Woman has higher sex drive

[countryrider13]

I'm engaged but would like to hear from married couples. I seem to have more of a sex drive than my fiancé. He moves in next week so things may change. But currently due to jobs and living seperatly we may go a week with out seeing each other. We normally have sex at least onece a day we see each other but not always. Last weekend we had sex Friday when he came over, none on sat. And before he left on Sunday. I wanted it Saturday, pulled his pants down and climbed on top of him (with my clothes still on) and he wasn't horney at all so it was a no go. He's also the first man I've been with that if his penis isn't touched it goes limp. But if I'm giving him oral, hand job, intercourse he can last forever, close to an hour sometimes.

 

I've spoke to him about this and he said he doesn't need sex everyday. He could go a couple days without having it and be fine. He said he's pushed it out of his mind since we weren't together through the week, and about 3-4 years ago it started that he doesn't need sex as often. (He's 32 years old)

 

So those of you married, how do you make your sex life work when there's two different sex drives? Do you eventually just learn to get it less frequently? Or maybe once he moves in it won't be an issue?

[Eivuwan]

I'm engaged but would like to hear from married couples. I seem to have more of a sex drive than my fiancé. He moves in next week so things may change. But currently due to jobs and living seperatly we may go a week with out seeing each other. We normally have sex at least onece a day we see each other but not always. Last weekend we had sex Friday when he came over, none on sat. And before he left on Sunday. I wanted it Saturday, pulled his pants down and climbed on top of him (with my clothes still on) and he wasn't horney at all so it was a no go. He's also the first man I've been with that if his penis isn't touched it goes limp. But if I'm giving him oral, hand job, intercourse he can last forever, close to an hour sometimes.

 

I've spoke to him about this and he said he doesn't need sex everyday. He could go a couple days without having it and be fine. He said he's pushed it out of his mind since we weren't together through the week, and about 3-4 years ago it started that he doesn't need sex as often. (He's 32 years old)

 

So those of you married, how do you make your sex life work when there's two different sex drives? Do you eventually just learn to get it less frequently? Or maybe once he moves in it won't be an issue?

 

Well, it sounds like a case in which you accommodate a bit to him and he a bit to you. Maybe he can get you off with toys on days when he doesn't feel like having normal sex.

[Cpt]

The best sex organ is the brain... need I say more?

[MidwestUSA]

You pulled his pants down and climbed on top of him (with your clothes on).

 

Is that foreplay? Maybe you'd get better results with seduction. Start from the time you wake up in the morning, and carry it thru the day, little things here and there. If you make it a task, it will become as pleasurable as doing the dishes.

 

 

And yes, some men need direct stimulation to remain hard. More so as they get older. And maybe he doesn't need it every day; so when you do have it, make sure it's mind blowing. We go every three to four days, because we're riding the high that long, and we completely exhaust ourselves.

 

 

Lastly, as Cpt said, the brain, the brain.

[Cpt]

You pulled his pants down and climbed on top of him (with your clothes on).

 

Is that foreplay? Maybe you'd get better results with seduction. Start from the time you wake up in the morning, and carry it thru the day, little things here and there. If you make it a task, it will become as pleasurable as doing the dishes.

 

 

And yes, some men need direct stimulation to remain hard. More so as they get older. And maybe he doesn't need it every day; so when you do have it, make sure it's mind blowing. We go every three to four days, because we're riding the high that long, and we completely exhaust ourselves.

 

 

Lastly, as Cpt said, the brain, the brain.

 

So this! ^

[haremmac]

Country,

I was like your fiancee although I can only dream of my wife having a drive like you. Having said that, When my wife would try to initiate I would deny deny deny. It got to the point where we had not had sex in several months and we were only in our mid 30s! We began to suffer greatly in all aspects of our relationship. She asked me to see a doctor as I was experiencing all kinds of issues like depression, low energy, low motivation, and it all began with no drive to have sex.

Long story short, it was discovered that I had the testosterone levels of a 90 year old man. I began treatments to get it to a level normal for my age and my life has completely changed. Now my wife can't keep up:) it's been a crazy couple of years for us and I am still learning, due to my condition, about all the effects low T had on my entire life. Physically I have never felt and looked better. Mentally I am more motivated and have endless energy and feel like my life is just starting! This has caused some negative mental issues that I won't get into as they are minimal but should be expected.

Please for yOur sake and your future life with your fiancee and for his health ask him to get his T levels checked. This may not be the reason for his low drive but if it is you and him will be so much more happy and fulfilled plus he is way to young to be experiencing this low drive. Please message me if you have any questions and post for any updates to your solutions to the low drive problem.

[central]

So those of you married, how do you make your sex life work when there's two different sex drives? Do you eventually just learn to get it less frequently? Or maybe once he moves in it won't be an issue?

 

The person with the lower drive (LD) is always going to be happier with their sex life than the person with the higher drive (HD), who is always going to be frustrated and unhappy. The LD person is getting all the sex they want all the time, while the HD person is always getting too little. The LD person can't understand why the HD isn't happy, and has very little incentive to change things - if they even try, it won't last.

 

There is NO solution to this (unless there is a treatable medical problem as the cause). You either live with it in constant longing for more sex, or you a) don't get married in the first place, or b) get divorced when you can no longer stand it. Also, once you move in together, there will be even less effort given to sex, because complacency sets in. And after a couple of years, most new relationships see a decline in sexual frequency - if you're in that two year window, you can only look forward to even less sex in the future.

 

This was the case with my ex, and our relationship - while long - was unsatisfying and the lack of intimacy eroded the relationship. I eventually divorced her (for other reasons also), and found someone with a closely matched libido. We have been very happy together for over 14 years.

Edited April 18, 2014 by central

[jwi71]

I'm engaged but would like to hear from married couples. I seem to have more of a sex drive than my fiancé. He moves in next week so things may change. But currently due to jobs and living seperatly we may go a week with out seeing each other. We normally have sex at least onece a day we see each other but not always. Last weekend we had sex Friday when he came over, none on sat. And before he left on Sunday. I wanted it Saturday, pulled his pants down and climbed on top of him (with my clothes still on) and he wasn't horney at all so it was a no go. He's also the first man I've been with that if his penis isn't touched it goes limp. But if I'm giving him oral, hand job, intercourse he can last forever, close to an hour sometimes.

 

I've spoke to him about this and he said he doesn't need sex everyday. He could go a couple days without having it and be fine. He said he's pushed it out of his mind since we weren't together through the week, and about 3-4 years ago it started that he doesn't need sex as often. (He's 32 years old)

 

So those of you married, how do you make your sex life work when there's two different sex drives? Do you eventually just learn to get it less frequently? Or maybe once he moves in it won't be an issue?

 

Its a red flag to me - sexual incompatibility.

He is telling you, bluntly, what your future is. To expect that to change is foolish. Yes, it may pick up some at first with the change of you two living together - but will quickly settle to the "norm" - which is apparently one time every few days.

 

If its a problem now - how do you expect it to NOT be a problem in the future?