Sexless Marriage, How to cope?

[Jeangenie]

Im new here but it helps me when I write and get things off my chest, I see the posts here are quite old so not sure if I will get a reply but hey, this is kind of therapy.

 

I have been married for 7 years together 4 years before marriage, Sex with my wife was always incredible, when we first met she was insatiable, she was like a porn star, if the position existed, if the method existed she would do it. She loved porn, she was regularly horny and when the need came on she would be over me like a rash, sexy undies the lot.

 

We did eventually get married and had a family but yet the sex continued and very steamy it was to but things were starting to go missing, no french kissing, oral receiving but I could still give and she loved it, lots of anal which she loved and there were times we would go through the night, start in the lounge a few times and then off to bed. It was fantastic.

 

As time went by things became limited, no nakedness, lights off, dont do that way, no oral giving and then reduced always to doggy style.

 

Last year came along and we did it 6 times all year, all in the same position once every few months and very restricted, sometimes it was just a little penetration and that was it, she told me to stop, lift her leg, ouch ouch, accidently touch her hair, ouch ouch, its to fast, ouch, I dont like you sweating, dont kiss, dont take my top off, im cold. 1 position, just me pounding away from behind, i dont like my breasts being touched, repeatedly asking if I was ready to come, no intimate holding, foreplay, kissing, just out of the bed, have a quick shower and goodnight.

 

I just cannot understand, without sounding arrogant, im good looking, not in bad shape, regularly showered and fresh, I never had any complaints in bed before, if I sweat in bed, it is only a little from my forehead, the radiators are on and Im doing all the hard work as the only position we do when we do have sex is me from behind as she lies on her side.

 

I havent kissed her properly in 6 years, now it is a friendly kiss on the cheek or little peck, not had oral sex in 3 years either way, prior to that I had not received oral in 4 as she only gave it as I was very stressed. I have not given her oral in around 4 years, which she used to love, no anal in 3, sometimes we would just do anal rather than vaginal. Thrown all her tights away which used to be a massive turn on for me, I just dont know why she wont sleep with me.

 

We both work from home and sometimes the opportunity arises when the house is quiet, a few years back she would be dragging me to the bedroom and now it is go away!!

 

Im always so horny, I dont like porn very much but now find myself always daily watching it, my wife is stunning, her body is fantastic and I dont only love her but absolutely lust over her!! all I want to do is grab her and absolutely give her the most passionate love making ever but if I did try to grab her and kiss her it would be Get off me!! i dont like it!!

 

She lets me touch her leg so I can relieve myself and now I think she is happy for me just to rub her foot and come, rather than do anything intimate.

 

I just dont know what to do, I want her so badly but she never wants to do anything, I cannot work because all i want to do is have sex and it is all I think about is having sex, I often contemplate visiting an escort as I crave physical intimacy, she thinks a quick jerk off is fine but its not, it solves nothing.

 

So frustrating, how do you guys manage without, coping etc..?

 

Thank you all for reading and hearing my vent!!

Edited April 1, 2014 by Jeangenie

[demrea]

have you asked her what changed? seems she is the only who can tell you that.

 

 

perhaps she feels that you have no other interest in her so she shut off the factory. perhaps she had a situation (assault) that has impacted her sexuality and has been embarrassed to tell you.

 

 

whatever it is, I think you need to ask her to spill the beans.

[Jeangenie]

have you asked her what changed? seems she is the only who can tell you that.

 

 

perhaps she feels that you have no other interest in her so she shut off the factory. perhaps she had a situation (assault) that has impacted her sexuality and has been embarrassed to tell you.

 

 

whatever it is, I think you need to ask her to spill the beans.

 

