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5 year LD relationship over


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 30th September 2017, 12:17 PM   #46
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I'm sure this won't be the first or last time I ever write this, but this is why I'll never "do" facebook or any of that stuff. I think it complicates matters so much. There's too much re: checking statuses and blocking friends and invites and requests, and...to be honest I don't know how a lot of it works but I hear far more horror stories about it than I do happy stuff.

That was just my little contribution...
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Old 2nd October 2017, 11:20 PM   #47
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I don't do FaceBook either......easy peasy.

I have had people tell me "I can't believe you don't have a FB page" and then there are people who tell me "be thankful you don't have a FB page, too much drama."

Go figure.....
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Old 4th October 2017, 12:07 AM   #48
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facebook

I understand your point of view that facebook is evil, i been on it for 10 years and the only reasons are: I have family and friends from high school on it and i reconnected with some old friends. I admit when it comes to relationships and ex girlfriends, it is complicated because you ask yourself: Should i block her? should i unblock? should i delete them?

You can get hurt and hurt others feelings especially with romantic relationships.
Also some people post a lot of selfies and show a fake view of their life like everything is perfect. In reality they have problems and setbacks like everyone else.
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Old 4th October 2017, 12:30 PM   #49
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I resisted FB for a long time. My brother convinced me to setup an account so that we can keep up with one another's family. Now, I have friends and family communicating with me via FB. I check it maybe 1-2x per week from a couple of minutes at a time and post less than that. FB becomes an issue if you allow it. FB in itself, is not an issue. I befriend everyone that wants to. I don't add gfs and exes, etc. It is strictly my and my family's point of online presence and not a retelling of every minute, event of my life.
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Old 4th October 2017, 5:54 PM   #50
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I do understand that it's not necessarily that FB is "evil" - because that's as crazy as saying "guns are evil." It's the PERSON and the PEOPLE and how they use these things that are the bottom line.

But I still don't want anything to do with it because I compartmentalize, and I'm not sure that how I communicate with my friends would be what I'd want to share with my family. Well not me personally as I have no family... but generally speaking, I think it's not a good idea. I've seen more harmful things come from it and I'd rather not be a part of something like that.
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Old 28th November 2017, 2:40 AM   #51
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Update november 27th.

It's been now 6 months! I am still in no contact and haven't broken it.
I haven't heard anything from her and what she is up to and if she is seeing someone or not. All i know is i am doing better and am thinking less and less about the breakup.

Occasionally i do get thoughts in the morning, i say it's worse when i dream about her.
I been reading a lot about relationships and life improvement and realised i was too codependant and she was a narcissistic type with selfish needs. I got too attached and in the end when the relationship ran it's course, i ended up hurting more.

As i slowly detach myself, like someone who stops an addiction, i now see clear. I see all the flaws, i see that i lost myself, i forgot about my purpose and my goals in life. I lost my motivation to succeed, i became uncentered and started to doubt her and myself.

She wanted me like i was in the beginning, confident, happy, with passion and motivation to succeed and break all barriers. This is masculine energy and it kept her in love until i became complacent, stopped courting and dating her and slowly she wasn't interested in making love anymore and this made me lose even more motivation and slowly the relationship lost it's romance and we felt like friends or room mates.

I learned so much from this relationship, i thought i knew it all and i could relax and not worry just because she mentioned she wanted kids and get married. Well i was wrong, those were things she said in the moment, and people change with time, Her emotions changed like a light switch. it doesn't matter how long you been together, what they were thinking a few years ago doesn't mean they still want it today.

My mistake was thinking that because we had a great 5 years together, that we passed the test and nothing could break us up. I even asked her, what did i do to you ? When the real problem was, what i didn't do to keep her in love? I realised i didn't do much anymore to keep her in love. I was complacent. I ignored the red flags, because sexually i wasn't happy with her, her libido was very low because of meds for depression. So i just gave up... No regrets. walk away and never look back...
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