LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Long-Distance Relationships

How to end a LDR


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Like Tree17Likes
  • 5 Post By d0nnivain
  • 2 Post By Whodatdog
  • 2 Post By HarmonyDriven
  • 4 Post By diddilybop
  • 1 Post By basil67
  • 1 Post By preraph
  • 2 Post By nothingsintheflowerz
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12th August 2017, 7:48 AM   #1
Established Member
 
pinkstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 68
How to end a LDR

It's around 8 years ago that a guy contacted me on Skype...we started chatting and a relationship started. It wasn't a serious one but little by little I got attached to him ...we were living far from each other and getting visa seemed almost impossible... I moved from my home country and settled in another country ...anyway we talked a lot and some times talking bout meeting in person
We decided to meet 3, 4 times but I couldn't make it ...anyway he seems nice and kind smart and I just fell for him

Due to hardship of meeting in person . I cut with him 2,3 times in all these years and again he contacted me..last time I made my decision and completely cut for two years although I used to check his profile on twitter to see how he is going

After 2 years he messaged me on linked in and I replied him he said he wanted us to meet in The US end of this year ... I asked him 1000 times during all these years if he is married or not and he had said no.... this time I asked and he said yes I'm married with three kids !! He said something like I love you I didn't tell you I afraid it may end our relationship ...I got shocked honestly and it hurt me a lot...he said he was married from 2006 ! And we met online in 2009! It made me feel horrible that he lied ..I want to block him but still couldn't do it but I'm sure I don't want to meet him at all ...please help how I can break up with this guy

Last edited by pinkstar; 12th August 2017 at 7:51 AM.. Reason: Typo
pinkstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th August 2017, 7:53 AM   #2
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 25,559
Why do you need help breaking up with him? This should be easy. Send something like the following message:
You lied. I'm not going to be the one you physically cheat on your wife with It's bad enough that you used me to carry on an emotional affair. I'm done. I'm blocking you. Go away.
Then you block him.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th August 2017, 8:01 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 7,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Why do you need help breaking up with him? This should be easy. Send something like the following message:
You lied. I'm not going to be the one you physically cheat on your wife with It's bad enough that you used me to carry on an emotional affair. I'm done. I'm blocking you. Go away.
Then you block him.
Wait...what???
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th August 2017, 12:47 PM   #4
Established Member
 
pinkstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Why do you need help breaking up with him? This should be easy. Send something like the following message:
You lied. I'm not going to be the one you physically cheat on your wife with It's bad enough that you used me to carry on an emotional affair. I'm done. I'm blocking you. Go away.
Then you block him.
Thank you so much ! Whatever bad words and swear I like to tell him but I never swear at any one ...he told me the truth 3 weeks ago but sending me messages once a week ,like ....we have a connection , I like you so much , I'm an idiot and jerk ...you didn't do anything wrong ., I just told him I feel guilty ...
Anyway... I also feel guilty to be in touch with a married man for several years
I never married but I keep thinking about his wife and kids...what if he was my husband and cheating like this? Anyway I never talked to him badly so talking straight to him is beyond my strength just like to uninstall all apsis like what's app and google talk and disable all my profiles in Facebook etc so he can't contact me
pinkstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th August 2017, 3:46 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 7,911
This happened to a male coworker of mine, except he did meet her in person a couple of times. The "relationship" lasted years and he was holding out on meeting other women because he was waiting for her to make up her mind and work through all the millions of excuses she gave to come and live with him. He finally found out she was married with kids.

I don't know if he's still talking to her but I wouldn't be surprised if he is. He was stuck on stupid, imo. Lesson to be learned is don't bother with LDR's.
Popsicle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th August 2017, 4:57 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 491
Hang up the phone. There, done.
Whodatdog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 9:25 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkstar View Post

.... I asked him 1000 times during all these years if he is married or not


...please help how I can break up with this guy

OP,

Wow......clearly your gut was telling you something when you had to ask 1000 times.

