M30USA Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 If you were dating a woman or considering marrying her, would you be okay with knowing that she was arrested for assaulting her ex-husband? And if her reason was that she claimed her ex-husband was verbally abusive as her reason, would that make it something you could overlook? Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 If you were dating a woman or considering marrying her, would you be okay with knowing that she was arrested for assaulting her ex-husband? And if her reason was that she claimed her ex-husband was verbally abusive as her reason, would that make it something you could overlook? H3ll to the NO...... Fast forward a few years, and that could turn out to be you...this is akin to a woman that is high conflict and fights her husband all the way to the courts to get sole custody....if you ignore this, tag and you could end up being IT I mean what you have is one side of the story.....and please note that I personally don't condone violence of any kind. I speak as a man who was shoved and had things thrown at him in the kitchen by the ex Red flags are just that for a reason...ignore them at your own peril 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author M30USA Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 H3ll to the NO...... Fast forward a few years, and that could turn out to be you...this is akin to a woman that is high conflict and fights her husband all the way to the courts to get sole custody....if you ignore this, tag and you could end up being IT I mean what you have is one side of the story.....and please note that I personally don't condone violence of any kind. I speak as a man who was shoved and had things thrown at him in the kitchen by the ex Red flags are just that for a reason...ignore them at your own peril It's interesting that you find a correlation between assaulting behavior and fighting tooth and nail in custody court for sole custody. I can tell you that you are correct in relating these two. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted February 3, 2014 Share Posted February 3, 2014 for a woman to be arrested for domestic assault, this was more than some shoving and chick-slapping and throwing things around the kitchen . For cops to have hauled her away in cuffs, he would have had to have been bleeding enough to have freaked the cops out a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Author M30USA Posted February 3, 2014 Author Share Posted February 3, 2014 for a woman to be arrested for domestic assault, this was more than some shoving and chick-slapping and throwing things around the kitchen . For cops to have hauled her away in cuffs, he would have had to have been bleeding enough to have freaked the cops out a little. In many states now cops have mandatory arrest laws. In other words, if there is a call for domestic violence, then SOMEONE will get hauled off. I'm actually surprised that statistics are showing a relative increase in women being arrested for domestic violence and a relative decrease in men being arrested for domestic violence. Obviously men are still arrested more, but it's happening comparatively more for women and less for men than in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Oldshirt You are so wrong. My lady of 18 wonderful years is the most caring, giving person I have ever met. Her Ex was a total azz, that she totally hated. A very abusive, that is why she left him after 15 years, former 20 year military man, who thought he was always in command. Even though they had been divorced for over 8 years and she had been in a live in relationship with another man for almost 5 years, he felt that he had a right to tell her how to live her life. He also wanted her back something fierce. He and I had several run ins, as when I was not around he would barge into her house and start telling her how to live her live. Like dump me, and remarry him. She had to call the cops several times, as I would be at work. Their adult daughter was a druggie, who wanted mom and dad back together, had had their granddaughter and my lady was letting her and the child live with her. A little over a year, after we started dating, she came home just before Christmas time to find that her Ex had moved his chit into her house and was now living there. She went ballistic, the cops were called. When I got there the cops were about to put the cuffs on her as she was under arrest. She was livid. Even though her name was the only one on the lease, being as her daughter who had lived with her for over a year, her daughter by law was considered to be a permanent resident of the house and as such she could invite any one she wanted to stay in the residence up to two weeks. I was able to talk to her and the police, and they eventually let her leave and come home with me. Had I arrived a minute or two later they would have had her in the back of car and taken in for booking, for a whole number of charges. Edited February 4, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 M30USA Personally I will never marry again. As for the scenario that you describe, yes I can see getting into a relationship with a woman like that. It would all depend on the situation. Over the years I have dated many divorced women, and some of the things that they have told me about their former Ex's actions are scary in the extreme. Note my above post. Another, after getting back from the hospital, was in the midst of moving out when he got out of jail. He showed up as she was getting the last of her things. He grabbed his shot gun and blew away her 5 year old cat whom had helped her survive the past few years, while it was in the cat carrier. It gets worse, one was serving a life time sentence for killing one of their kids Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 The devil is in the details. The arrest means little to nothing without the context. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 I'd be highly reluctant to marry a woman who beat her husband. You are never really going to know what happened either. I do know that if a woman ever thought it was okay to hit me I'd throw her on her ass faster than last nights pizza box. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 I am not marrying a violent woman. Did it once and will never do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
ThatMan Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 (edited) May I ask for further details? I do not know what state this has occurred in, but the mandatory arrest typically has to meet any one criteria: Actively prevented a person from contacting any and all first responders.Physically damaged something during the altercation, such as drywall with holes.Visible signs of physical injury that can be documented. You basically need more than just the phonecall for an arrest. The police have to be told that there was a fight in most cases of mandatory arrests. There HAS to be an altercation of physical violence, meaning that violence has in fact occurred between two spouses. Have you been dating someone with an arrest and criminal history? If so, I'd strongly advise walking away. The circumstances do not really matter. What matters is that she felt comfortable doing things that are unacceptable. When people believe that it's okay to do anything described above, and that people deserve this treatment, then it's only a matter of time before they will treat you exactly the same way. Edited February 6, 2014 by ThatMan Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted February 6, 2014 Share Posted February 6, 2014 M30, I hope you aren't thinking of dating someone with a violent past, alleged or otherwise. Didn't you just get out of a marriage with an abusive ex wife? G Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts