I'm not trying to sound horrid, or harsh, or anything like that. I apologize if it comes off that way....I've been there though, and I've seen a few other people there too. The internet can be a great way to find info, communicate, and connect....BUT, if one isn't aware, or careful, especially creative people, it can take over your life..and your good judgement...like anything else, the internet..and the people you come across on it, has to be put in perspective, and kept in balance with the other facets of your life.

This has turned into a rant, sorry...I wish you the best of luck.