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Dating Resident Doctor - LDR


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 27th September 2017, 3:20 AM   #1
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Exclamation Dating Resident Doctor - LDR

Hey Guys!!!

I don't know where i should start , to make my story short I met this guy via social media and were been talking for almost a year now. He's doing 1st year internal medicine in New Delhi India and we haven't talked that much because he's schedule is insanely busy sometimes we haven't talk for over a week which i understand. We treat our selves like coupleish but since i haven't met him in person i don't want to put too much in this LDR thing.. We decided to meet this summer but he cancelled because he doesn't have a long leave to go over seas and His asking me if i could come and meet him instead he will pay for my flight round trip.

I really like this guy and i want to meet him in person but honestly i am scared not because i dont trust him enough its because not sure if is a good idea me "as a woman" going over seas to meet a online guy im scared. I don't know anything about india and i saw some videos on youtube which made me worried.

I guess my question is should i go and meet him in person? Since he's a doctor i should consider him ? and doing residency is crazy! BTW i can only visit him for only 3-4days since he doesn't have a long vacation and its fine with me.

Can anyone in this FORUM.. give some advice? Or any from medical field...? Thank you so much
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Old 27th September 2017, 6:14 AM   #2
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Just tell him you don't feel safe as a woman traveling there alone and would rather wait until he comes to you. If he doesn't understand that then he's not much of a man. Plus, he could be fake anyway.
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Old 27th September 2017, 6:15 AM   #3
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None of this is real until you meet. Keep talking if you like but put very little stock in this & keep your feelings in check.

If you are otherwise interested in traveling to India, go but I'd bring a friend or two, preferably two so they have something to do while you are with him. It's not a country I'd go to alone to meet a stranger off the internet. If he doesn't have time to meet you, are you sure he's going to have time to do anything else?
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:24 AM   #4
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Have you verified he is who he says he is, a Dr.?

But, I don't believe I'd do this. There's a story on the news this morning about a Russian man advertising on dating sites and...well, I'll let you read it.

Seems to me, we all rely on our inner radar to let us know something isn't right. But, in a foreign country there'd be factors we're unfamiliar with that may lead that inner radar to become confused, or to attribute being uneasy with a situation to the fact that one is in a foreign country rather than to the fact that something is wrong and/or dangerous, thereby missing pertinent cues that otherwise may keep us safe.
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:37 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LivingWaterPlease View Post
. There's a story on the news this morning about a Russian man advertising on dating sites and...well, I'll let you read it.
OMG! I searched for that news story. Yuck. Terrifying. Cannibalism . . .

There are some really sick people out there! Soon to be a new episode of Law & Order: SVU
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:39 AM   #6
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@all

Thank u for helpful advice 🙂 Yes non of this is real if i dont meet him in person i tried to asked my friend if she can come with me but shes scared too. Non of us know that place. I think new delhi is a cool place but i guess he needs to find a way if he wants to work this out.

I know his life being a resident doctor and he almost live in the hospital sometimes he calls me for few minutes or do video call when he just woked up and i can see him he's stressed and lack of sleep.

Is there any nice way to convince him to see me instead w/o sounding offensive?his birthday on march he can spend short holiday.
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Old 27th September 2017, 7:41 AM   #7
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Pick a safe country you would be wiling to travel to & suggest meeting in the middle on neutral ground. Book your own room.
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Old 27th September 2017, 8:09 AM   #8
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Are you sure he's not married?

Make him come to you.

A LDR working out with someone from the other side of the world is a long shot anyway.
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Old 27th September 2017, 8:56 AM   #9
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Thanks so much for giving comments , it can help me to think clear yes im sure he's not married bcoz i cant sense an irate wife in the picture, he's instagram account is pretty updated and guess what?! I did some research😝 U know us girls were good with that 😁 And yes he's a doctor for internal medicine i have his passport copy we revealed our ID the first time we talked.


To give u a little background about this guy i am talking he finished medicine in UK and he moved to india to practice his residency bcoz his dad sick he's looking after him. After his residency we will go back in UK to continue his profession that his second home and he dont like to work in india anyway.

I guess our challenge is how do we meet up in person?I cant come to india bcoz im scared. Yes LDR is a lonnggggg shot! The only thing i want right now is to meet him face to face and I can decide if i really want him. For now i dont want to think about future with him thats too far from reality.

I guess we need to think the best way to convince him to come & see me instead w/o pressure or offending him.
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Old 27th September 2017, 11:21 AM   #10
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There is no way I would be traveling alone to meet a strange man on the other side of the world. Most reasonable men would understand that, too. Meeting on neutral ground, with separate accommodations, perhaps. But flying to his city, in a country which is not exactly known for the safety and security of solo, foreign women? No.

He might be a completely legitimate person, and exactly who he says he is. The point is, you have no way of knowing that at this time. And no, a passport copy isn't proof. It takes seconds to find and then modify some other random person's information online, or cobble together one of his own if he's got some photo-editing skills. It's not difficult to do. So whatever he provided you might be real, but it just as easily might not.

How did you verify he's a doctor?

Am I overly suspicious? Perhaps. But I'd sure rather be a pseudo-Sherlock than take a risk. Verify, verify, verify.
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Old 27th September 2017, 11:27 AM   #11
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He needs to come to you. If you travel to India and anything happens to you, you will get very little protection from the local police or justice system.

Really, though, all that is secondary to my second question: Why??? By your own words, you "haven't talked that much". Talking is literally the ONLY way people fall in love with other people who live on the other side of the globe. If you've never met and barely talk... why even be in a relationship with them, much less a relationship of this degree of difficulty?

Him being a doctor makes no difference IMO, except for the fact that the work schedule will make things even harder.
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