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LDR between American woman and Pakistani man


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 12th December 2017, 12:01 PM   #16
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OP, regardless of what results with this guy, if you do consider the international thing in the future, I found the ex-pat test to effectively weed out the K1-K3 scammers pretty well. Show enthusiasm about exploring a move to their locale and see what results.
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Old 14th December 2017, 11:25 PM   #17
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OP, regardless of what results with this guy, if you do consider the international thing in the future, I found the ex-pat test to effectively weed out the K1-K3 scammers pretty well. Show enthusiasm about exploring a move to their locale and see what results.
Actually, he brought that up. He said Dubai is a great city and once I visit him I will be enthralled and want to stay there with him. He said if I like him in person I could live in Dubai with him.

I started telling him how close I am to my family, then he said he cannot take me away. So initially, he suggested I move there.


I read each and every response and thoroughly thought about this. I know one of my fatal flaws is I give the benefit of the doubt too much.

I am an extremely analytical person. I found his facebook. He types English on it sometimes. He seems to be the same personality on there who talks to me.

Thanks all who took time to respond. I am really unsure what to do right now. But I am not gonna make any moves to meet him anytime soon. I will just enjoy the 'relationship' as it is.....just realize it is a fantasy.

He wants to meet my parents on video chat for some reason too and I dunno why.....

Oh, and I am sorry it took me a bit to get back to this thread. I have an immediate family member who is getting ready to go through a surgery (he was critically injured last year) and I have spent a lot of time with him at the doctor's and hospital.

Thanks again everyone for the responses.

Oh and to the person who asked about my religion, I am an Agnostic who leans toward the existence of a God of sorts.
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Old 15th December 2017, 10:05 AM   #18
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I'd keep your parents out of this until after you meet him in person. They don't need to be video chatting with some guy you haven't decided to meet IRL yet
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Old 15th December 2017, 1:13 PM   #19
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So he is in love with a stranger on the other side of the world after chatting for what, 7 days?

Run. Run like the wind and don't look back.

I'm sorry OP, but I think he is one of the ones after an American visa.
Pretty much this. There are plenty of genuine international LDRs - they don't start off like this.

I mean, honestly, even if you met some dude at a bar IRL and 7 days later he keeps talking about getting married, would you REALLY want to date him? Clearly there would be a few cups missing in the cupboard or an ulterior motive. What makes this any different?
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Old 15th December 2017, 2:59 PM   #20
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OP, has he discussed at all what part of Pakistan his family resides in or, if no longer there, where they live? Has he discussed his family much?

I tend to align with the caution you shared, as others do, about him moving too fast. That might be cultural, IDK. I do know, in general, overall in life, the guys where were direct and speedy in their lust seemed to do better with women than guys like myself who were more circumspect and deliberate, or 'slow' as some ladies I dated pointed out. I can see signs of that in your responses, even with caution exhibited. His fervor excites you on some level.

Now, if you were serious and flexible, I can see some slots from the west coast US to DXB in early January for about 400 bucks one way. I usually do international longhaul on miles since it's a better deal but that's not bad. Layover in Denmark at CPH and done. Back when I was doing it I called it one sleep and I'm there. Same with all the overnight trains in Europe and Asia. Up to you. If you're not adventurous in general, I'd shelve the whole deal. If you are, there are ways.
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