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Precious Memories in Marriages and LTR's :)


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BetheButterfly

I am starting this thread for people who would like to share a precious memory in marriage with the LoveShack community.

 

My precious memories of my husband and me are found in all areas of life, from sex to eating to working out to going to church to arguing about which is better: chocolate or vanilla, to him holding me as I cry to me soothing and nursing him back to health when he got sick.

 

One of the most recent memories I treasure is when my hubby and I went to the beach and made out in the water. I absolutely love that and remember so clearly his eyes and his passion and the beautiful environment! It had just stormed and the sky was awesome! The sun was setting and the clouds were beautiful. I felt like the most rich woman in the world.

 

A memory that I am looking forward to is bringing my husband with me to meet my family in my home state. He has never before experienced playing in the snow. I can't wait for him to see it and to have a snowball fight with him and teach him how to make angels in the snow and how to sled!!!

 

What are some memories that you have had or would like to have concerning you and your spouse? Thanks for sharing! :bunny:

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I am starting this thread for people who would like to share a precious memory in marriage with the LoveShack community.

 

My precious memories of my husband and me are found in all areas of life, from sex to eating to working out to going to church to arguing about which is better: chocolate or vanilla, to him holding me as I cry to me soothing and nursing him back to health when he got sick.

 

One of the most recent memories I treasure is when my hubby and I went to the beach and made out in the water. I absolutely love that and remember so clearly his eyes and his passion and the beautiful environment! It had just stormed and the sky was awesome! The sun was setting and the clouds were beautiful. I felt like the most rich woman in the world.

 

A memory that I am looking forward to is bringing my husband with me to meet my family in my home state. He has never before experienced playing in the snow. I can't wait for him to see it and to have a snowball fight with him and teach him how to make angels in the snow and how to sled!!!

 

What are some memories that you have had or would like to have concerning you and your spouse? Thanks for sharing! :bunny:

 

 

Never been married so cant reply to your post .......i can post to say i thought what you shared was absolutely beautiful......lucky girl....best wishes making angels in the snow make one for me...and throw that snowball and make it splat you know you gotta win..........smilin..deb

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BetheButterfly
Never been married so cant reply to your post .......i can post to say i thought what you shared was absolutely beautiful......lucky girl....best wishes making angels in the snow make one for me...and throw that snowball and make it splat you know you gotta win..........smilin..deb

 

Thanks ToDreaminBlue,

 

Do you want to get married? If so, I pray you will find a wonderful man.

 

Lol ok I will! :) As for snowball fights, he's MUCH stronger than me but he lets me win sometimes when we wrestle and fight. ;) As for my husband, it probably will take him awhile to get used to the cold! What's hilarious though is that I get cold easier than he does. :p

 

Have you ever watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? It has a funny snowball scene.

Edited by BetheButterfly
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Never been married too. But your post was truly inspiring. You are one of those few couples blessed that i could imagine turning into those two elderly white haired people (i envy so much) still holding hands while walking at the park.

 

Not very many people are given the chance to stay deeply in love until their twilight years.

 

Wish you both the best;)

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BetheButterfly
Never been married too. But your post was truly inspiring. You are one of those few couples blessed that i could imagine turning into those two elderly white haired people (i envy so much) still holding hands while walking at the park.

 

Not very many people are given the chance to stay deeply in love until their twilight years.

 

Wish you both the best;)

 

Thank you. I didn't find my true love till I was 34. (I'm 35 now.) I know of many people who have not found true love until later in life too. Yes I very much hope that my husband and I last the test of time and tribulations and become an elderly couple. :love:

 

I absolutely love the elderly couples who hold hands and walk... their lives are such a great motivation and it's so cool to learn how they grew in love instead of out of love.

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BetheButterfly
I think marriage is a nightmare for a lot of people who post here and that's very sad.

While I will never get married again, I'd like to share a story about my happy marriage. I hope no one minds.

