confusedgeek Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 I guess this is going to be a long one. So, if you can bear it, thank you for your time. Basically, I've never dated anyone. It's been going for about 27 years dateless. Scratch that, make that 28 years since its 2006. It wasnt until a few months ago until I had the balls to ask a girl out for a cup of coffee. That didnt go so well. So, I turned to internet, to practice talking with women. Since then, I chatted with lots of women, just so I can learn how to talk with the opposite sex. Chatting with women is a hell of a lot different from chatting with guys. At least, I think so. One day, I somehow managed to get this girl on my list and she got on to my list. It was pretty strange to meet someone like that. Let's call her Nina for now. Since early december, we've been chatting via text off and on for 3 weeks. About every single day. Nina was telling me about her life, post-graduate school, upcoming holidays, culture differences. I've learned a lot of things about her and her life. She's 24. She's living in asia (Information withheld to protect her privacy). In exchange, I started telling her about my life, work, sister, mom, living in the u.s. After chatting via text, we kind of switched from text to voice. We still text each other, but we talk over the phone more now after those 3 weeks of instant messaging. Switching from text to phone happened about 3 weeks ago. Sometimes our conversations went on for a few hours to like 8 hours. That was insane. We do always seem to talk a lot. She was asking if I was single, and I replied, yes. She said she was single too. She send me a picture of her and I sent a picture of myself. Nina is incredibly pretty, cute, great personality to talk too, and all that good stuff. She said I looked good. That was an ego booster if I ever heard one. Nina surprised me at that moment, asking if I could be her girlfriend. Which kind of took me back. I guess I was mumbling for about 10 minutes on the phone talking about the drawbacks of a long term distance relationship. I eventually said yes to her proposal of being the boyfriend. Now, statistically, I know long term relationships do not work. Especially this one which ranks in the single digit percentages. US. vs. Other Side of The Globe deal. Plus there is a difference between talking with someone, and talking with someone in person. Theres just too much unknown variables. I also mentioned that I would fly over to asia to meet her in December, if she was willing to wait for me. She said it was a long time and she would wait for me. For me, heck, whats 1 more year of not dating. Its not like Im going changing my lifestyle any time soon. Plus I need to save money to travel over there. Im not exactly well off. So, basically, thas my online romance thats going on right now. I hope everything goes well. But I could use a little bit more advice. We've known each other basically, almost 2 months now. Via voice and text messages. I've talked about work, friends, family, some hobbies, but I think im starting to run dry on topics soon. Basically, the question Im asking here is: Is there advice (tips and tricks in video game speak) to keep the relationship going until december before I can meet her? Link to post Share on other sites
ohbrother Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 woah man you are brave! well its good that you are going in about a year becuase it gives you a lot of time to see if it really is worth it. 2 months into and im sure it seems perfect and it might be! Sending actual letters is really cool, i love getting mail from my girlfriend its a new feeling that you dont get from chatting online or talking on the phone. I think you should start off with that, continue to chat/talk on the phone but sending letters adds it on another level. I say you get to know her as much as you can in this year finding out eveyrthing aobut her, her likes/dislikes, what makes her really happy/pissed off and make sure you really see a future with her. Also she mightbe able to help pay if its that far away. By then you guys will most likely have a strong foundation and would feel comfortable splitting the costs of you visiting. But try the letters! you can also send personal items and stuff to keep it interesting,im sure you will figure something out. good luck brother! Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedgeek Posted February 8, 2006 Author Share Posted February 8, 2006 Thank you for posting. I figured everyone left me off to die in ditch somewhere with the lack of responses. This advice you posted is totally perfect. I can send letters every now and again. I guess it does mean a lot more when something is tangible. Its not too expensive, and the cost is worth it. Plus, since I can get a mailing address, that is I hope she will give me her address, I can also send a single rose/flower for valentines day, so it seems more romantic. I wouldnt feel right asking her to pay me just to visit her. Its just not right. 1) Thats not cool 2) Im a guy =P She lives 6,000 miles away, at least according to Google. Its a darn far away. But the things you do for a relationship =) Thank you for the advice and please keep it coming. Im assuming you've have also send letters to your special someone as well, ohbrother? Link to post Share on other sites
ohbrother Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 yah i have sent letters! we both do every now and then its really cool, we also have a journal and we always spray our cologne/perfume on it on the last page we right on it brings back tons of feelings when you get the smell of when u first met them. The only problem with the journal is that if she likes to talk EVERYDAY like my girlfriend, then you really have nothing to write! Unfortunately i havent sent back the journal becuase she calls me way to much in my opinion but i guess its ok. seriously 12 hours on a friday then 10 the next day! i can only take so much! sunday i toldher i had to watch the superbowl !!!!(i dont like the superbowl). Lol she said "JOhn you dont like football!" and she called but i left my phone in a remote place so i wouldnt fee l guilty . man im mean. dang. well i dont know, bringing up that issue is something that would really hurt her so no no. haha but enough of my problems! Well the her helping pay might not look so bad in 1 year, i dont know if you realize how comfortable you can get with someone in 1 year. In the begining im sure you are watching what you say and stuff and trying to do everything perfect but in time it wont be like that, you treat them more as a part of you instead of someone you have to impress. the first 2 times i went and visited her i have payed my own trips but it was 300 each time not overseas rates! So maybe after a couple times eh?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedgeek Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 Thanks again ohbrother. I brought up the idea her and she loved it. So, Im off today to go buy a few cards and mail one off. Since we exchanged addresses, I secretly ordered up some flowers online to be delivered to her on valentine's day at 3 pm. I hope Nina will like the flowers i've sent to her in two days. Ill follow-up to see if she gets them. - ConfusedGeek Link to post Share on other sites
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