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Who should relocate?


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My boyfriend lives 2 hours south of me. He wanted to move until he saw how my mom treats me, than he suggested I move in with him. However he's mid plans to move up here, lined up a job, applied as a volunteer firefighter, he is already one where he's from. I think he still really wants to move up here, but is getting that we have a make plans to not be at mom's for too long. Though mom loves having him around. She also really loves to belittle me.

 

I live with her because I have been on a waitlist for housing. I've gotten a job. She doesn't approve of the job, I'm a legal secretary, thinks I'm too reliant on a boss whose going to die.

 

So he's been suggesting I move down there, where he farms, volunteers as a firefighter, as has a part-time job. He's quitting farming, already lined up a buyer, wanted to get away from the town because it's dying and his whole family lives there and doesn't talk to him since his mom died. Said he could line me up with a job down there. I already know it wouldn't pay as well. I would have to drive up once a week for the next 6 months due to medical treatment I'm undergoing.

 

The thought of leaving mom's right now means causing a rift. I'm not sure it's a good idea to move, and since he's willing to come I should just keep letting him come up here, right? Mom's husband recently died, so she kind of is relying on us and well I don't really know when a good time to break away would be.

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Who should move is a very specific Q that depends on the facts of your circumstances. In your relationship there are good arguments for both decisions. Which makes more economic sense? Your BF moving in with you & mom does not seem like a good idea

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Let me make sure I have a few facts straight.

 

How long have you been dating this man?

 

The "I have started a LDR" thread in August?

 

Is this the same as "love as first sight" thread from October?

 

Is this the same one you wrote about first date sex with in mid October?

 

As in you are planning to have a man you have known for much less than 6 months move in with you and your mother?!?

 

Not smart, not wise. Most likely an utter disaster. What is the rush? 2 Hours is NOT that far. You should be able to see each other every weekend.

 

Picking up and moving, changing jobs.... over a relationship that isn't really established. Do I have this correct?

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She doesn't approve of the job, I'm a legal secretary, thinks I'm too reliant on a boss whose going to die.

wtf does this mean?

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It's decided, he's moving up here. He wanted to move prior to meeting me, now just has a place to move to. Moving with my mom is her idea. We pay rent she loves money, she already has renter there as well my brother friend.

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wtf does this mean?

The office is me and my boss, he's older and fat. She thinks I should be looking for a job because he's going to die of a heart attack. But I'm keeping it for now because it's getting me stable financially and it was really hard to find an office job that would work with my disability.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
It's decided, he's moving up here. He wanted to move prior to meeting me, now just has a place to move to. Moving with my mom is her idea. We pay rent she loves money, she already has renter there as well my brother friend.

 

Wait, what? You're moving a man in with you and your mother and you've never met him? Is your mother aware of this?

 

I think your job should be the least of your mom's worries with regard to the choices you make.

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We've been dating I've met him every week for weekends at mom's or his place for months. He was up here all of Thanksgiving. She loves him.

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Sometimes neither one of you should move because it's not meant to be. I think one or both of you need to get a stronger financial position and become more independent before having the other move.

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And people said I moved too fast lol

Hey it sounds a little crazy but plans seem to be in motion so good luck op.

Enjoy the romantic whirlwind since ur set on it. It might hurt in the end but it will be fun to experience and a good story to tell if it doesn’t

 

Good luck girl

Edited by HiCrunchy
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So let me get this straight... your boyfriend of 2 months is going to move in with you and your mother?!?!?

 

Oh, boy.

 

This is the craziest thing I have heard since... Ever.

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If you have to pay rent to your mother... then pay it somewhere else and be on your own, at least you'll have some privacy...

 

I don't think that celebrating a holiday together can be anything like day-to-day routine...

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