Problems with my husband's ego

[sugar_g721]

I'm 41 with a 24-year-old daughter and a son who is 19. In the past few weeks, my husband’s had a sudden change of personality – everything revolves around his ego and making it bigger.

He won’t do certain tasks, whether at home or work, claiming, “It ain’t good for my ego”, and he even has said to colleagues and some of our friends at a house party: “My ego is bigger than your ego.”

Now his boss is threatening to suspend him because of his behaviour. It’s got so bad we’ve had a backlash on Facebook.

His social media pages are full of egotistical rantings – nothing sinister or illegal, just pages and pages of egotism.

I’m really worried it could affect any future employment (he’s currently working, but his contract expires in six months). I don’t know what’s causing it - it’s not drugs, as he’s really anti-drugs and he’s not on any medication.

Speaking to him calmly over dinner one night didn’t get anywhere. I’m so worried. I also have an important business function to attend – well, a celebratory party, in which partners and children are invited – and I’m worried my husband could embarrass me.

[Philosoraptor]

This sounds ridiculous. When he tells you something isn't good for his ego you need to remind him that not doing something isn't good for your family.

 

If one wants a good ego then one should do the taskings correctly the first time.

[jackslife]

Odd one this.

 

It's as if he's read a self help book, or seen a TV programme and completely converted to a new way of living. It reminds me of an episode of family guy or the simpsons when Peter/Homer become obsessed with something regardless of the consequences.

 

Sadly this is your life not a cartoon. I think you need to keep confronting him on this, tell him that his behaviour is badly affecting his career and his marriage.

 

I wouldn't invite him to the works bash either. Just take the children, if he plays his face you can tell him why. Whether it's converting to a new religion or having a complete change of lifestyle, this is affecting the marriage and if he can't or won't change you'll need to seriously start looking at your options.

[compulsivedancer]

I would have him checked for a brain tumor. I know that sounds extreme, but if it's affecting work and he doesn't care, a sudden personality change like this could be a sign of something affecting his brain.

 

Or it's just a midlife crisis.

[Lecturer]

I would have him checked for a brain tumor. I know that sounds extreme, but if it's affecting work and he doesn't care, a sudden personality change like this could be a sign of something affecting his brain.

 

Or it's just a midlife crisis.

 

I was thinking midlife crisis too. Or something happened in his life that he wasn't able to cope with, and this has become his answer.

 

I hadn't thought of something medical like a brain issue, but I suppose that is possible.

[Elliotte]

I second the brain tumor theory, although you haven't told us what he was like before this, I assume he was pretty normal and this ego thing is completely out of the blue? No build up whatsoever? Have you been able to get out of him why the sudden change?

[jackslife]

... or a nervous breakdown.

 

Either way it sounds like he needs a Doctor of some kind. Maybe you should contact your family Doctor and discuss the symptoms with him. Could be more serious than you think.

[oldshirt]

Sudden changes in personality, behavior, emotional control, demeanor etc are always caused by something including very serious and even potentially fatal medical conditions.

 

Have this thoroughly investigated.

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm 41 with a 24-year-old daughter and a son who is 19. In the past few weeks, my husband’s had a sudden change of personality

sugar_g721, everyone is obviously keying in on this part of your post.

 

Is it accurate? Today is July 24th - June 15th he wasn't like this ???

 

The change has been that sudden?

 

Mr. Lucky

[sugar_g721]

It's only been like this for 6 weeks, and he's told me last night why he's become so egotistical - without any prompting from me, incidentally, it was just an open admission/apology of sorts, he said he'd flown to California for a confidence course, he'd admitted paying for coaching from the "Seduction Community" to try and re-invigorate our love life ; when he said he had a business trip he admitted the business trip was a cover story.

He said he'd become obsessed with the part in the "seduction community" about how to boost your ego and self-esteem, and wanted to do it to make himself more confident.

Now I know why, at least it's taken away some worries, but to fly all the way to California for a convention on the Seduction Community - well, that explains it somewhat.

Edited July 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Mr. Lucky]

he'd admitted paying for coaching from the "Seduction Community" to try and re-invigorate our love life ; when he said he had a business trip he admitted the business trip was a cover story.

Have read about that organization and website, pretty much a narcissistic load of crap about manipulating women in the interest of "getting some". Not surprised you were put off by his strategies.

 

Mr. Lucky

Edited July 26, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[HereNorThere]

If we're going to the medical diagnoses route, this has all the hallmarks of a manic episode. We're not doctors, but it's the sudden change in demeanor that's scary.

 

Mania is mostly associated with bi polar disorder, but you would already know if he has that by now.

 

Even small changes in blood flow can cause a persons personality to change. Talk him into a physical just to sure.

 

Or you could drop him off at Charlie Sheen's mansion. Winning, duh!

[Poppygoodwill]

The seduction community is not geared toward making marriages stronger, if you know what I mean. In fact, it's geared toward making men 'playas'. The fact that he went there in secret, paid for it in secret and wasn't intending to tell you....I would be very vigilant if I was you, to be sure there's not more to it.

Edited July 26, 2014 by Poppygoodwill

[chelsea2011]

It's only been like this for 6 weeks, and he's told me last night why he's become so egotistical - without any prompting from me, incidentally, it was just an open admission/apology of sorts, he said he'd flown to California for a confidence course, he'd admitted paying for coaching from the "Seduction Community" to try and re-invigorate our love life ; when he said he had a business trip he admitted the business trip was a cover story.

He said he'd become obsessed with the part in the "seduction community" about how to boost your ego and self-esteem, and wanted to do it to make himself more confident.

Now I know why, at least it's taken away some worries, but to fly all the way to California for a convention on the Seduction Community - well, that explains it somewhat.

 

You sound oddly calm about this situation. Did he have serious confidence problems before? Very weird.

[Tbisb74]

It's only been like this for 6 weeks, and he's told me last night why he's become so egotistical - without any prompting from me, incidentally, it was just an open admission/apology of sorts, he said he'd flown to California for a confidence course, he'd admitted paying for coaching from the "Seduction Community" to try and re-invigorate our love life ; when he said he had a business trip he admitted the business trip was a cover story.

He said he'd become obsessed with the part in the "seduction community" about how to boost your ego and self-esteem, and wanted to do it to make himself more confident.

Now I know why, at least it's taken away some worries, but to fly all the way to California for a convention on the Seduction Community - well, that explains it somewhat.

So he's lied to you, and all this utter Bullington Shaftesbury was a ploy to apparently look the big man in your eyes and be seductive? I sincerely hope you told him that (a) lying to you, for whatever reason, is utterly unacceptable and that (b) hopefully he can now see that this behaviour is not only total garbage to you, but is also doing him no good professionally - and that he had better cut it out now, and quit being a jackass; Because if he so much utters a peep at your works convention about how big his ego is, he can use the spare room until he gets his Sh*itzu together once and for all. Rant over!