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Falling for someone who lives in another country


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Hi all

 

I have been speaking to a man for 4 weeks through an app . We have exchanged voice messages and photos and now numbers. He is very sweet and charming . He lives in South America and I am in England. The only problem is sometimes he goes on about me becoming his wife or generally talking about getting married to be able to settle down here . When I say no he starts telling me he is joking but he's said it a few times and I'm now wondering what his intentions are . I like speaking to him and I am attracted to him but deep down I feel I might be walking in to a trap. He is very sweet and charming , he has a good job and used to live in the UK . He is coming back in a few months time and I wish to see him but I don't know if I'm walking in to a awkward situation .

 

Please help as this has been on my mind a lot . I try to stop speaking to him but there is something about him that just makes me not want to stop.

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This man is virtually a stranger. Joking about marriage this early is a red flag, and would seriously make me wonder if he's just looking for an "easy" way back into the UK on a permanent basis. One joke, okay. But repeated "jokes" signal he's got something on his mind there, which is never good considering you've never met him.

 

I would dial back the communication and arrange a friendly meetup once he's in your area. I would not call it a date, but simply a casual meeting. Keep contact friendly but be careful not to build up too many expectations. Wait until you're able to spend time together in person to see if you're even compatible offline.

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It's a fantasy but an addictive one.

 

There is very little chance you can close the gap on the distance & immigration issues.

 

Learn about a concept called G.U.D. -- being geographically undesirable.

 

I wouldn't date somebody who lived more than 2 hours away from me. I don't understand why people even put themselves in a position to think they are falling for somebody they only contact virtually (through an app, a phone or computer).

 

Enjoy the dream but don't for 1 second think it can ever be real. If you want an actual hug, kiss or more, find a local partner.

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In which country does he live? Im European and I fell some years ago for a southamerican man (we worked together, he lives here in Europe). He was very charming and sweet... tons of sexual flirting and blablabla. The bottom line was he was married with children, yet he managed to **** up my head. It was very painful for me. He changed completely when he saw that I developed feelings for him. He only wanted me to boost his ego, nothing serious, not even an affair. We havent even exchanged a kiss. And believe me, the flirting was heavy and still continues.

Their culture is a macho culture, they all flirt constantly with women. Until he is your partner, you shouldnt take his words seriously. Im pretty sure he has a relationship in his country and they normally marry in their culture (conservative views on marriage).

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