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Wife Likes Young Boys


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BeyondLimits

I'm a bit in shock now,but I recently found another bit of 'evidence' that my wife likes young boys. She's in her 40s and these boys are her son's(my stepson's) teenage friends. There's signs all around pointing to where this may lead...

First off,'cougars' are the popular thing now. Secondly,she's obsessed with that movie Twilight and moreso it's young stars and young men in general.

I'm 38 and even I can keep it in my pants when I see young girls!

 

This is just another straw on the already breaking back of our relationship.

 

I understand she's under stress from her job or whatever,but is this how she likes to spend her weekends...cavorting with her son and his friends?? Whenever they come over it's like she goes from 40-something to a teenager again,this includes purchasing cigarettes for 13 year olds and getting fall-down drunk in front of them.

 

But the other day was the kicker,she already knows how much it upsets me when he brings his rambunctious friends to the house for 'sleepovers'(which turn out to be just them running about the house all weekend and thus keeping me awake),so the other day I had it when he showed up with them. Obviously there's no respect about how I feel,so I up and left to stay over a family member's house. When I came back I found photos of half naked boys in OUR bedroom! What insult to injury! Not only am I driven out of my own house but it becomes a party place!

 

My friends tell me I should have been gone long ago.

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It sounds like your wife is getting into that comfort stage where she has moved from fantasy to taking action.

She may be moving on to sleeping with these boys if she hasn't yet. If she is after your son's friends it wouldn't come as a surprise if she hadn't already used your son in that same fashion.

I myself am a victim of abuse. My mother abandoned me when I needed her and to this day refuses to talk to me about what happened. I can never forgive her for that. Don't let the same thing happen to your son...talk to him and get him in therapy before its too late!

And in regards to your wife...you should leave her before you become apathetic to the situation thus allowing any future accessory charges to be applied to you if it goes that far.

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Trialbyfire

It's a plus that she's working and not a SAHM. This will help in with defraying costs associated to potential alimony.

 

I hope you didn't adopt her child/children. Get a good divorce lawyer and get some legal advice you can rely on, that's pertinent to your jurisdiction.

 

Get the hell outta' of this marriage, with an irresponsible teenager. Don't waste anymore time and emotion.

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stillafool

Yeah I don't know what's happening these days. Look at Hulk Hogan's wife. She left him for a 19 or 20 year old. Also all these teachers who are sleeping with 13 and 14 year old boys. I feel for you as that must be uncomfortable. But, if I were you I would man-up and take control over my home and kick those boys out.

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First, I would make every attempt to get the boy into therapy. Then, I would talk to a divorce lawyer. How long have you been married and can the boy live with you? This is an abusive situation.

 

As a side note, I don't think "cougars" go after underage boys (I may be wrong). I think they just go after young men. Also, many women find the charector Edward attractive. It has nothing to do with his age (teenager or old man, depending on how you look at it).

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I'm a bit in shock now,but I recently found another bit of 'evidence' that my wife likes young boys. She's in her 40s and these boys are her son's(my stepson's) teenage friends. There's signs all around pointing to where this may lead...

First off,'cougars' are the popular thing now. Secondly,she's obsessed with that movie Twilight and moreso it's young stars and young men in general.

I'm 38 and even I can keep it in my pants when I see young girls!

 

This is just another straw on the already breaking back of our relationship.

 

I understand she's under stress from her job or whatever,but is this how she likes to spend her weekends...cavorting with her son and his friends?? Whenever they come over it's like she goes from 40-something to a teenager again,this includes purchasing cigarettes for 13 year olds and getting fall-down drunk in front of them.

 

But the other day was the kicker,she already knows how much it upsets me when he brings his rambunctious friends to the house for 'sleepovers'(which turn out to be just them running about the house all weekend and thus keeping me awake),so the other day I had it when he showed up with them. Obviously there's no respect about how I feel,so I up and left to stay over a family member's house. When I came back I found photos of half naked boys in OUR bedroom! What insult to injury! Not only am I driven out of my own house but it becomes a party place!

 

My friends tell me I should have been gone long ago.

 

Whoah! You need to intervene or somebody has to! Your wife is not only doing something ILLEGAL, she might be on the verge of some kind of psych episode.

 

Take back control or have you even had it in the first place? It IS your home, it IS your bedroom, it IS your life!

 

Your wife needs major "waking up". You MUST do it for her. She is on a destructive path both to herself and her family.

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LucreziaBorgia

Other parents will find out soon enough and your problems will be taken care of legally. Be prepared for that eventuality.

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Get your ducks in a row quickly and get your kid out of there before she self destructs. You want to be as far away from that mess as you can.

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I'm a bit in shock now,but I recently found another bit of 'evidence' that my wife likes young boys. She's in her 40s and these boys are her son's(my stepson's) teenage friends. There's signs all around pointing to where this may lead...

First off,'cougars' are the popular thing now. Secondly,she's obsessed with that movie Twilight and moreso it's young stars and young men in general.

I'm 38 and even I can keep it in my pants when I see young girls!

 

This is just another straw on the already breaking back of our relationship.