 

My husband and I were high school sweethearts, we went through some ups and downs like many young relationships but eventually married after college. We had a storybook wedding and built a lovely life together. One of the reasons that we did so much better than a lot of our friends who were having failing marriages was because even though we'd have arguments or disagreements occasionally, we never "got mean" with each other. I've heard people that profess to love one another say terrible things to each other in the heat of anger, and words hurt worse than anything else and are rarely actually forgotten. We made it a rule to never go to bed angry, even if we had to stay up all night talking it through and to never say anything that was designed to cut at one another in the heat of the moment. It worked, we communicated better than nearly every couple I know. We'd still fuss at one another of course, but it kept deep seated resentments at bay.

I remember we had a particularly stressful time after we had a miscarriage, a friend recommended marriage counseling to help us reconnect, because we didn't want to pull away from one another. I remember the marriage counselor telling us "You can say anything you want to one another in here, with no repercussions, it's a safe place" and we looked at one another, smiled and never went back, because WE were each other's safe place and it was just the reminder we needed to start talking to each other and not pull away. The idea of saying anything with no repercussions was ridiculous to us. Everything you say to someone you love matters.

On my birthday, he used to send my mother flowers, to tell her thank you for bringing me into the world. :love:

Thank you for letting me revisit those days this morning.

 

Thanks for sharing this about your marriage. He sounds like a wonderful man and I just love "WE were each other's safe place..."!!!

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Thanks ToDreaminBlue,

 

Do you want to get married? If so, I pray you will find a wonderful man.

 

Lol ok I will! :) As for snowball fights, he's MUCH stronger than me but he lets me win sometimes when we wrestle and fight. ;) As for my husband, it probably will take him awhile to get used to the cold! What's hilarious though is that I get cold easier than he does. :p

 

Have you ever watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? It has a funny snowball scene.

 

 

I used to daydream about seven brides for seven brothers(my favorite movie as a girl) are you sure you are not psychic???????

 

 

Yes I do want to get married.......not just to anyone though i am a bit selfish that i would want to be married to someone who wanted to be married to me..i am hard work ...smilin......if it were up to me my future holds that gift, but it isnt up to me.God might not have that in his plans for me ........i can pray....because i really have fallen for someone.Only god knows, I have hope though........

 

 

you are a sweet person........and I am smiling at the computer thinking about your snowball fight......it is uplifting to read your posts be the butterfly...you are a butterfly....so flutterby on..beautiful thoughts...hugs..:)...deb

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What are some memories that you have had or would like to have concerning you and your spouse? Thanks for sharing! :bunny:

 

The first feel up off my Husbands bottom. He actually has the perfect bottom!

 

Take care,

Eve x

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What a lovely thread!

 

Being married 30 years I'd say I've got a lot of memories. :)

 

One of my favorite memories that could have been a bad one was meeting his ex wife. lol I was determined not to like her. She had after all slept with my h. While they were married of course but I was young and dumb. Anyway she wanted to meet me to see just who I was because I would be in their child's life.

 

I had her meet me at my yoga studio because that's where I was most comfortable. Step daughter loved the studio, too. When I first saw her I thought she's beautiful and she was. h took my hand as she walked in and I swear I have never loved him more as in that moment. He knew what I was feeling and let me know in just that simple touch that he was there for me. Such a kind thoughtful man I married. :love:

 

It all turned out great with the ex. She said when she was leaving, we (her and h) don't love each other anymore but we are gonna love you. And she hugged me. She also joined the studio and we've had great times together. I still don't like that she slept with h but she says it was only once (her daughter) lol :)

 

Thanks for the thread BetheButterfly! Your h is so lucky to have such a sweet sweet soul! :love::love: xxxx

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I have been married 30+ years. We have had many good memories.

 

Now that the kids are grown, we have lots more time for each other. We grow closer with every passing year.:love:

 

We are friends, lovers, confidants, and each other's strength when facing troubled times.

