Originally Posted by moonmosaic
Last night we had huge fight because I could not get him to see the pig picture about how irresponsible he was - spending all the deposits and rent money - he just kept saying that I only cared about money and as a wife I should be supportive and help him out in difficult times like this
Has anyone been in a situation where their spouse did something irresponsible and you needed to pick up the pieces? What should I do? I don't want to be liable and responsible for this mobile home!
Thanks for reading...
I will not for one second say that you are not right in being so angry.
you have every right to be frustrated and pissed.
The line I put in bold is not used to make you feel bad, but I see it as an opening to get a real discussion going with your H.
I think we all need to be acknowledged and you need for him to see that he's make terrible financial choices that are dragging both of you down, but he needs to feel that you always got his back.
I think that maybe the next time you discuss this issue - you should acknowledge that yes you are his wife and you will support him, but that there are major issues that you need to sort out in order for you to both to have financial security, peace of mind and a less stressful relationship.
I dunno if I'm rambling about nothing, but I do find that sometimes when I argue with my boyfriend, I feel that we both want out side to be heard that we completely miss really listening to one another, and I've been trying really hard to keep that in mind, so that when he mentions something that really gets to him, I acknowledge it and I do my best to change it and I only promise him things I can keep my word on - and he's doing the same with me - I find that we resolve our issues way better than we did (a long time ago) - because we're really listening to what the other is saying.
I'm sorry, I'm not married and I don't have the first clue on how to make that work with all the stress of financial stuff added to it.
The only thing I can suggest is that you both CALMLY talk and that you acknowledge his needs, and then state yours (CALMLY) and maybe draw out a list (together) of the pros and cons of keeping the trailer home and how that will affect whatever future plans you 2 have together, whatever goals you 2 hope to achieve in the future that absolutely need that financial security - ie. kids (maybe), or traveling, or changing jobs - bigger house - whatever it is that you guys want to do.
If you cant come to an agreement on stuff now, then maybe its time for professional counseling. I dunno....
good luck to you