 

I understand she's under stress from her job or whatever,but is this how she likes to spend her weekends...cavorting with her son and his friends?? Whenever they come over it's like she goes from 40-something to a teenager again,this includes purchasing cigarettes for 13 year olds and getting fall-down drunk in front of them.

 

But the other day was the kicker,she already knows how much it upsets me when he brings his rambunctious friends to the house for 'sleepovers'(which turn out to be just them running about the house all weekend and thus keeping me awake),so the other day I had it when he showed up with them. Obviously there's no respect about how I feel,so I up and left to stay over a family member's house. When I came back I found photos of half naked boys in OUR bedroom! What insult to injury! Not only am I driven out of my own house but it becomes a party place!

 

My friends tell me I should have been gone long ago.

 

I'd be careful of getting in legal trouble either someone saying your accomplice(ie by not reporting this to the authorities), or if your wife(or anyone else) tries to pin this on you. I would get the police involved, before your wife goes from looking at child porn and buying them cigarettes and such to sleeping with them. Certainly less jail time with the former, but I think you need to get her away from your kid immediately.

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LucreziaBorgia

I should probably also mention that if it gets out that you knew about this and did nothing, that you are going to be in a similar line of fire and would be the target of criminal charges and civil suits. I have a kid going on 13 and if I found out that a friend of her's parent was getting sexual, providing cigs and alcohol and the other parent knew and did nothing, I'd go after them BOTH with both barrels. I'm sure these parents will do the same.

 

Seriously, I'd be talking to a detective about this - like yesterday to save yourself and your family as much trouble as you can. Be the fit parent that she refuses to be.

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Woah!!!! As being someone who is told I am a 'cougar' myself, I gotta say this draws the line. FIRST off.. these actions of hers are completely disrespectful to you! Feeling an attraction to young hot guys is an invigorating feeling when a woman reaches a certain age. I know it frieks me out that my looks are guarenteed to deplete after 40yrs old and holding onto the one thing woman are praised for most in our society, youthful beauty, indulging into youthfulness comes as a natural reaction... HOWEVER, I am not married and I do not have a son/step son. I would not indulge into my little brother's freinds, nor would I marry if I could not commit to the obligations in a marriage. You are being walked on. And your wife is seeking unhealthy ways to feel beautiful. You need to get your respect back and it's not by yelling screaming or leaving. The problem she is having is obvious. Deal with the problem. Eliminate your wife's need to seek feeling young and beautiful elsewhere. Get dressed up and go out on a date! She wants to feel Alive! Have some drinks and have sex in the back of the car or spontaneously get a nice hotel room with a bubbly hot tub. Have sex on the beach! Tell her how beutiful she is. YOU make her feel Sexy and young and she won't have that void to fill. Gain your respect back and be a loving husband she Will Respect. Before you thrown in the towel, use it to clean up this mess. Think of your son. This can't be healthy for him to witness. Good Luck

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stillafool

Is it just me or if the roles were reversed and the husband was looking at 13 year old girls, etc. we would call him a pediphile. Why isn't the same thing applying here?

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Just to add, I don't think I'm being alarmist, but I think you need to worry about stopping your child and his friends from being molested(from the way you paint things, this appears to be a strong possibility) or being subject to other abuse, before you even think about your marriage....

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Toodamnpragmatic
Woah!!!! As being someone who is told I am a 'cougar' myself, I gotta say this draws the line. FIRST off.. these actions of hers are completely disrespectful to you! Feeling an attraction to young hot guys is an invigorating feeling when a woman reaches a certain age. I know it frieks me out that my looks are guarenteed to deplete after 40yrs old and holding onto the one thing woman are praised for most in our society, youthful beauty, indulging into youthfulness comes as a natural reaction... HOWEVER, I am not married and I do not have a son/step son. I would not indulge into my little brother's freinds, nor would I marry if I could not commit to the obligations in a marriage. You are being walked on. And your wife is seeking unhealthy ways to feel beautiful. You need to get your respect back and it's not by yelling screaming or leaving. The problem she is having is obvious. Deal with the problem. Eliminate your wife's need to seek feeling young and beautiful elsewhere. Get dressed up and go out on a date! She wants to feel Alive! Have some drinks and have sex in the back of the car or spontaneously get a nice hotel room with a bubbly hot tub. Have sex on the beach! Tell her how beutiful she is. YOU make her feel Sexy and young and she won't have that void to fill. Gain your respect back and be a loving husband she Will Respect. Before you thrown in the towel, use it to clean up this mess. Think of your son. This can't be healthy for him to witness. Good Luck

 

 

Can I say Eww.... Remind me never to get involved with a "cougar" if this is the norm..... Oops forgot I am too old....:p

 

WTF does this have to do with the the OP and what looks like a female pedophile. At first I thought it would be 18 yo boys, but no it is 13 yo and she took half naked pictures and gave them cigs and probably booze.

 

I'd get a lawyer tomorrow and discuss your course of action, before you too are arrested.

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BeyondLimits
It sounds like your wife is getting into that comfort stage where she has moved from fantasy to taking action.

