s on his mixed signals?

[soarin]

I apologize ahead of time for my poor grammar and mistakes, I'm just doing this to get it off my chest.

 

Okay, so he and I have known each other for about a year starting in May. We met online and he lives in the U.K. while I live in America, however we didn't really start talking until December when he asked for help about a girl. He was trying to get her to hang out with him. He stayed up late that night talking to me while trying to gain the courage to ask this girl to hang out. She ended up saying she was too busy.

 

Now side note, the girl he was head over heals in love with is 2 years older than him and in college. She is the same age as me, and I've shown pictures of her to other people, and they thought she was me.

Either way, she had to return to college and she didn't have time in between to see him before she returned.

 

Though he was heartbroken, he showed me a lot of appreciation and we both began sharing parts of our lives we wouldn't normally tell a new friend. This brought us into a immediate friendship and now we ended up talking every single day. He was bullied and doesn't have many friends, and I'm really the only person he has to share his emotions with. Because of his emotional reliance on me, he eventually he started saying I love you to me before he goes to bed, however, he says that to he best guy friend (whom I know and lives elsewhere too) as well (More like I<3U to him). I knew not to take him seriously but, it became casual to send hearts and ILY’s over text. Then he wanted to call me, and we voice chatted for awhile and afterwords he sent me a goodnight message saying “"That's the most I've smiled in long time, my cheeks hurt now.”

 

A week later… the sexual banter comes in. Its not sexting or actual, for lack of a better word, role play. The best way to put it is, sarcastic and joking sex talk. But it happens all the time and we only seem to cut it off when things get to awkward. But anymore… we don't care as much and we kinda get "edgy"

 

Now bring it to to another week later, we call and he stays up till 7–8am to talk to me. So we had around a 10 hour talk. We finally added each other on SC and this is when we both begin to see our faces. We were both shy, but we've gotten a lot more comfortable.

 

Now the girl he likes finally agrees to see him for Spring Break. He was suppose to confess to her as he promised me, but never did. The day he finally got a msg back saying yes, I realized how Jealous I was of her. I cared for him and I found myself heartbroken. Then the day he saw her, I cracked and sobbed my way through the day. This is because when I woke up I got a text saying that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I had to straight up tell him I couldn't talk to him that for the day because the last thing I wanted was to hear about it, and I didn't want to dampen it with my sadness. He knows I go through bad days from a previous depression, and was completely understanding and even thanked me for being upfront.

 

More and more he has been showing me an increase in signs of appreciation and love. And our snap chats have become really complementive of one another, talking about how great we are and look (sounds vain). He has even started saying “We are so much alike.” There was one day that I said “"You don't luv me” jokingly, and he responds “I don't luv you, I love you.” And that sent such a mixed single. And I told him, “"you could really woo a girl like that.” And he just laughs it off. Then on another conversation I say “But I'm not like most girls, so I can't be one to say.” And he responds “Because you're better than most girls.” And there have just been a load of more commits like this “Youre my star,” “"You mean loads to me, more than loads.”

 

And gahahah the mixed signals are on the rage. But I myself have been trying to hint that I have feelings for him. We had yet another 10 hour talk recently and it was the night he decided to confess to the girl he loves… he found out that she knew she liked him. And when he got the message back, she mentioned she had once liked him too, but any relationship between them wouldn't work because she was in Uni. She also mentioned she was glad he brought it up because it both took the weight of their shoulder and that they could talk about it now.

He seemed to focus on just wanting to be friends for now, but then again I knew he wanted to rebuild friendship before he started dating her again. And he's been so happy with this weight off his shoulders.

 

Other things about our friendship:

 

All my friends Who know about him ask why we aren't online dating, but our relationship isn't prefect we got into arguements but they do end up okay. With us eventually going “Im sorry”, “"No don't apologize, it wasn't you!” We also took a break because we were in a zone we're we fought more than usual. But he didn't last a day.