 

We have been reminded this year just how fragile life can be. Three women that live on our road lost their H's very suddenly to death. They were all in their 50's!

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We have been reminded this year just how fragile life can be. Three women that live on our road lost their H's very suddenly to death. They were all in their 50's!

 

:( Mine had open heart surgery last year and I was overwhelmed contemplating him actually dying for real, now, rather then in the distant future as an old man.

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For some reason, the first thing that strikes me is a memory from about 3 years ago. We were still LDR at that time, and it was his second visit back to see me, that he had to scrimp and save dearly for. We'd just been out for dinner and a movie, and we climbed to the top of a hilly park near the centre of the city and stood hand in hand watching the city lights, before going down to night-time coffee and to play cards. :laugh: I remember wishing that night would never end.

 

Recently, an idyllic drive through the cliffs surrounding the harbour in the city we'd just moved to. I'd wanted to see the beach, so he drove me there, got ice creams for both of us, then drove us up to the cliffs where we could view the magnificent expanse of the sea, and the skyline of the city in the far distance.

 

Giving him his first birthday 'present', that he claimed he pulled a muscle from the sheer intensity of. :o

 

Watching him laugh like a schoolboy again during his first ski excursion ever, and then his first experience at ice skating.

 

How he stroked my hand in the car just the other day, and graciously offered to go shoe-shopping with me. :laugh:

 

I'd better stop now.

Edited by Elswyth
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We have so many precious memories. One I have been reflecting on recently dates back a few years. As part of the divorce settlement I bought out my ex-wife's share of the house we had lived in, that she had continued to live in during the separation. During that time it had become a tip, badly neglected and completely filthy and when she moved out she left large amounts of rubbish and broken things behind. It was heartbreaking.

 

My wife had previously suggested the need for an exorcism, and so we gathered together all the rubbish and burned it in a huge bonfire, holding hands and singing and dancing around it, burning old photographs and any reminders of my former unhappy life here. Then with the house completely bare we set about redecorating it completely, painting it full of bright happy colours instead of the dull greys and beiges and filling it with light and warmth. We would drive to the house every day from where we were staying, slip into overalls, put on the kettle we'd brought along and then my wife would put her iPod into the dock and play her "exorcism" playlist, really loud happy fun music, and we'd sing along as we scrubbed and scraped and sanded and painted and cleaned and tiled. It was exhausting doing all that work ourselves instead of hiring in people as I'd done before, but we had such fun choosing the colours together and working together making the place ours, so that every day whichever room we are in we can look up (or down or along) and see little touches and remember what fun we had doing those.

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when we can have our friend watch our kids for us so we can get groceries...we don't get much "alone time", so it's nice when we do. we hold hands and hug in the grocery store, and people have asked us if we just got married...they always seem surprised when i say we've been married 15 years with three kids

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BetheButterfly
For some reason, the first thing that strikes me is a memory from about 3 years ago. We were still LDR at that time, and it was his second visit back to see me, that he had to scrimp and save dearly for. We'd just been out for dinner and a movie, and we climbed to the top of a hilly park near the centre of the city and stood hand in hand watching the city lights, before going down to night-time coffee and to play cards. :laugh: I remember wishing that night would never end.

 

Recently, an idyllic drive through the cliffs surrounding the harbour in the city we'd just moved to. I'd wanted to see the beach, so he drove me there, got ice creams for both of us, then drove us up to the cliffs where we could view the magnificent expanse of the sea, and the skyline of the city in the far distance.

 

Giving him his first birthday 'present', that he claimed he pulled a muscle from the sheer intensity of. :o

 

Watching him laugh like a schoolboy again during his first ski excursion ever, and then his first experience at ice skating.

 

How he stroked my hand in the car just the other day, and graciously offered to go shoe-shopping with me. :laugh:

 

I'd better stop now.

 

Thanks for sharing those beautiful memories :love:

 

Y'all sound like an awesome couple!!!

