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My wife won't stop talking to other random guys from different cities


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Old 27th May 2013, 3:50 AM   #1
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My wife won't stop talking to other random guys from different cities

My wife and I have been on and off for almost 5+ years. We got married 2 years ago. But we have had our ups and downs almost every other day. She recently moved in with me in my house. She is an extreme extrovert and I am somewhat of an introvert unless if I get to know the person and if they show interest.
A little background on her, she is elder than me and also she was a divorcee when we were going out. Her previous marriage ended due to infidelity between both partners. She has had many affairs (online relationships) with random people. She claims she likes to talk to people as it makes her feel good. From what I have seen, she likes to keep options available. I too was an option at one point. She has a very short temper and gets angry for about the simplest of the things for no reason at all.
So since the time she has moved in, she has been behaving suspicious. She doesn't let me touch her phone or her laptop, not that I want to. She starts using them as soon as I leave the room she is in and stops using them as soon as I enter the room again where she is. She keeps playing those stupid games on FB, she also does the same on my phone. However, apart from just playing games she has started adding random guys whom she meets in game rooms. It wasnít a problem till they were on FB, then they started having Video Calls on Skype and now they have also come up on WhatsApp. When I questioned her why she has random guys, she used to cut me off by labeling me as an introvert and I should not tell her what or who she needs to be friends with. She used to check on my mobile every now and then earlier, who I have in my contact lists, messages I sent on whatsapp or sms, and my FB friends. She has stopped doing it for as long as I remember after we got married.
There were times when some guys used to call her in the middle of the night and I used to get pissed at that. I asked her to stop the whole nonsense of talking to random guys as it is making me uncomfortable. This just happened recently and she started crying uncontrollably. And she started screaming she wants to go back home. Now for everything which goes wrong, she keeps threatening me with that statement about going back to her home. It has broken me and my self-esteem; I really canít do anything around her without worrying about the mistakes she will point out in me and make sarcastic comments.
I love her very much, when she is not all angry and revengeful, she is the best person in the world. She demotivates me completely with her sarcasm and I literally feel like ending everything and jumping off the roof.
A few weeks ago I came across a whatsapp log on her phone, I know itís creepy but I got access to it in the middle of the night when she was sleeping. I believe she knows I have seen the logs.
Here is the log:
Code:
22:52, Apr 13 - Wife: Hey cal me back
20:14, Apr 14 - ExHornyBoss: Hi was in CityA and just came back to CityB. Anything urgent?
20:21, Apr 14 - Wife: No honey
20:22, Apr 14 - Wife: Have a new CityX number
20:22, Apr 14 - Wife: Will cal u tom
20:23, Apr 14 - ExHornyBoss: No issue. Take care.
12:05, Apr 15 - ExHornyBoss: Hi u want to talk? Go ahead.
12:42, Apr 15 - ExHornyBoss: Hello
13:26, Apr 15 - ExHornyBoss: Hi busy to reply?
17:39, Apr 15 - Wife: Hey
17:39, Apr 15 - Wife: Am not busy
21:42, May 13 - Wife: Who ABC.will cal u back.
21:42, May 13 - Wife: Wih
21:42, May 13 - Wife: With
21:43, May 13 - ExHornyBoss: Sorry it is ExHornyBoss
21:44, May 13 - ExHornyBoss: Disappointed?
21:46, May 13 - ExHornyBoss: U photo is smart and good looking. I know u won't respond!
05:57, May 14 - ExHornyBoss: I know it is wrong to ask at this time. Do u have any plans to come down to CityC? I can be at CityC on 24th to 26th. Fri is a holiday. Consider and do let me know. Bye
11:00, May 14 - Wife: Am trying hard to get this job at XYZ.
11:00, May 14 - Wife: I need to tell u something very important. Plz cal me. There is a huge scam in Ur EFG division.
15:53, May 14 - ExHornyBoss: Hi what happened to the interview? Hope u got lucky this time. Ur what's aPp profile is a killer:)
16:02, May 14 - Wife: Yup but I like XYZ. Wish me good luck.
16:02, May 14 - ExHornyBoss: Lots of luck honey. Possible to talk?
16:03, May 14 - Wife: Am in the train. I can talk.
17:08, May 14 - ExHornyBoss: Reached?
18:55, May 14 - ExHornyBoss: Hi flt has to return as some one was seriously ill. Trying reaching u.
19:15, May 14 - Wife: Hey my Fone was on charge and in silent
19:15, May 14 - Wife: I was cooking smethng to eat
01:44, May 15 - ExHornyBoss: U slept?
03:07, May 15 - ExHornyBoss: Hai I am looking at your photo and wondering how u r maintaining this great fig. Oops really need u. Do decide to come wither CityC or CountryA. Eager. Sorry to be so horny??
Apart from the above, I just came to know yesterday that ExHornyBoss is coming to the same country we are in and he wants to meet my wife. He asked ďare you in the mood to have some fun?Ē
Iím really unsure what needs to be done, as I really love her a lot and I donít want to leave her. I have tried talking to her about these uncomfortable situations which she generates in me, but she just gets angry and completely shuts me off.
Please help!!!
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Old 27th May 2013, 6:27 AM   #2
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Why are you still married to this woman?
Are you addicted to her, somehow?
Are you this much desperate for sex or affection?