 

One time I mentioned that if I told my parents about him, they'd tell me to marry him so they could come visit me in the U.K. (Yes, I'm being vague on location) and he responded "In 20 years and nothing happens, sure.” But that was before increase in appreciation.

 

We have nicknames. But my nickname for him is actually his first name since everyone calls him by his last. And he liked it when I used his first name because he kinda forgot he had it since his parents aren't always around. But we also use bae and bub, and he calls me smol one or lil one.

 

He teases me about other other guys liking me. And always wonder why I don't have BF but always suggests I'll find the one someday.

 

He once pointed out all the signals I was giving him. Like calling him cute a lot (yes, he likes it) and getting sad whenever he goes. And so Im pretty sure he has an idea that I like him. But I've been trying to get him to ask me, if I like him, otherwise I'm not going to confess… I don't have the courage. I don't want to put a strain on our friendship and Im the only person he has… Because he and his best guy friend only have short conversations.

 

He often opts time before he goes to bed to talk to me

 

He calls me cute a lot

 

One night when I sent him a long silly message because I was bored and couldn't sleep. He said “"You. Are. Like. Unbelievably. Cute.”

 

He makes sure he cheers me up on my bad days.

 

He doesn't often try to take interest in my interests. Sometimes he'll watch a movie I recommend, other times he won't. Though Ive learned the trick to get him to watch something… compare it to him. But we do love to get on a voice chat and watch movie together. But sometimes I gotta kinda nudge him more to watch a certain movie.

 

We have loosely confessed that we both find each other attractive.

 

Our song is “"Stay Alive” by Jose Gonzalez

 

We have this adorable thing where if we need hope, we send a rainbow emoji and the other must send a rainbow back. But rainbows have been replaced by more hearts now.

 

He always mentions likes the sound of my voice, just by talking.

 

We have 1/2 same taste 1/2 different tastes

 

He wants to move to Canada, but my career will likely led me to move to California or Seattle (Not excited about this) and he knows my dream and wants to see it happen. But I've mentioned wanting to move to Canada, though I don't care to necessarily, I'm just trying to hint that yeah, I'd be willing to go to a new country.

 

He has called me like a sister (heard this is not a good thing)

 

He is terrible about keeping promises with me.

 

His best friend clearly has an idea about what is going on between us. In chat when everyone thought I went AFK, someone asked if I was okay, and his best friend says "probably sexting <insert his name>” and he also made references to our friendship in ways that others on the chat wouldn't be able to.

 

He’ll mention missing me

 

I want to make it clear that by March i gave up trying to hide my love for him, and have let it be pretty damn visible, or at least I hope so.

 

Gahahaha, I have a feeling he does like me, but the signals… I could just be reading into them more but he might just really value me as a friend. I care about him so much. That I just wanted to see happy with the girl he has a huge crush on. And I don't know. I don't know. I just need to get this out. Maybe so I can just move on. What chance do I have if the girl he loves think they work out, but they have one big thing, they have met and their distance is significantly smaller. Significantly. I love him, and I feel stupid for falling in love with someone whose face Ive only seen through photos and who has a had a huge ,but lightly dying, crush on a girl. I know he cares A LOT about me, but I just don't know if it's what I want. But he's the first guy I've had more than a petty “liking” on and I don't want to lose him, because I'm in college and I've never felt this way about before, and god the pain and love is amazing. And I just fear if I'll ever care about someone again the same way.

 

I also want to make side notes it took him about two years to realize he loved this girl. And one of those years he completely forgot about her. But it wasn't until he saw her passing her in the halls again that he realized how he kinda missed her.

[Telemachus]

Online connections are superficial. You know a curated version of him, and he knows a curated version of you.

 

From my point of view, you're way too invested in this relationship for your own good, but that's for you to decide. If he cut off all communication with you starting tomorrow, would you think the time already spent exchanging words and pictures with him was well spent?