 

Wow, offering to go shoe-shopping with his girlfriend is an act of personal sacrifice and selflessness for quite a few guys lol! I love how y'all enjoy nature and then play cards together!!!

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BetheButterfly
What a lovely thread!

 

Being married 30 years I'd say I've got a lot of memories. :)

 

One of my favorite memories that could have been a bad one was meeting his ex wife. lol I was determined not to like her. She had after all slept with my h. While they were married of course but I was young and dumb. Anyway she wanted to meet me to see just who I was because I would be in their child's life.

 

I had her meet me at my yoga studio because that's where I was most comfortable. Step daughter loved the studio, too. When I first saw her I thought she's beautiful and she was. h took my hand as she walked in and I swear I have never loved him more as in that moment. He knew what I was feeling and let me know in just that simple touch that he was there for me. Such a kind thoughtful man I married. :love:

 

It all turned out great with the ex. She said when she was leaving, we (her and h) don't love each other anymore but we are gonna love you. And she hugged me. She also joined the studio and we've had great times together. I still don't like that she slept with h but she says it was only once (her daughter) lol :)

 

Thanks for the thread BetheButterfly! Your h is so lucky to have such a sweet sweet soul! :love::love: xxxx

 

That is a powerful moment when you met her! I am so glad that your hubby showed his love for you and that you and his ex are fine. That really helps that she clearly defined that she and him were not meant to be anymore and she appreciated that he has a wonderful wife who does love him and who he loves!!!

 

CONGRATULATIONS on the 30 years of marriage!!! :love::bunny: That's awesome and it is so great to learn from your wisdom and experience.

 

Love you!!!

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RiverRunning

We've been together for 4 years. The first 2 years were very trying - but I'm glad we can balance the good here with the bad. It gets so easy to forget the good side of things.

 

I'll preface this memory by saying My ex-boyfriend was very cruel to my pseudo-nephew (biologically, my first cousin once removed), who is now 6. He'd ignore him or push him away (he was jealous of the kid).

 

My boyfriend was always very good to my cousin. We had been dating for about 8 months and went to a party. My boyfriend basically took over baby-sitting the kid (he was about 2 then): taking him to the play-set at the park, playing kickball with him for about 3 hours. Today, they're very close: he looks up to my boyfriend. But that was one moment when I really thought: "He might be the one for me."

 

I met his family on Christmas day after we had been dating for a few months. My grandpa was dying at the time and I thought my stomach was just upset. First visit to these peoples' house, I had to keep going to the bathroom to throw up. Turns out I had the flu. I was so embarrassed. He stayed with me really late that night, bringing me water and medicine and keeping me bundled up.

 

The first time he was actually willing to discuss baby names with me, and didn't turn his head away.

 

The first time we bid on a house (didn't get it, drat), but stood in the big backyard, him hugging me, while we talked about how it would be a nice place for our kids to grow up.

 

When I still lived with my parents (and my mom's a total nutter), she and I got into a huge fight and I was kicked out. He gave me a place to stay for a week and kept asking me how I was feeling. Gave me distance when I needed it and a shoulder to cry on when I needed it.

 

I've never doubted his love or his commitment to me. He's never made me feel like I'm worthless or a burden. He's a great guy and I'm very lucky to be marrying him.

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That is a powerful moment when you met her! I am so glad that your hubby showed his love for you and that you and his ex are fine. That really helps that she clearly defined that she and him were not meant to be anymore and she appreciated that he has a wonderful wife who does love him and who he loves!!!

 

CONGRATULATIONS on the 30 years of marriage!!! :love::bunny: That's awesome and it is so great to learn from your wisdom and experience.

 

Love you!!!

 

 

Love you too, lass! :love: xxx

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Every year we return at least once to the scene of our honeymoon. We'd been there a couple of times before we married, and because we'd both been so taken with it we decided to honeymoon there. As a result we've become "regulars" and have a huge bank of wonderful memories invested in the place, along with a vast archive of photos.