Hi, thanks for your reply, I have asked her many times and she simply says she does not want it, she has gone off it. Luckily there has not been any assault, but this has been going on for nearly 18 months. We work together so i know she isnt doing anything behind my back, She would rather update her facebook page than spend time with me. She blames me telling me I pressure her, I really do not, like any husband, wife etc, I just try touching her and she says no, thats it, no further, she blames me for always being horny and that pressures her!! Well of course Im horny I havent touched her in weeks and with her regularly dressed in lycra running gear it is quite easy to get turned on!! She really gives me hope then the slightest thing happens to make her angry, children playing up, client doesnt reply to her email etc.. and that is it. Only on Monday night did she say we would have sex, she actually said it to me, I didnt ask or say anything!! then she comes downstairs and starts yelling that she doesnt want it and she felt pressured!! but how on earth did I pressure her when she came out of the blue earlier that evening that she wanted to make love tonight!! Many times she asked me to massage her, which I did and sometimes with oil, I could see and feel even smell she was getting turned on but when I try to move onto her she goes mad and blames me for being horny!! How could anyone not be horny when giving a massage!! I really give up sometimes!! Im not demanding sex everynight! I make comments like anyone does, "You look beautiful" you are very sexy, stuff like that and she plays up to it and likes it, regularly posing in front of me. Im the sort of person that needs intimacy, touching, hugging, kissing and I consider the use of an escort but the guilt I would feel would overwhelm me!! Im also sometimes sleeping in a seperate room as she doesnt want me to touch her, just putting my arm around her, nothing sexyual or even trying. I actually think she enjoys being a d*ck tease but yet is so cold towards me!!

 

im just baffled!! I really am. Just dont know what to do.

[SolG]

Hi Jeangenie :-)

 

My xH and I ended up very much as you describe in your M. Started really hot, but slowly petered out over time until sex was virtually nonexistent.

 

I've done a lot of retrospective analysis of what went wrong. What I think happened with us was that following marriage, our daughter coming along, and the increasing demands of our respective careers progressing... we kind of lost ourselves as a couple. We were our jobs at work, and were parents at home. We didn't make time to be 'us'. No date nights, no late night intimate conversations, no romance, no fun, no spontaneous tokens of love or lust. We as a couple really ceased to exist and was subsumed by the rest of our lives.

 

Ultimately, I completely lost all attraction for him because I lost the connection. Sex became a chore. It's funny, but I would also use only the position that you describe your wife as now defaulting to. Because it meant I didn't have to look at him and try to fake an intimacy I didn't feel; and also that position takes minimal effort. I too would encourage him to come as soon as possible to get it over and done with quickly. In the end he stopped trying because my lack of enthusiasm made it not really worth the effort for him.

 

For us, the lack of sex was a symptom of bigger things missing between us. It was a sign that we didn't feed and sustain our relationship the way we should have to make it healthy. And we let that go on too long until it was no longer salvageable.

 

I'm not saying that this is the case for you! However, what is your marriage context like? Are you making the time to be alone and 'in love' and love one another apart from sex? Do you support each other in work and play, share household tasks, and regularly show your appreciation for one another in the ways that the recipient prefers? This may be an opportunity to take a quick health check on what can be improved, and improvements may in turn lead to a better sex life.

 

If everything is perfect... please disregard everything I've written!

 

Good luck.

[beatcuff]

...Sex became a chore. It's funny, but I would also use only the position that you describe your wife as now defaulting to. Because it meant I didn't have to look at him and try to fake an intimacy I didn't feel...

 

when my W and went into a 'slump' i noticed LOOKING BACK, right after the act she would jump up and go into the bathroom. there was no 'hanging out'.

 

what to do? you are going about it all wrong. typical Male you are looking at sex as the problem, its not, its a symptom. your entire M is the issue.

 

time for a serious discussion about M with her. BTW make sure there is plenty of time and both are well rested. do not mention sex in any fashion. i would guess she will give "we are roommates" speech.

 

an MC will help.

Edited April 2, 2014 by beatcuff
misspelling

[whirl3daway]

in this thread, of course you focused on the sex since this is your issue, but what do you LIKE and TREASURE about your wife other than her looks? you have made mention several times that you find her beautiful and attractive... but do you make her feel valued for other things? is she a good mother? does she clean the house well? does she cook well? does she listen and support you? - more importantly, do you tell her that you value her for these things? do you romance her?

 

it seems like she might feel like a piece of meat... or like you are only interested in her for the sex, but not anything else. that's just me assuming things, though.

[central]

There are three basic reasons why people lose interest in sex, and you've ruled one out, OP:

 

1) relationship issues, mainly lack of mutual appreciation and emotional closeness - they may not be at all obvious

2) hormonal changes (you'll need a hormone specialist/endocrinologist)

3) an emotional and/or physical affair

 

In many cases if this occurs within two or three years of the relationship starting, it can be that the person is naturally low drive, and until then has been coasting on the new relationship hormonal highs. This does not seem to apply.