 

If you're just enjoying a diversion from the cares and worries, triumphs and tragedies, of regular life in three dimensions, that's fine. I can encourage and appreciate that - we all need our diversions and amusements. However, if you think that this is something real and meaningful, and that you're time is invested in a long-term relationship that will last decades, you're likely mistaken.

[coolheadal]

I apologize ahead of time for my poor grammar and mistakes, I'm just doing this to get it off my chest.

 

Okay, so he and I have known each other for about a year starting in May. We met online and he lives in the U.K. while I live in America, however we didn't really start talking until December when he asked for help about a girl. He was trying to get her to hang out with him. He stayed up late that night talking to me while trying to gain the courage to ask this girl to hang out. She ended up saying she was too busy.

 

Now side note, the girl he was head over heals in love with is 2 years older than him and in college. She is the same age as me, and I've shown pictures of her to other people, and they thought she was me.

Either way, she had to return to college and she didn't have time in between to see him before she returned.

 

Though he was heartbroken, he showed me a lot of appreciation and we both began sharing parts of our lives we wouldn't normally tell a new friend. This brought us into a immediate friendship and now we ended up talking every single day. He was bullied and doesn't have many friends, and I'm really the only person he has to share his emotions with. Because of his emotional reliance on me, he eventually he started saying I love you to me before he goes to bed, however, he says that to he best guy friend (whom I know and lives elsewhere too) as well (More like I<3U to him). I knew not to take him seriously but, it became casual to send hearts and ILY’s over text. Then he wanted to call me, and we voice chatted for awhile and afterwords he sent me a goodnight message saying “"That's the most I've smiled in long time, my cheeks hurt now.”

 

A week later… the sexual banter comes in. Its not sexting or actual, for lack of a better word, role play. The best way to put it is, sarcastic and joking sex talk. But it happens all the time and we only seem to cut it off when things get to awkward. But anymore… we don't care as much and we kinda get "edgy"

 

Now bring it to to another week later, we call and he stays up till 7–8am to talk to me. So we had around a 10 hour talk. We finally added each other on SC and this is when we both begin to see our faces. We were both shy, but we've gotten a lot more comfortable.

 

Now the girl he likes finally agrees to see him for Spring Break. He was suppose to confess to her as he promised me, but never did. The day he finally got a msg back saying yes, I realized how Jealous I was of her. I cared for him and I found myself heartbroken. Then the day he saw her, I cracked and sobbed my way through the day. This is because when I woke up I got a text saying that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. I had to straight up tell him I couldn't talk to him that for the day because the last thing I wanted was to hear about it, and I didn't want to dampen it with my sadness. He knows I go through bad days from a previous depression, and was completely understanding and even thanked me for being upfront.

 

More and more he has been showing me an increase in signs of appreciation and love. And our snap chats have become really complementive of one another, talking about how great we are and look (sounds vain). He has even started saying “We are so much alike.” There was one day that I said “"You don't luv me” jokingly, and he responds “I don't luv you, I love you.” And that sent such a mixed single. And I told him, “"you could really woo a girl like that.” And he just laughs it off. Then on another conversation I say “But I'm not like most girls, so I can't be one to say.” And he responds “Because you're better than most girls.” And there have just been a load of more commits like this “Youre my star,” “"You mean loads to me, more than loads.”

 

And gahahah the mixed signals are on the rage. But I myself have been trying to hint that I have feelings for him. We had yet another 10 hour talk recently and it was the night he decided to confess to the girl he loves… he found out that she knew she liked him. And when he got the message back, she mentioned she had once liked him too, but any relationship between them wouldn't work because she was in Uni. She also mentioned she was glad he brought it up because it both took the weight of their shoulder and that they could talk about it now.

He seemed to focus on just wanting to be friends for now, but then again I knew he wanted to rebuild friendship before he started dating her again. And he's been so happy with this weight off his shoulders.

 

Other things about our friendship:

 

All my friends Who know about him ask why we aren't online dating, but our relationship isn't prefect we got into arguements but they do end up okay. With us eventually going “Im sorry”, “"No don't apologize, it wasn't you!” We also took a break because we were in a zone we're we fought more than usual. But he didn't last a day.

