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lack of sex


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I am married to a fantastic man who I love with all my heart. The problem is, I never seem to have energy to make love to him. He is very patient and does not complain, but I know it is not fair to him. I work 12 hours a day and try to take care of three kids and the house. How can I make myself feel in the mood for him? I really need someones advice on this.

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dalmatianbaby

I wish I had an answer for you. I feel your pain. Sometimes I feel like life doesn't want to let me have sex anymore. Time and exhaustion just don't allow it. If you get some good replies (and I'm sure you will) pass them my way.

 

Good luck to you,

Dalmatianbaby

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ArdeaCandidissima

How about working less?

 

He shares the house and kid work fairly, and gives you breaks.

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In a situation like this, dwelling on the problem or trying to force the act isn't the answer. Even if you can manage to have some romantic time once a week, that would probably be more than enough given that there hasn't been much of anything in the past. Do you have spare time on the weekend? I understand that with work, children and household chores it leaves little time to yourself. And with that time you probably just want to relax.

 

However, if you can get the kids out of the house, maybe to a friend's or a sitter and just have a quiet dinner and rekindle the passion a little bit, it'll make you both feel great. I wouldn't feel bad about it, just be honest with him about why you haven't been interested lately. Maybe he'll work with you on organizing a romantic evening.

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:bunny:

 

Just a thought here about being tired.

 

Is it possible to share time with other mums in your area. The kids and you benefit and some of the time can be used for a bit of exercise.

 

Just twenty minutes a day of light exercise will alter your energy levels totally. No exercise and your body fails to burn fats properly. The darn stuff ends up just where you don't want it !

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  • 3 weeks later...
Faerie Princess

I agree with the person who said have him pitch in with all that work. Nothing is as sexy as a clean kitchen and dinner you didn't have to make and sleeping children!

 

I know sometimes letting yourself go, even though you're so tired, and having some fun with your spouse can help with your energy levels.

 

Do you have time to watch tv? Type on the computer? Read? Even 30 minutes? You could not do those things and have sex instead! It's an aerobic workout that might give you a lift, and will probably be more enriching and satisfying than what's happening on "friends" or whatever the big show is these days.

 

You might try saying "honey, I really feel like I'm not giving you enough sexual pleasure, and my energy levels and fatigue are a big part of that. Could we spend some time tonight just doing some heavy petting? If I'm too pooped I'd feel really special if you lay next to me and pleased yourself while I drift off to sleep."

 

You might find that once you get started, you don't want to stop!

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