 

Relationship issues can sometimes be figured out if you can both willingly talk about the problems, or with the help of a marriage counsellor. If she is unwilling to do so, then all you can do is change yourself to - hopefully - become more desirable, basically ignoring her and going on with your life. She may respond to the increasing coolness by warming up.

 

As a last resort, you can file for divorce - that alone is sometimes enough to prompt a passive agressive spouse to wake up and participate in making improvements, and if not, you can proceed with the divorce.

[Waverly]

What I think happened with us was that following marriage, our daughter coming along, and the increasing demands of our respective careers progressing... we kind of lost ourselves as a couple. We were our jobs at work, and were parents at home. We didn't make time to be 'us'. No date nights, no late night intimate conversations, no romance, no fun, no spontaneous tokens of love or lust. We as a couple really ceased to exist and was subsumed by the rest of our lives.

 

Ultimately, I completely lost all attraction for him because I lost the connection. Sex became a chore. It's funny, but I would also use only the position that you describe your wife as now defaulting to. Because it meant I didn't have to look at him and try to fake an intimacy I didn't feel; and also that position takes minimal effort. I too would encourage him to come as soon as possible to get it over and done with quickly. In the end he stopped trying because my lack of enthusiasm made it not really worth the effort for him.

 

For us, the lack of sex was a symptom of bigger things missing between us. It was a sign that we didn't feed and sustain our relationship the way we should have to make it healthy. And we let that go on too long until it was no longer salvageable.

 

THIS. x1000. My husband and I were never the most passionate couple with each other, but we did at least have a normal healthy sex life. Now, it is totally non-existent. It happened slowly, but started out for exactly the reasons that SolG described: we had kids, we both were busy establishing ourselves at work, we bought a house....we never went out without the kids, and never spent any time together as a couple, beyond watching tv together for an hour before going to sleep at night.

 

Like I said, it happened slowly, but over time, we grew apart. There were other issues, and some resentments started to grow on my part, but it ended up with us just never having sex anymore. I lost my attraction to him, I lost my investment in the marriage, and I ultimately ended up having an affair. Things weren't overtly bad in the sense that we didn't actually fight a lot; we just had no connection to each other. I'm not saying that's what's going on in your marriage, but it's a really slippery slope.

[cocorico]

Jeangenie, I'm picking up that it's a problem for you - but not so much for her. Is this correct? She'd simply prefer less (or no) sex, while for you, this is a problem?

 

Or, are there other problems with the M that she's unhappy about (perhaps not expressing directly) and thus feels a loss of intimacy towards you, which is manifesting through her loss of interest in you sexually?

 

If it's the first scenario, perhaps you should read up the breads of JamesM, the resident sexless M saint ( I shouldn't tease, but that man has the patience of Job, as well as being positive and constructive - his threads are worth reading).

 

If it's the latter, perhaps some relationship counselling can open up the space where you can communicate in a "lower stakes" / more contained environment, where she may feel safer to explain to you what's going on for her, what she's missing and needing, and you can let her know how her lack of interest in you sexually is affecting you, to work out how to get things back on track.

 

From what you have described, she's feeling (or projecting) a good deal of physical discomfort. That's obviously a turn off for both of you. Have you ruled out any physical causes that might be behind this?

[Black Knight]

Hi, I read your article and it may seem like more is going on than just your wife is holding out on you. I think the core issue may be communication. You stated that your wife is now cold towards you so I imagine that you and your wife don't communicate that often. When communication breaks down it is hard to know what the other is thinking and vis` versa, this may be the key to what is going on. I had some similiar issues when I was married and I had no clue that the communciation was totally broke down but yet I still thought that sex was going to be available. Well, it was far and in between and I was wanted to be physical without giving my wife what she needed and that was communication and reassurance. Would your wife be open to counseling and would you be open for counseling? IT will help tremendously believe me I know. Try it, don't focus on the sex but focus on repairing what is broken and the sex will return. I hope this helps some.

God Bless

[pteromom]

I didnt ask or say anything!! then she comes downstairs and starts yelling that she doesnt want it and she felt pressured!! but how on earth did I pressure her when she came out of the blue earlier that evening that she wanted to make love tonight!!

