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feel jealous from hubby's daughter


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hi

my story began that i got married from a man older than me with 18 years old an d he has a daughter also..and i agreed that there is a difference in social standard and also great age difference between us...that most of people blamed me about..especially i was single never got married before and so on..but i was sure that i don't care from anything whethere his age or his daughter because really i loved him really!!....only the love who make me got married from him and it's not only love but actually i am mad about him!!!

 

when we first met and in the begaining of our love story as we dated for 2 years before getting married and after getting married we were in long distance relationship for two years also...untile i went to the place he settle in!!

 

 

and i can't deny it was so so hard for me all this...i was prevented from meet with his in person prevent from to find him beside me and to be beside him...i totured alot from his absence plus i was feeling worry about how his life going while he is lonely...and fighted alot..and he was gonna end this realtion otherwise iam the one who was consistent to last breathe!!

 

 

and after i passed the hardest period in our relation which we were apart ..then i transferd to another stage that me and him become together in the same home...and it was amazing and fantastice to me but...

 

 

 

my real problem that i find out my self has a feeling that iam not satisfy to have...but i was so obvious with my self....i feel jealous from his daughter and i don't know i am the one who is jealous or his behaviors and the way he used to act force me to feel this way!!!!!

 

i asked this question alot to myself..i never get helf as i don't have too close friends ..

 

 

the story that what i imagined about his daughter existing in our life not like i found out...and also i didn't imagine that he is exaggerating in his feeling to his daughter to that extreme!!

 

 

 

when i went to our home as a bride for the first time...only two days and i see his x calling him and shouting you are here with ur wife and u don't want to see your daughter!!!...and alot of fighting that destroy my nervous....my husband got distracted alot from what his x made....than after i met his daughter i loved her and i welcomed her despite she is very quite and uncommunicative...but i felt inside me that it's like her mom forced something upon me and my husband....but regardless of this i treated the girl like queen i talked to her i cooked to her...i open with her topics and i tried to help her to overreach any hurt existing inside her from our marriage in indirect way as i don't want her feel bad...

 

 

 

 

It began a too close communication between my hubby and his x about the daughter...every day she called him to come pick the girl up from their place to our place at 8 am because she goes her work and then he return her back again and so on...alot of school meeting alot interviews and what maade the matter worse that my hubby increase it and was very offensive with the school and with the principal especially his daughter told him that she dosn't want to go school again...and she prefer to be home schooling...

 

 

 

my hubby is very caring of his daughter and we have our customs and religion that doesn't allow many things like sex relationship before marriage and some issues...so he is worried about her to lose her , or to go with a boyfriend so he is such in a hot water...since the day she escaped he tried anything to satisfy her...but i don't know why i feel all this is plannings...

 

in a way he agreed to make to her homeschooling despite this step was so

exhausting to him all time he is looking for the approval and social workers and tutors and books that it's not easy to find it's a horrible stage that she completely took him from me...(and that what they hoping from the begining)

and after amonth my husband not with me he is in another world with his process and he began to make to her the home schooling in our place...everyday!!

 

for me it's so hard as i feel no one feel me even the nearest one to me!! i wished to have a life with my husband me and him alone i intended to get marry from him not hm and his daughter..i want alot of time with him alone...i want privacy with him...sometimes i feel he is not my own...he is his daughter and her mom owns!! she tring to disturb my life with him...they use a very bad ways with him to make sure that he isnot concentarat with me and that by making him busy by any problem they creating with themselfs(lie) they know his weak points and take advantage from and abuse it!!

plus our place where we live is depending on his daughter if she tranfered to another place he will go behind her!!!...when i try to forget everything and be positive and think how to spend a very little time with my husband that we allowed to!! it's only a few hours a week....imagine he come to me in this day and say'' what's ur opinion to take my daughter with us ''? even he dosn't make feel i am desired from him...he always talk about his daughter...all he cares about is her....lately even if he is with me...he isn't with me he is distracting...and all that make me loser finally and a joke...especially in his daughter presence in our place he never appear he loves me ...or talk to me...he doesn't want her to know he loves me...and always talk me bad way in a ways she laughing...and despite all that i treat her like my sister always talk to her trying to support her and tring to make her better as in the end she doesn't have any guilt...

 

and when i tried to speak with my husband that he always distracted and i need him to be passionate and caring like he was before...i find there is no reaction from him he is doing the same...when i told him about any issue bug me or upset me...he repeat it again and again...and when i blamed him about his fact his response is it's his life like that and i should to do what i want if i want to separate to go a head..and when i am crying he tell me i am a bugger never took me in his huge in this moment...only he go close to me when i am smiling..and finally i feel that iam not desired from any one...but for me...put ur self in my shoes it will be easy like it seems to move on and get divorce...for me....i feel more than the word hurt or pain...i am really in dangerous situation as...it considered now something realted being winner or loser...so iam not such an ediot to give up and announce about my beating!!!

i feel for a reason or another i am being fighted from someone i don't know is this one my husband or his daughter or his ex or all of them?!!!!!!!!!!

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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TL; DR.

 

I'm afraid it's way too long.

 

Are you jealous of her?

is she jealous of you?

 

You must accept that she will always be more of a familial priority to him than you are, and that her mother will always be in your lives.

 

You say:

 

so iam not such an ediot to give up and announce about my beating!!!

 

Are you saying he hit you?

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Hi Moraa,

 

From what I understood from your story;

 

- You married a man that's 18 years older than you

- He was previously married, and has a daughter

- The ex and the daughter are too involved in your life.

- You feel that your husband is giving so much more to the ex and the daughter while neglecting you

-You tried to be very welcoming to the daughter but you feel she doesn't like you and you think it is because of her mom.

 

 

I'm sorry if I got it wrong.

 

If what I understood your story correctly, all I can say is that marrying someone with kids always adds that angle to your life. Because of the kids, the ex will always be in the picture because they need to co-parent.

 

It seems like your husband is not addressing your feelings of being neglected and your desire to spend more time with him, and that is sad.

 

The thing that concerns me is that he told you to go if you want and he isn't trying to fix things with you. That says that you are disposable to him. That must be where all your hurt is coming from.

 

The daughter is NOT your enemy and you should't be jealous of her or resent her. She is his daughter and he needs to be there for her. He's just the one that's not addressing your needs. That's not on the daughter that's on him.

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