PandorasBox Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 How come it is, some people on here and in RL too, but here epscially, have been burned by a relationship and seem so bitter, and there are others who have been burned as well, but not as bitter. What makes some be able to move on and let go of the bittereness and some just hang on to it? Are they afraid to let go of it, doesn't it keep people at a bitter/negative place in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 I was asking myself the same question today.. I called a young woman last night who is suicidal, her H left her for another woman over 3 years ago.. she just can't move on.. she is soooo bitter, angry, desperate... frustrated that he took away what she thought was a great marriage. Thing is.. she is/was very selfish.. she doesn't care about HIS happiness... it's what she lost that is making her soo mad.. I can understand to some degree.. but gosh.. why can't she move on. She constantly feed on this bitterness.. it's like she likes to be the 'victim' .. she obsessed about them (they moved together, the H and the OW and now have a little baby girl, few weeks ago) and I think it's what triggered her madness.. She wants him to die.. The doctor told her the other day to go directly to the hospital, as she was suicidal.. she didn't leave her much choice.. but they didn't keep her. My last ex's exW was exactly like that.. she was obsessed with me.. harassed us.. it was hell for the 5 years I was with him... It seems that some people, the bitter ones.. who can't move on.. become psychotic and completely loses their sanity.. the bitterness completely turns their 'reasoning' off.. they can't think straight.. they can't function.. sometimes.. they are 'prisoners' of their own bitterness. It's sad.. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Tomorrow is a new day and you can do as you please with it. I am not bitter about any of the burnings I got. Just part of life and makes the good ones all that much better. I don't get it when people just "hold on". It's over it's over..... all the wishin' and a' hopin' ain't gonna bring it back. So move on and enjoy life. I think you choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PandorasBox Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 Tomorrow is a new day and you can do as you please with it. I am not bitter about any of the burnings I got. Just part of life and makes the good ones all that much better. I don't get it when people just "hold on". It's over it's over..... all the wishin' and a' hopin' ain't gonna bring it back. So move on and enjoy life. I think you choose. That's pretty much how I am. I was burned, and even though I may have been hurt or upset at the time, I didn't CHOOSE to continue to hold on to it. So you're right, I do think its a choice. I guess maybe some people enjoy being in that comfortable miserable zone if that makes sense. I see where there are some who try real hard to convince themselves they are not bitter too but it still comes across as they are too, with they way they feel about certain things. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I just finished reformatting the computer my ex left behind, thousands of saved pictures of big breasted 20 yr olds, tons of emails to different women complete with pics traded back and forth. Him telling one woman how perfect and beautiful her large breasts where,how hungry he was for the touch of a "real woman like her after years of being stuck with a dried up old hag.. he told this woman that my body resembled "2 fried eggs nailed to an ironing board" I'm not bitter, I'm sad, so sad and so ashamed.. because as bad as it was... he was telling it straight and true. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm not bitter but am a tad cynical and wary about relationships in general. If the right guy happens along, great. If he doesn't, oh well, I'll just keep dating whomever I want and continue enjoying my current freedom! Link to post Share on other sites
fmlyhm Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Maybe, the person, you loved and thought you knew, just couldn't tell you straight up it was over. NO- they took the chicken **** way out and let you try to get them back, all the while knowing they are done. They drag your heart around as a prize, for everyone to see and laugh at your efforts.... and tell you the whole time, you're the only one. They make a fool of you and they never tell you they are sorry for it. They make YOU a joke and enjoy every minute. I hope it never happens to you. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Some are bitter without even being burned. They just cannot see the good, the pleasure, the beauty in anything. They are only happy when miserable. Sadly, they tend to poison their children in that way too, though I guess it creates employment for therapists. Link to post Share on other sites
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