 

She didn't say YOU pressured her. She said she felt pressured. Could be that she felt pressured by the expectation that sex is something she HAS to do.

 

I actually think she enjoys being a d*ck tease but yet is so cold towards me!!

It's possible. It's also possible that she DOES get horny and DOES want to connect with you, but she dreads the consequences of that. If she gives you something you want, do you show her you are satisfied and happy? Do you make little cutting comments about her not wanting sex or the things she doesn't want to do? If so, this may have turned into a battle of wills.

 

You need to have a very calm and rational conversation with her when she knows you don't want sex... like the morning after you just had it.

 

Tell her that you understand she isn't into sex right now, but that keeping the intimacy and connection in your relationship is very important to you. Ask her if there is something you do or have done that is standing in the way of her feeling connected to you (and LISTEN, don't get defensive or angry!) Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her be more loving with you, even if more sex isn't involved (don't worry - intimacy leads to sex. You have to start with re-building the connection, not sex.) Ask her if she has ideas to try to strengthen your connection - not SEX, but ways to become more romantic and loving with each other.

 

Maybe you won't get wild and crazy sex back, but you may get loving reciprocal sex back. That needs to be your goal, not which acts you do or don't do.

 

Is she open to taking a trip together somewhere? Being at a hotel is always a good opportunity to let go of responsibility and have fun. Again though, don't worry about whether you'll have sex... make CONNECTION the goal. Sex follows connection for most women, not the other way around.

[barbwire911]

This is exactly my issue too. Sexless marriage. And not much else.

 

I dated my partner for 3 years (Oct. 2006-July 2009) and we married in 2009 July. We were only really decent for about a year of dating and then he started losing his sex drive. He said that had happened in his previous relationships. I was 31 and he was 38. We are now 39 and 46. So maybe since we married we have had sex all of 20 times. We have been living in separate rooms for about most of our marriage and we do not talk or communicate or do anything together.

 

In 2013 05 I met a male co-worker and we became friends for a few months. We were both in troubled marriages and we bonded. We had a turbulent affair. He has since left his wife and accepted his marriage failed. We are no longer on speaking terms sadly as he has some problems overall with interpersonal relationships (diagnosis of depression, OCD, anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder). So I was really hurt by all the delusions he had as well as the constant silent treatment when he was upset, etc. So for 6 weeks we have not spoken however he has come and gone before so may come back but that is not the issue.

 

I am afraid to be alone but my friends and our therapist as well as our individual therapists think it may be good for me to move out temporary to my own place nearby for us to get some space. I really do not think we are in love anymore however my spouse insists he is but he also

fears aloneness too. Only thing we bond over is the 2 dogs who I would take as they are mine from prior to us meeting. My spouse is not a communicator but also he does not want to work out and just has gotten lazy and less hygiene oriented than before in terms of his appearance. I am into fitness and we are just overall different. he still showers and everything but we do not even have any physical relationship. Even on vacations we have separate rooms in the condos and separate beds in the hotel.

 

I know the fact I had an affair upsets him but I was craving desire and attention. Now the affair was the cherry on the sundae as the issues existed way before the affair but the affair did not help nor the fact I had intense feelings for the other man, despite him not being good for me even as a person as a result of his issues.

 

I feel, as my therapist does, that we just coexist together. Even our interests are all different. I believe we made a mistake marrying and I know my spouse says he loves me but, as me, I believe he is just comfortable and afraid to go alone at this age we are.

 

This thread is very interesting. I waver between staying and going mainly as of fear of the aloneness.

[Michelle ma Belle]

I've been here only in the reverse and I went MANY years without sex in my marriage than you so I know what I'm talking about - I stopped keeping track after 6 years....

 

I understand the tug of war that occurs when you still love your partner but feel completely frustrated with the lack of intimacy, especially if it's one sided. Marriage is a give and take and there are TWO people in the relationship after all.

