JLMickey Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 I have been married for six months. When we got married, I moved in with my husband because he already owned a home and I was living in an apartment. The problem is, my husband had a roommate living with him in his home (his best friend) prior to our marriage... and the guy hasn't moved out yet!!! He's driving me crazy. I'd always imagined quiet evenings at home with my new husband, snuggling on the couch after work, reading together, basically just getting that newlywed time that people need. Well, we can't do that because there's ALWAYS a third party involved (we'll call him "D"). D is always in our living room, watching TV (ESPN--- CONSTANTLY), and we have no private time. The worst thing is, the other night, while at a party, D chose to announce to the entire room, "These two (pointing at us) fight WAY too much for a newly married couple!" I was MORTIFIED and I don't find it D's business to announce. Furthermore, we don't fight very often... maybe once every three weeks, but it's never anything serious. Now we've found out we're expecting a baby already-- and D still has no plans of moving out. How can he? He only works 20 hours a week and makes next to nothing. He is 37-years-old!!! I find it very weird that I am forced to live with my husband and some other dude. It's almost at the point where I'm ready to move out and say, "This was a mistake. We'll be fine, single parents." I just can't deal with this anymore!! What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Sorry, he has to go. What the hell is your husband thinking? If bff D is more important than you, then you have a serious problem. Link to post Share on other sites
corazoncito Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 I've never had a roommate while living with a partner and would only consider it if we were really in dire straits financially and there were no other options. I know others who have done this for financial reasons, but when things got serious, they nicely explained to the roomate that they would no longer be renting out the spare room. With a baby coming, it seems like needing the room for a nursery is a good excuse for asking him to move on. I really feel for you and your situation. I would not be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Your particular situation doesn't sound very healthy. My youngest son and his wife recently bought their first house. He's let one of his friends live with them for the past two years and a year ago moved his mother in with them. He's the only one of our five children who will have anything to do with her. He and his wife are expecting their first child in December, they have a new home and they live in the basement because of having two house guests. Very weird if you ask me. My son says the friend pays rent and his mother does all the cooking, cleaning and laundry but he also just quit his job, plans to take care of the baby and send his wife back to work then attend some non-denominational seminary and become some sort of minister or preacher. I tell you, the boy's weird. Of course, he always has been! As for your situation, if your husband isn't aware of your discomfort then he should be made aware. It will then be incumbent on him to give his friend a firm timeline to move out. If he's not willing to put you and his family first then it doesn't seem like a very strong marriage. Perhaps he should move in with my son and his wife, friend and mother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JLMickey Posted October 28, 2007 Author Share Posted October 28, 2007 Oh, yeah, forgot to mention it... D is bi-sexual (or at least "sexually confused" he said. I personally think he's homosexual, but not ready to commit to the title 100%). Now, I'm not saying he's in love with my husband or anything, but I do find it weird that he's so dependent on my husband for companionship. It's like he can't be without him. For example, right now, it's Saturday night and they went to a soccer game together. What's the pregnant wife doing? Sitting at home on the Internet!! If I weren't pregnant, this would be a no-brainer, but there's a little person to consider now. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 Did you know this guy lived there when you got married? If so, you should have put your foot down then. I would be very uncomfortable in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
hollaxatholly Posted October 28, 2007 Share Posted October 28, 2007 sounds like a nice movie to me, i can just imagine vince vaughn or something lol i don't know why.... I would say it's not healthy. I mean, I can understand that the guy was living there and he may not be in a position to move but I think you should talk to your husband. I think he should of already made some sort of plan BEFORE you all were married, for him to be gone but...things happen. Either way, I'd suggest mentioning it to your husband, in a nice way, that you all are married and even now expecting a child and that you think it would be best if his friend found his own place. If not, maybe you all could find a new place? I don't know. I wouldn't think either of them would have a problem with it. I would think the friend would understand. I mean maybe not just kick him out or anything like that but maybe give him a few months, even. explain to him the situation...give him a little time to save up the money if he's not doing so good. Then if your husband refuses, consider the single parent option. good luck..that must be a little bit rough. Link to post Share on other sites
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