She may be moving on to sleeping with these boys if she hasn't yet. If she is after your son's friends it wouldn't come as a surprise if she hadn't already used your son in that same fashion.

 

And in regards to your wife...you should leave her before you become apathetic to the situation thus allowing any future accessory charges to be applied to you if it goes that far.

 

It's possible she has become bored in the marriage...I happened to be reading something from a Dr.Phil relationship book and one of the things he said was that most women have this Hollywood idea of a romance and if things don't measure up then well you can imagine. Thanks Hollywood and thanks romance novels:rolleyes: That's like men becoming obsessed with porn.

 

Anyway,in my observations it doesn't seem she is actually doing anything with the boys because I joked about it with her before and she gave some supposed reasons why she wouldn't go that young...the legal issues is an obvious one. Though we've only been together 5 years and I don't know that side of her. Anyone can have a midlife crisis at any time.

 

As for becoming apathetic,that is not my personality so it would not happen. I am very proactive.

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BeyondLimits
It's a plus that she's working and not a SAHM. This will help in with defraying costs associated to potential alimony.

 

Not only that,but I feel if she wasn't working who knows how much else could go on! Right now they're pretty much here just on weekends.

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BeyondLimits
But, if I were you I would man-up and take control over my home and kick those boys out.

 

That's the main conflict,it's her kid. I'm the step-dad...I'm no one.

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BeyondLimits
I'd be careful of getting in legal trouble either someone saying your accomplice(ie by not reporting this to the authorities), or if your wife(or anyone else) tries to pin this on you.

 

Luckily I try and avoid them when they're here,this latest happened when I got fed up and went away for the night so I have an alibi anyway.

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beyond limits, you'd better get moving on this REAL quick! or your azz is gonna be sitting in prison too. these kids mouths talk real fast to their friends,not going to take long until some parent finds out,and your azz is history,either by a angry parent,or cops.your choice.

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burning 4 revenge

This isn't a midlife crisis BeyondLimits, theres something really disturbing here

 

It isn't normal for women in their forties to flirt with teenage boys. If she was chasing guys in their twenties Id say she was immature and you should obviously get out, but this isn't even standard immaturity

 

Your wife has issues that are way beyond your control

 

Its pretty obvious what you need to do and I think you know it intellectually, but I think maybe you're still emotionally invested and that's where the conflict is

 

Man up and get ready to face the world alone again

 

Its probably going to happen one way or another, so you might as well take the first step and walk

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burning 4 revenge
Luckily I try and avoid them when they're here,this latest happened when I got fed up and went away for the night so I have an alibi anyway.

I missed this before, but read what you wrote to yourself

 

You feel you need an alibi to shield you from things that happen in your own house and to protect you from the highly disturbing actions of your own wife

 

Do you think she respects you?

 

Instead of taking a stand you run away while she cavorts with teenage boys

 

This is a prime example of the emasculation of men in our society. It isn't beause women have too many rights...when it comes down to it men let themsleves be walked on, because they are selfish and fear being alone

 

If you allow your wife to continue this behavior I dont feel sorry for you, I think youre weak

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BeyondLimits
Is it just me or if the roles were reversed and the husband was looking at 13 year old girls, etc. we would call him a pediphile. Why isn't the same thing applying here?

 

That's one of the first things that came to mind and what also got me more steamed. If,as a male,I am supposed to dismiss any similar thoughts that may cross my mind for females(which they rarely do I can proudly say)...then why can't she do the same? Funny how I was the reluctant one to want marriage,but I seem to be upholding the vows better!

And yes,she can dismiss the boys being in her room as nothing...but you can be sure as hell if I was doing that with girls things would be way different!

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BeyondLimits
At first I thought it would be 18 yo boys, but no it is 13 yo and she took half naked pictures and gave them cigs and probably booze.

 

I must clarify that she did not provide cigs to all the kids. Her own son does not like smoking but his friend somehow smokes and one time when she was at the store she purchased them for him. As for the alcohol,as far as I'm aware she did not provide it for the kids but did drink in front of them.

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BeyondLimits
beyond limits, you'd better get moving on this REAL quick! or your azz is gonna be sitting in prison too. these kids mouths talk real fast to their friends,not going to take long until some parent finds out,and your azz is history,either by a angry parent,or cops.your choice.

 

From what I've heard,it's not exactly sterile when the kids stay over at the other kid's houses either. They pretty much have run of the places.

Plus I'm sure the other parents have probably heard by now what a drill sargeant I am(when I do have my say) so they probably would be thinking the opposite of me as far as contributing in any manner.

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BeyondLimits

Its pretty obvious what you need to do and I think you know it intellectually, but I think maybe you're still emotionally invested and that's where the conflict is

 

Man up and get ready to face the world alone again

 

Its probably going to happen one way or another, so you might as well take the first step and walk

 

You seem to have a better understanding of it than most of my friends who are always telling me how crazy I am to keep staying...they don't realize there are some emotional investments here. And somehow even though I don't remember the vows,subconsciously I seem to be doing the whole through thick and thin deal...that and perhaps I've been known to milk things to the bitter end:cool:

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