Wife Got Drunk Pushed Very Hard 2 go to Strip Club Now She is Angry
My wife and I went out to a regular dance club and had plenty of drinks until we were wasted, then she started talking about wanting to go to a strip club and check it out. I said "not interested" multiple times, but she insisted. So finally I gave in. Once there she wanted to order a lapdance, I said "no" she said "quit being a damn prude." So I gave in yet again. THen when we were getting the dance she started touching and rubbing and even kissing the body (no sex). She would put my hands on the stripper and insist I do the same stuff. After awhile I just did it and after 5 dances and more drinks we left. Next morning She is pist and says I got her drunk and took advanrtage. Everytime I say "you are the one that made me" or I say "you were doing the same thing." She runs out of the house or hangs up the phone. Now she wants a divorce. Help me Folks.
She's behaving very irresponsibly and hypocritically. Is this a one-off, or is she often over the top, dramatic, and two-faced with ridiculous double-standards like this? If it's the latter, then I would take her up on the divorce offer. If it's a one-off, just give her a week to calm down, then politely but firmly insist on getting to the bottom of it all. Do not accept anything less than a full apology and promise not to do it again.
Either way, don't let her put you on the defensive. Calmly turn it around into a discussion expecting her to explain her behavior. Don't escalate the anger by adding more of yours to the discussion, but just keep directing it back to your expectation of her explaining herself. "I know what I was doing; I was responding to your requests. What were you doing, if now you're so angry about it?"
Does she have other behavioral trouble while she's drunk? Unable to control herself, or refuses to take responsibility for her actions while under the influence? Or, as the others have asked, is this a first time thing? If she can't control herself while she's drunk, and that then creates marital problems, I think a "no more alcohol" policy is a good idea...
I was thinking a similar thing to the others - whether it's that she was turned on by the stripper, or just generally embarrassed at what she did and how much control she lost while intoxicated, maybe her guilt is making her lash out. Anger is a great denial tool for one's own responsibility, and turning it into "it's your fault" is a pretty natural way to accomplish that.
I'm sorry i have some problems with this story.
One every club i have even been in has a strict no touching policy. All the club owners know that vice cops are in their clubs all the time undercover. Who would risk a multi million dollar bussiness by letting some guy or girl step over the line and touch a dancer.
Even if the story is true. Are you sure you are not the one that instead on going to the club? Has your wife ever said anything that would make you think she was bi Curious?
She does act out, but not to this extent. Last night I sent her a phone text message saying "Stop this nonsense. Let's just say we were drunk, it was stupid, never again and we'll forget it all." Her response was "I might consider ur proposition to forget it."
Today she calls and says nothing and talks about other stuff. I did not mention the issue.
Responding to the post about no-touching policies. It happened South of the border. As for the strip club I insisted on NOT going. If one of my buddies wanted to go, then it might be different, but not with my own wife.
in the past she said she had gave & recvd oral with one girl one time, but it did not do that much for her. That night while she was drunk at the lap dance she said she enjoyed licking the nipples, but did not want a p**** in or on her face. She said the nipples and beautiful breasts made her hot, but p**** didn't do anything for her.
I don't know, I still think you would be letting her off pretty easy to just 'forget it.' She "might consider" your proposition, like she is in the driver's seat here? Isn't it still a source of concern that she insisted and convinced you to do something that she later gave you grief for? I think this would create some serious responsibility and trust issues for me...
I'm not saying she made you do something against your will - you are still responsibile for your own actions and choices; I don't hear you shirking that. I'm just saying she not only approved and encouraged you down a path, but also joined you on that journey, and then later turned on you. I would find that quite confusing and concerning.
Agreeing to write it off as a drunken foray is a comfortable and convenient was of not dealing with whatever marital issue fueled this interaction between you.
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