TealQueen Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Why? We were lying in bed last week and he randomly asked me when I expected to get engaged. I said I had no timeline. Whenever it's right. He wanted something more specific, so I said 2 years ish is good. (We've been dating almost 1 year 4 months) I asked him back and he said the same thing, that he had no timeline, when it was right it's right. that it could be 1.5 years, 10 years, 2 years. Why would he ask me that though? So randomly. If a guy asks something like that, does that mean he's considering it? And since we've been dating, he's asked me twice "hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you to marry me tomorrow?" Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 ten years til you get engaged? either he wants to or he does not, if you want marriage date others, this guy is dithering 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 i would think he is interested,guys dont talk about engagement and marriage unless one they are telling you they dont want commitment or they do want commitment......and most who dont ...dont bring it up..... i think ten years is way too long........as another poster said....if its ten the guy really doesnt want to get married at all.....you have to have a timeline.......in my opinion....other wise life just takes over and it never happens.......i dont mean marry tomorrow or three months down the track.....but have a year in mind yes.....a plan for the future is soemthing everybody has whether they know it or not.......living day to day ...year to year, they pass by in the blink of an eye.......and soon you are saying hey where am i going....what am i doing where do i want to be......then life starts to make sense when you have an idea of where you want to go and who you want that person to be beside you going where you go.otheriwse its travel without purpose thats only my opinion.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author TealQueen Posted September 23, 2013 Author Share Posted September 23, 2013 He wasn't saying it might take 10 years, he just reiterating that it happens when it happens. However, when he said that I told him I am not waiting 10 years. Not happening. He's been engaged before... And they dated I think just under 2 years when he proposed I'm just asking why he'd bring it up? Just making conversation? Just curious as to what I thought? Is he considering it? I was thinking about just asking him why he brought it up maybe.. Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 He's fishing. He wants to ask, but not too soon...if he's the one find a way to make it clear that you will say yes. If he's not find a way to let him down easy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bubberfly Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Ha. Guys never talk about marriage as a "conversation starter." In my experience, guys ask this to see how much freedom they have until the woman decides to get "serious." Haha gives him a timeline when he'll need to RUN. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Ha. Guys never talk about marriage as a "conversation starter." In my experience, guys ask this to see how much freedom they have until the woman decides to get "serious." Haha gives him a timeline when he'll need to RUN. How much experience do you have with this? Because that's exactly how I went about it. Of course now I wish I hadn't, but that's how I did it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubberfly Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 How much experience do you have with this? Because that's exactly how I went about it. Of course now I wish I hadn't, but that's how I did it. Quite a bit, I hate to admit Link to post Share on other sites
Sparty97 Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Quite a bit, I hate to admit And even that would be purely anecdotal. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Why? We were lying in bed last week and he randomly asked me when I expected to get engaged. I said I had no timeline. Whenever it's right. He wanted something more specific, so I said 2 years ish is good. (We've been dating almost 1 year 4 months) I asked him back and he said the same thing, that he had no timeline, when it was right it's right. that it could be 1.5 years, 10 years, 2 years. Why would he ask me that though? So randomly. If a guy asks something like that, does that mean he's considering it? And since we've been dating, he's asked me twice "hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you to marry me tomorrow?" I think it's ironic that you have some angst over his bringing this up because, if you head over to the Loveshack "Getting Married" forum, the concern is just the opposite. Many guys seem reluctant to even discuss it... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CherryT Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Why? We were lying in bed last week and he randomly asked me when I expected to get engaged. I said I had no timeline. Whenever it's right. He wanted something more specific, so I said 2 years ish is good. (We've been dating almost 1 year 4 months) I asked him back and he said the same thing, that he had no timeline, when it was right it's right. that it could be 1.5 years, 10 years, 2 years. Why would he ask me that though? So randomly. If a guy asks something like that, does that mean he's considering it? And since we've been dating, he's asked me twice "hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you to marry me tomorrow?" I don't think it's random at all if you're in a serious committed relationship. My fiance and I planned together when we wanted to be engaged and married. As a woman, I didn't feel it was solely a responsibility of the man to budget, plan, purchase a ring and propose. It's a life event that you both should be equally wanting. The fact that he's talking about it after a year and (almost) half of dating is a good sign that he's not commitment-phobe. It looks like he wants to get married and just wanting to see when you felt ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
boobookittyfuq Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Why? We were lying in bed last week and he randomly asked me when I expected to get engaged. I said I had no timeline. Whenever it's right. He wanted something more specific, so I said 2 years ish is good. (We've been dating almost 1 year 4 months) I asked him back and he said the same thing, that he had no timeline, when it was right it's right. that it could be 1.5 years, 10 years, 2 years. Why would he ask me that though? So randomly. If a guy asks something like that, does that mean he's considering it? And since we've been dating, he's asked me twice "hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you to marry me tomorrow?" Since you have been in a relationship for over a year, your bf asking you when you expected to be engaged, it seems it was his passive aggressive way to find out if you would want to be married to him. I am thinking you just got PRE-proposed to...haha not a bad thing, I think, or at least hope in your case. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ChooseTruth Posted September 24, 2013 Share Posted September 24, 2013 Depends on what his goals are. I think it's a good thing to make sure you are on the same page before starting dating. Is he looking for an eventual wife or not? To me that is a perfectly valid question. My thoughts lean toward the answer for him being yes. I could be wrong of course, you would know much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TealQueen Posted September 25, 2013 Author Share Posted September 25, 2013 Depends on what his goals are. I think it's a good thing to make sure you are on the same page before starting dating. Is he looking for an eventual wife or not? To me that is a perfectly valid question. My thoughts lean toward the answer for him being yes. I could be wrong of course, you would know much better. He does want to get married, yes. He has been engaged previously. They dated about two years when he proposed. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 He's fishing. He wants to ask, but not too soon...if he's the one find a way to make it clear that you will say yes. If he's not find a way to let him down easy. Exactly! Link to post Share on other sites
It's Just Me Posted September 25, 2013 Share Posted September 25, 2013 He sounds to me like a guy trying to find out if his girlfriend is on the same page as him time-wise, because if she were, he'd might just pop the question and won't have to fear being turned down. Yup. Prepare to be flash-mobbed. Enjoy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TealQueen Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 I asked him last night, and he said "The thought just randomly popped into my head, so I asked. I just wanted to make sure you weren't expecting a proposal in the next 4 months, because I'm not there yet." Which is fine, we need to wait a little bit longer. However, I find it odd he was so specific "not in the next 4 months" I'd have expected more of a "not in the next few months" makes me think... lol Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 As a guy I will say that most of the entire wedding planning and the wedding itself centers around the bride. We just need to show up. However, the whole process of surprising the girl (and asking her dad which I did as well) is about the only thing the guy controls in this process and nothing beats having the question come out of left field and surprise your future wife. You want that moment as a guy, so it is very possible he already has the ring bought and is just waiting for the perfect time (eg. dinnner, some place that is sentimental to the two of you). I could be wrong, but a guy that asks this question out of nowhere is definitely thinking about it Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 It's a pretty normal topic. I don't think it means he's going to propose anytime soon but it does mean that he sees it happening at some point in the future. I mean for me, this is perfectly normal type of conversation to have with someone you've been with for a year and a half. Link to post Share on other sites
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