 

I was with my ex for 20 years (4 years dating/16 years married). We were that couple that fell madly in love and couldn't keep our hands off of each other. But like all good things, it started to change and shift for HIM in particularly and especially after we started our family. Sex got less and less frequent to the point where it came to a full stop altogether. When we did have sex, I was always left feeling empty, like he wasn't really present, that he just wanted to get it over with. It was never the same again. I was still young and didn't know any better than to just suck it up thinking if I changed myself, things would get better again. And so I did, I read books and watched videos, I lost weight (which eventually tuned into bulimia btw), changed my hair colour, cooked more, cleaned better, complained less but it was all for not. I started to develop a serious complex and it took a toll on my self esteem. The sadness grew into frustration which grew into resentment. After YEARS of going without sex completely and only the occasion touch or kiss, I couldn't take it any more. I spent years in therapy on my own to help deal with this and then begged my hubby to go to couple's therapy but he refused. I was WAY too young to be in a sexless marriage and the thought of spending another 10-20 years sexless was enough to make me want to commit suicide.

 

I agree that the act of sex itself isn't and shouldn't be everything and am well aware that sex fades and/or shifts the longer couples are together but at the same time, sex is a form of intimacy which is critical to a healthy and happy relationship. It's a barometer for how the relationship is doing. Unless you BOTH settle into a place where sex isn't a priority and are content with it, life can be good. But if one of you makes the decision for both of you that sex isn't that important and/or pulls if off the shelf without your consent, that's when it becomes problematic.

 

After 20 years of being together and spending nearly half of my marriage pretty much sexless despite countless attempts at trying to make it work, I had enough and chose to tap out. It was the hardest decision I ever made because I still loved him but I knew there was a part of me that was dying a little bit every day that I continued to spend in that relationship. Like you, I NEED physical touch even if it was just cuddling, kissing etc. It takes two people to make a relationship work, period.

 

I suppose I could have stayed married forever and taken on plenty of lovers (I had plenty of opportunities) and played online with cyber lovers where I could get my rocks off as often as I wanted but that wasn't the kind of life I wanted to live nor the kind of woman I wanted to be.

 

I'm always conflicted when I hear of people living like this, sticking it out in their sexless marriage or relationship. A part of me applauds them while another part of me shakes my head. Some of them stick it out because they genuinely love for their partner while others do it because they're just scared to be alone or can't be bothered to divide the property and split up the family. I've been there and therefore I completely understand the struggle. I can see both sides of the coin.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have any great advice to pass along that will fix all your problems. As you can see, I chose to end my marriage. I couldn't do it any more, be the only one that seemed to be fighting for it.

 

At some point, you may have to ask yourself if this is as good as it will ever be with your wife, is it good enough? What are you willing to live with...or without?

 

To stay or go, neither one of those decisions is an easy one. At the end of the day, we have to live with our choices.

 

Once you ask and answer those question, you will have to make some hard decisions. Hopefully your love will sustain things but my experience has taught me that sometimes love just isn't enough unfortunately

 

Good luck my friend.

Edited April 6, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle

[Belle82]

Just a few suggestions but maybe she is stressed and needs to get away, I hung up my business for a few months several years ago now as everything irritated me and you have stated that your wife is acting like this.

The other things is she may need time away from you, even in the height of our relationship sexually, my husband irritated the hell out of me after several days working at home. I needed my space and I needed me time. Sometimes this gets lost when there seems no escape from a partner, kids and a business.

[Scrivdog]

You go on any marriage board and the number one issue is this one right here. Wifey no longer wants sex from the husband. Of course, as usual, it's your damn fault of course. You obviously missed some telepathically transmitted cues that led your wife to become as sexual as a bag of deadbolts. Now, they'd all have you believe that you need to spend the next several years jumping through hoops trying to rekindle this lost passion.

 

I have bad news for you. You'll hit the Powerball twice in a row before she goes back to her premarital ways. She simply doesn't give a crap anymore, son. You're now a walking, dickless ATM.

 

Far be it for me to tell you what to do now. But whatever you do, don't do it in the hopes you'll fix anything. It's -

 

NOT

GOING

TO

HAPPEN

 

If you have dodbts, then get on these boards and list all the threads where this problem was fixed. Good luck.

[still_an_Angel]

You really need to have a serious, open talk with her about this. There's something that is frustrating her and its killing her libido. You guys live and work together from home, for some people that becomes too much in everyday life. There is no variety and with no interaction with other people, you have become too familiar with each other. How can you be spontaneous when you both could probably predict what each will say or do? As the old saying goes... Familiarity breeds contempt.

 

Im sorry for your situation, I know that for some people, physical contact is very important. You must tell her the importance of sex to you. If she is unable to give you what you need, then discuss your options with her and see what she thinks. I'd like to clarify that I do not advocate affairs (even though I am in one) but I understand that a person can only go for so long without sex and this need will overflow which will compel you to seek sex elsewhere.

You obviously still love her and desire her, but if she cant or wont deliver the physical side, you must tell her about the other options that might be suitable for both of you. Would she agree to an open marriage? Or for you to have a FB? If she would rather you leave her alone, surely she would be amenable to a suitable compromise? I hope I have not offended you with these suggestions

[BikerAccnt]

Sorry this is happening to you. But after 13 years, 10 of them totally sexless, I finally left. Nothing I did or didn't do was fixing it. I was dying inside, and finally had to leave. She was actually very upset, she didn't want me to leave. Yet, even then, she still indicated she was no longer interested in sex, with me, or anyone. I still left.

 

Probably not what you wanted to hear, but as someone earlier said, this is often one of the number 1 issues ina marriage, and one that is seldom solved. Money issues can be worked out, child care issues can be worked out, many others can be worked out.

 

But no matter what the reason may be, physical or emotional, sexual problems seldom work out. Once a partner is off of sex with you, they are usually just off. You have to decide if you can live with that or not.

[Waverly]

I just saw an article this morning on the Huffington Post, all about some reasons why women lose interest in having sex with their husbands. I definitely identified with some of the reasons. Not sure if it will shed any light on your situation or not, but it's just something else to consider...

 

Link here.

[Adele0908]

I used to be like that...very horny, always wanting sex, when I was in my early to mid 20s. I had two boyfriends who loved and adored me. They kind of lucked out and benefitted from my horniness. I liked porn, toys. I was bicurious. I was very interested in getting off. I remember it like it was yesterday....."looks off into sunset"

 

My second boyfriend in my mid-twenties wanted to get married. I was always horny with him. I was the one with the higher sex drive it seemed. I couldn't put my finger on it back then...I couldn't define it...but I knew something was amiss.

 

Now I realize that my high sex drive was a result of me being unfulfilled as a woman. I was using sex to cover up pain that I hadn't resolved, and to take me away from the truth that I needed to discover about myself. Part of it was hormones, but I am still very horny at 30.

 

My sex drive hasn't diminished, but my impulse and desire to be sexually attractive has diminished. I still take care of myself, work out, and date. But I don't need to be a porn star in bed. I don't need to have sex and perform, because I don't need that validation. I can just be.

 

I'd rather have my man desire me and ravish me, instead of me ravishing him. I am more open to receive a man's love than I was before. I had to heal a lot of old hurts to be able to receive love, and to be able to lay back and let a man take control in bed. This is some real sh*t. People see doctors, experts, healers, tantric specialists... At some point people realize that sex can actually heal you and has a deeper purpose than what we give it. But your wife is not feeling that healing from you. If she was, she would let you in fully. It would hot, erotic, and like nothing you ever felt.

 

My experience is not your wife's experience but I don't think her issues have anything to do with you. I don't think you did anything wrong. You can't know what's inside another person, let alone a woman. But you can learn. And you can use it to experience greater passion.

 

I think it would be a great idea for you two to see a person who specializes in tantra and healing.

 

Perhaps she just wants to feel your healing touch without penetration and sex. It feels good for a man to just simply hold you without trying to escalate it to sex. It feels good for a man to honor your need to just be held and caressed without sex. Sometimes when a man is having sex with a woman, he is just looking to get off and it feels like he is just masturbating in you. It doesn't feel truly intimate.

 

You two could actually make it, because it seems you care enough to try to fix the problem. I think though, that you should visit experts.

 

I have never used these people as counselors, though I intend to in the future. I just have read many of their articles and watched their youtube videos, and I believe they have very useful information for people.

 

JuJuMama: Tantra & Relationship Coaching w/ Carl & Kenya Stevens

Jason Hairston - YouTube

 

I suggest you set up a consultation with Jason Hairston who is a love coach. You may also benefit from seeing Carl E. Stevens who is accesible on the Jujumama website.

 

And also, read anything by David Deida.

 

I am not a professional so I have no idea how to help you really, but I think you're on the right track. It's wonderful to experience this kind of growth in marriage and I would love to be married myself to grow with someone this way

Edited April 14, 2014 by Adele0908

[Popsicle]

The solution is simple. Divorce her and marry a porn star.