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-   -   Am I crazy for trying? (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/652004-am-i-crazy-trying)

Donohuek11 8th February 2018 12:59 PM

Am I crazy for trying?
 
Hello everyone! So I am an 18 year old living in NY, I go to a community college. So 5 months ago (September 9th) I met this girl who is a senior in high school who lives in Tennessee. We met online and have been talking non stop ever since. We skype whenever we can, we text, Snapchat etc. we have become super close, the closest Iíve ever been to a girl honestly and itís an amazing feeling knowing I can literally tell her anything. So our big ol plan is to meet in July. Everything has been going good so far, ups and down of course and as i said in another post she is going on a trip with boys in May and thatís gonna be a challenge I am gonna have to deal with, but getting back to my main point. We plan to meet in July, after that she will be going to college, we plan on doing trips back and fourth during college and eventually after one year of her at college I would transfer to her school. So the whole plan is in a year and a half to transfer to her college. Now I know I have not met her in real life but or ďemotionalĒ connection is amazing, one that Iíve never experienced before. We support each other thru everything and get along really well. So is this whole plan too much? Am I crazy to even try?

d0nnivain 8th February 2018 2:43 PM

It's not crazy to try. Love is about hope.

That said, slow down. You don't actually know this girl. You are also young so you don't have the life experience needed to make valid assessments.

Do keep talking to her. Make plans to meet but don't be secretive about it; make sure all the parents know where you are going. Be safe.

Unless you otherwise wanted to go to her college before you ever heard of her don't transfer schools just for her. Go there if it's your dream but not for her. Go on your own educational path & then when you both graduate you can make plans to get jobs closer to each other.

ExpatInItaly 9th February 2018 4:35 AM

I agree with d0nnivain's advice.

It's easy to get swept up in the fantasy of someone, but until you have spent time together in person, you are getting ahead of yourself.

lovecanbeharsh 11th February 2018 7:45 PM

I've been in a similar situation. What I've learned from my experience is you can never drop everything and pursue her, because if things don't work out (like in my case, roughly after a year of moving countries) you could be back to square one, maybe even more if the whole college thing doesn't work either.

1.) Get to physically know the girl first. In my case she was physically abusive (you don't know about that online). See how she handles arguments in person
2.) Spend quality time together months after the honeymoon period (I'm guessing we could call her your gf? if so she is probably your first. In that case you most likely lack the knowledge what exactly to expect.
3.) Love is blind, you will cross deserts and move mountains for her, but if there's anything to consider from what I have said, PLEASE only invest as much as she invests back. That means 50/50.
4.) Not to frighten you, but **** does happen in college, especially when you are in a LDR (I'll leave that part up to your imagination)

Should you move for her? First ask her if she's willing to move states for you just to test the waters. In my opinion you should only enrol there if it truly interests you (90%) and the other (10%) is a bonus, which is the girl.

You're not crazy, just loveblind like a year ago me.

Best of luck :)


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