 

Some of these are as simple as sitting around on the circle of stones cooking over the open fire next to the cottage, rubbing after-sun cream into each other's backs, listening to the frogs and the nightjars and looking up at the stars, and others as intricate as specific conversations held with specific people at specific restaurants on specific occasions, stamped with the indelible imprint of what we ate, what my wife wore, the nose of the wine and the music that played. We are truly blessed.

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Mme. Chaucer

I hope this doesn't come off as a "buzzkiller" to your positive and loving thread. It truly is not meant that way.

 

One of my dear friends was married to her high school sweetheart for many years, until he succumbed to a terrible battle with cancer in his brain.

 

Yesterday was the anniversary of his death and I watched a beautiful memorial video she shared. I saw pictures of D when he was a little boy, when he was a goofy kid, when he was in high school and they started dating, and on and on.

 

It made me cry. It always does.

 

And it made me really happy, too, that people can share their lives like that.

 

It's a true gift, and we don't really "have" anything in this world, except for right in the moment. So if you do have it, love it hard!

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Shoot! That gave me tears. It's so important to be thankful and make the most of people, and love.

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I'm not sure this is the thread for it, but it reminded me...

 

I was talking to my counsellor this week about how my life has taken a total 180, and there's times I need to pinch myself. I was telling her how positive I feel, how great life is. I said that I keep thinking I'll walk out of the house and get run over by a bus! (Even though I don't live on a bus route!)

She said:

 

"Ah! You've reached the final stage. Stage 3.

Stage 1, you spent months worrying he was going to turn in to a monster or become some Machiavellian character complete with cape... But eventually you accepted what you see is what you get. Which was a great moment.

 

Stage 2, you convinced yourself that seeing as he wasn't a baddie then it must be YOU who was going to mess things up. You talked about ending it with him, and all the ways you might ruin things. You had triggers from the bad treatment from your ex, and you had a couple of big wobbles, but that passed.

 

Stage 3... You've accepted that you and he are as good together as it seems, and so now - because you can't believe how happy you are - you think it must be something out of your control that messes it all up. But do you know what? It's OUT OF YOUR CONTROL. If it happens, it happens, there's nothing you can do. That makes it all the more important to lap it up and enjoy :D"

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BetheButterfly
I hope this doesn't come off as a "buzzkiller" to your positive and loving thread. It truly is not meant that way.

 

One of my dear friends was married to her high school sweetheart for many years, until he succumbed to a terrible battle with cancer in his brain.

 

Yesterday was the anniversary of his death and I watched a beautiful memorial video she shared. I saw pictures of D when he was a little boy, when he was a goofy kid, when he was in high school and they started dating, and on and on.

 

It made me cry. It always does.

 

And it made me really happy, too, that people can share their lives like that.

 

It's a true gift, and we don't really "have" anything in this world, except for right in the moment. So if you do have it, love it hard!

 

It's not a buzzkill at all!!! Thanks so much for sharing this and it made me really happy to read it! It's so beautiful how love endures even till after death parts the lovers.

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My wife is great in a crisis. I really appreciate this as in my previous marriage I always had to be the calm, sensible one while everyone went to pieces around me, which got quite stressful. My wife on the other hand calmly takes control, reasons things out and gives everyone something useful to do and it settles the situation instantly.

 

A few years back we were trapped on a peninsula that had been cut off by a bush fire. She drove the car down to the beach and suggested we take a swim while we waited for the firefighters to secure a safe passage through the flames. We cuddled in the water and watched terrified wildlife seek sanctuary on the shore mere metres from us, deafened by the roar of the blaze. We watched the helicopters scooping up water to dump on the flames, and when the noise quietened and the colour of the smoke changed she suggested we drive back to the cordon to see if we could get through. They were just opening the road, the tar was still boiling in places, but we got through safely and collapsed into a heap on the bed when we got back and made love for ages. Dying in each others' arms is all very romantic, but living in each others' arms so much more attractive!

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