IMO, you don't owe this guy anything. Just delete/block whatever contacts you have with him.
HarmonyDriven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 9:49 PM   #8
Established Member
 
diddilybop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 79
how to break up with him? you block him. he doesn't deserve any explanation from you.
diddilybop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 10:40 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Antipodes
Posts: 7,591
Quote:
Originally Posted by diddilybop View Post
how to break up with him? you block him. he doesn't deserve any explanation from you.
Very easy and effective method.
smackie9 likes this.
basil67 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th August 2017, 12:09 PM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,501
Just block him from all your social media change your phone number if you have to.
smackie9 likes this.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th September 2017, 6:56 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 115
There needs to be something in you that will break up with him and block him. The way you do it doesn't matter, as long as you do. I promise you, this situation will only bring you pain and deceit. Good luck.
nothingsintheflowerz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th September 2017, 11:02 AM   #12
Established Member
 
pinkstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by nothingsintheflowerz View Post
There needs to be something in you that will break up with him and block him. The way you do it doesn't matter, as long as you do. I promise you, this situation will only bring you pain and deceit. Good luck.
Thank you for all your advice...I still couldn't block him but I'm not talking to him either

I'm just suffering ...searching a lot over internet and finally found his wife and daughter picture...I look at those picture daily and read that message he told me he was married ...so I make myself believe more that he's married with kids

By the way ...I just try not to think that much but really hard to stop thinking ...I got my lesson ..We can hardly trust someone over internet and ldr
pinkstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th September 2017, 1:01 PM   #13
Established Member
 
smackie9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Surrey BC Canada
Posts: 12,025
Meet someone new....locally, fall in love. There, end of.
__________________

You are a fool if you believe that having each others passwords = trust.
smackie9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th September 2017, 10:11 AM   #14
Established Member
 
coolheadal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 3,102
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkstar View Post
It's around 8 years ago that a guy contacted me on Skype...we started chatting and a relationship started. It wasn't a serious one but little by little I got attached to him ...we were living far from each other and getting visa seemed almost impossible... I moved from my home country and settled in another country ...anyway we talked a lot and some times talking bout meeting in person
We decided to meet 3, 4 times but I couldn't make it ...anyway he seems nice and kind smart and I just fell for him

Due to hardship of meeting in person . I cut with him 2,3 times in all these years and again he contacted me..last time I made my decision and completely cut for two years although I used to check his profile on twitter to see how he is going

After 2 years he messaged me on linked in and I replied him he said he wanted us to meet in The US end of this year ... I asked him 1000 times during all these years if he is married or not and he had said no.... this time I asked and he said yes I'm married with three kids !! He said something like I love you I didn't tell you I afraid it may end our relationship ...I got shocked honestly and it hurt me a lot...he said he was married from 2006 ! And we met online in 2009! It made me feel horrible that he lied ..I want to block him but still couldn't do it but I'm sure I don't want to meet him at all ...please help how I can break up with this guy

Trust me it's very hard to let go of these so called love ones. I have one she's and I going on 2 years now she tells me she can finally be with me in November 2017. I wait to see that ever happening.. Again you can block them or you can welcome the fact you have someone out there that can take the time to care and listen to you where others in the real world don't care or listen to you. This is a matter of convenience to keep such a contact going on beyond years. I say what the hell have it continue and don't block them! I am not blocking my friend of 2 years yet I never spoken or seen her in person yet. I just wonder what the heck is going to show-up at the airport that's if she's really coming her or not.. Surprise you really do not look like your pictures or you really do... LOL
__________________
Age doesn't matter, but Love does matter! Which love it's the magical one "I love you" also I am in love with you" More powerful than anyone age! If you really love that person you are so interested in you would move heavens and mountains to reach them!'
coolheadal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th September 2017, 5:15 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkstar View Post
we were living far from each other and getting visa seemed almost impossible
Any new relationship that involves an immigration visa is a definite no.

He dislikes his life with the wife and kids and perhaps wants to start again with someone else. My dad did it, started new, had a child (me) and has been happily married for 3 decades it all worked out.

If you want to end it then just cut off contact. If you find it difficult then it means that you still want something with the guy.
bpb2017 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:19 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.