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Wife hates doing anything without me


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e.g. She's a doctor and a few years ago the pharmaceutical industry got barred from buying spouses meals anymore so doctors are not allowed to bring their spouses to these "educational" fancy dinners anymore. But she wants to go, so I have to go with her or she throws a a fit even though it's very uncomfortable. The other attendees all know one another and me and know I'm not supposed to be there, and the hosts always want to ask about degrees and places of work.

 

I'll accompany her cross country to a conference and she'll try to drag me past guards even though they're checking all the passes. She'll decide she wants to go to a club in NYC and try to get me past the doormen while I'm wearing shorts. It doesn't work and I really dread to make a scene and get kicked out, but she doesn't seem to care that this sort of thing wears on me heavily.

 

At home, she'll want to watch a tv drama in her native language with no English subtitles and make me sit with her even though I can't understand a word of it. When she goes to sleep I have to put her to bed or she can't sleep.

 

Any advice on how to get her to enjoy time by herself so that I don't have to expose myself to rejection or boredom constantly?

Edited by wilsonr35
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Grumpybutfun

It isn't your responsibility to hold your wife's hand throughout her life. It isn't your responsibility to get her to enjoy things without you. Unfortunately your acquiescing to her every demand has made her impossible so now you have to sit down and tell her there are things as a husband You am not required to do.

 

You have your own life and interests and those are the things you should follow. She is codependent on you and it is very unhealthy. You have stopped being her husband and have turned into her gays best friend. Stop. Just tell her no. No is perfectly acceptable in a healthy relationship. If she goes berserk on you or throws a temper tantrum get her into therapy ASAP because she is unhinged.

 

I have been happily married for a long, long time and we do things without each other all the time. She just went to a writers retreat in England and I just did the Ironman Triathlon in New Zealand. We are married, not Siamese twins. Your wife's behavior is disturbing and you are accepting some pretty messed up conditions to be with her. Stop enabling her to be a brat.

Best,

Grumps

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I envy you! I have been in similar situations with my partner, and I enjoyed just being with her. Do you love being with your wife? Trust me, if this was Angelina Jolie you would enjoy it. Another question, do you truly love your wife?

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