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Not sure where we are or where we are headed.


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 2nd October 2017, 7:30 PM   #1
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Not sure where we are or where we are headed.

I have a coworker who lives 1/2 continent away. Due to our by business set up we talk almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day. When we first start working together I thought he sounded like Eeyore, always sounded kinda down. I made extra efforts to get him to laugh.

We've since become quite good friends. However, lately I'm really wanting to inquire about more. I've made little hints like telling him he is my favorite person there to talk to amd how much I enjoy our conversations. He later told me he feels the exact same way.

Sometimes I feel maybe I've been too flirty and don't hear from him for a day. Then he'll call 5 or 6 times or tell me about a picture he is sending me because he thought of me last night hwne he saw something and wanted to send me.

He has shared many of the hardships of his life. However, he doesn't sound like Eeyore on the phone anymore.

I know we'll be seeing each other soon. I don't want things to be awkward. Do I hint a little harder? How? Do I come straight out and tell him? What if he isn't interested in a LDR? Should I just back away and looker closer to home because a phone and text relationship is going to burn out quickly anyway?

It's getting harder and harder to talk to him without him knowing. I'm also missing him like crazy when we don't talk, or on the weekends, although occasionally there will be an email back and forth.
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Old 4th October 2017, 6:54 PM   #2
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If you're definitely seeing him soon just play it by ear and see how you feel when you see him. If I'm reading this correctly you've never met him in person before, right? Honestly, you could see him in person and realize you feel nothing more than platonic feelings. It happens. I wouldn't tell him anything before you actually meet him, and see what happens from there.
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Old 11th October 2017, 3:57 PM   #3
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I am in a similar situation so I feel deeply with what you are going through. With that being said, wait. Just wait until you see him.

The problem with over the phone relationships or flirtations is that they often bend the truth of how we see someone. The man I'm currently with (lives in a completely different country than I am...been together 1 year strong though!) is different over the phone than he is in person. On Skype he is loud and almost obnoxious, in person he is much more mellow, quieter. People are different over the phone.

You don't want to be going in guns blazing saying that you are interested when you don't know what he is like face-to-face. Just take breath, relax, and wait it out. It won't be awkward. It will feel normal. And if after you've had a conversation staring him in the eye, being able to hear his voice in real time, you decide you feel the same way, then please, tell him.
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Old 17th October 2017, 6:18 PM   #4
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Thanks for the responses. We have met once. It was before I started working closely together. We hit it off well, but I didn't really think of it as a romantic interest type situation since we lived so far apart and barely interacted at work.

When things at work changed and I was moved to working with him daily I really began to feel a connection.

Weird thing is I've been out of work recently due to a health issue. Last week he was really attentive, sent flowers, etc. I let him know how much it meant to me and he responded with that's what friends do for each other.

Troubling thing is, I now haven't heard anything from him all week. No check in on my recovery, no funny texts, no calls, nothing.

Maybe I overstepped last week when I told him I really liked him (it was in the context of him being a friend during my rough week) or maybe I scared him when I told him I didn't let many people in. Whatever the reason, he's clearly backed off this week. Strange.
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