Or has she just completely destroyed your self-esteem and mind?
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Old 27th May 2013, 6:54 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karnak View Post
Why are you still married to this woman?
Are you addicted to her, somehow?
Are you this much desperate for sex or affection?

Or has she just completely destroyed your self-esteem and mind?
I'm addicted to her affection, because when she does show that side of hers I really feel complete. Its just the way she says things to me, she raises her voice just because I asked what she said because I didn't hear her, or if I make any conversation about these so called FB friends of her. She becomes very sarcastic with her answers and always gives a neutral answer which wouldn't benefit me. She keeps recalling whatever I said in a fit of anger whenever we have an argument and puts me down.
She claims that she's always been like this, born like this. She never wants to be put down and so she will always say things which will hurt the other person. She sounds very insensitve and her actions show the same thing.

However, I still feel she does love me a lot. I know it's my heart talking, my mind is however convinced this will not work out.

I just want to know how should I take it forward..

on a side note: our sex life has been deteriorating as she complains she is tired very soon. before our marriage we were like rabbits, never get enough of each other.

I keep holding her hand (in public as well) every now and then. However she doesn't approve of that gesture. I keep caressing her and try to make any kind of physical contact, she does not like it. She never does the same to me. I keep gifting her with things she likes, books, roses, etc.. She does not want to set her FB status as married as she feels her relatives will start questioning her. Its been 2 years of our marriage and she still claims that she has moved to my city for "work purposes" never claimed that she is married to me, to any of her friends. Whenever I put up our pictures on FB she gets angry and asks me to pull it off immediately. Sometimes she does posts romantic quotes on my timeline, however it is only visible to me and my friends, none of her friends can see the same.

Last edited by seekinginformation; 27th May 2013 at 7:03 AM.. Reason: Additon
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Old 27th May 2013, 7:22 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seekinginformation View Post
I'm addicted to her affection, because when she does show that side of hers I really feel complete. Its just the way she says things to me, she raises her voice just because I asked what she said because I didn't hear her, or if I make any conversation about these so called FB friends of her. She becomes very sarcastic with her answers and always gives a neutral answer which wouldn't benefit me. She keeps recalling whatever I said in a fit of anger whenever we have an argument and puts me down.
She claims that she's always been like this, born like this. She never wants to be put down and so she will always say things which will hurt the other person. She sounds very insensitve and her actions show the same thing.

However, I still feel she does love me a lot. I know it's my heart talking, my mind is however convinced this will not work out.

I just want to know how should I take it forward..

on a side note: our sex life has been deteriorating as she complains she is tired very soon. before our marriage we were like rabbits, never get enough of each other.

I keep holding her hand (in public as well) every now and then. However she doesn't approve of that gesture. I keep caressing her and try to make any kind of physical contact, she does not like it. She never does the same to me. I keep gifting her with things she likes, books, roses, etc.. She does not want to set her FB status as married as she feels her relatives will start questioning her. Its been 2 years of our marriage and she still claims that she has moved to my city for "work purposes" never claimed that she is married to me, to any of her friends. Whenever I put up our pictures on FB she gets angry and asks me to pull it off immediately. Sometimes she does posts romantic quotes on my timeline, however it is only visible to me and my friends, none of her friends can see the same.
Sorry, mate. This is gonna sound harsh and brutal (it's just my opinion).
You're not living a marriage. You're living a lie.
karnak is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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