 

One time I mentioned that if I told my parents about him, they'd tell me to marry him so they could come visit me in the U.K. (Yes, I'm being vague on location) and he responded "In 20 years and nothing happens, sure.” But that was before increase in appreciation.

 

We have nicknames. But my nickname for him is actually his first name since everyone calls him by his last. And he liked it when I used his first name because he kinda forgot he had it since his parents aren't always around. But we also use bae and bub, and he calls me smol one or lil one.

 

He teases me about other other guys liking me. And always wonder why I don't have BF but always suggests I'll find the one someday.

 

He once pointed out all the signals I was giving him. Like calling him cute a lot (yes, he likes it) and getting sad whenever he goes. And so Im pretty sure he has an idea that I like him. But I've been trying to get him to ask me, if I like him, otherwise I'm not going to confess… I don't have the courage. I don't want to put a strain on our friendship and Im the only person he has… Because he and his best guy friend only have short conversations.

 

He often opts time before he goes to bed to talk to me

 

He calls me cute a lot

 

One night when I sent him a long silly message because I was bored and couldn't sleep. He said “"You. Are. Like. Unbelievably. Cute.”

 

He makes sure he cheers me up on my bad days.

 

He doesn't often try to take interest in my interests. Sometimes he'll watch a movie I recommend, other times he won't. Though Ive learned the trick to get him to watch something… compare it to him. But we do love to get on a voice chat and watch movie together. But sometimes I gotta kinda nudge him more to watch a certain movie.

 

We have loosely confessed that we both find each other attractive.

 

Our song is “"Stay Alive” by Jose Gonzalez

 

We have this adorable thing where if we need hope, we send a rainbow emoji and the other must send a rainbow back. But rainbows have been replaced by more hearts now.

 

He always mentions likes the sound of my voice, just by talking.

 

We have 1/2 same taste 1/2 different tastes

 

He wants to move to Canada, but my career will likely led me to move to California or Seattle (Not excited about this) and he knows my dream and wants to see it happen. But I've mentioned wanting to move to Canada, though I don't care to necessarily, I'm just trying to hint that yeah, I'd be willing to go to a new country.

 

He has called me like a sister (heard this is not a good thing)

 

He is terrible about keeping promises with me.

 

His best friend clearly has an idea about what is going on between us. In chat when everyone thought I went AFK, someone asked if I was okay, and his best friend says "probably sexting <insert his name>” and he also made references to our friendship in ways that others on the chat wouldn't be able to.

 

He’ll mention missing me

 

I want to make it clear that by March i gave up trying to hide my love for him, and have let it be pretty damn visible, or at least I hope so.

 

Gahahaha, I have a feeling he does like me, but the signals… I could just be reading into them more but he might just really value me as a friend. I care about him so much. That I just wanted to see happy with the girl he has a huge crush on. And I don't know. I don't know. I just need to get this out. Maybe so I can just move on. What chance do I have if the girl he loves think they work out, but they have one big thing, they have met and their distance is significantly smaller. Significantly. I love him, and I feel stupid for falling in love with someone whose face Ive only seen through photos and who has a had a huge ,but lightly dying, crush on a girl. I know he cares A LOT about me, but I just don't know if it's what I want. But he's the first guy I've had more than a petty “liking” on and I don't want to lose him, because I'm in college and I've never felt this way about before, and god the pain and love is amazing. And I just fear if I'll ever care about someone again the same way.

 

I also want to make side notes it took him about two years to realize he loved this girl. And one of those years he completely forgot about her. But it wasn't until he saw her passing her in the halls again that he realized how he kinda missed her.

 

Wow! Your heart is in this delusional arrangement. Until you and him see each other in the real world then what you have is just merely smoke and mirrors. I been there too but that's the truth of the matter. Talk is cheap but actions in person speak more than just words on the screen. Take that as some advise.