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Does she truly like me or am I just her backup plan?


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Okay. Here's my story:

 

I met this Russian girl online on a dating site a couple of months back. After chatting for a week or so I asked her Skype ID and continued our conversation there. Due to our difference in time and my work schedule, our conversation was irregular. Then slowly our communication faded where we would only communicate to each other on weekends, or sometimes we didn't. Then, one day we had a deep conversation where she told a different side of her story (basically her life's tragedy now, which I think is unfair to her). She's in a messy situation and wants to continue her dream and go back to Paris where she was earlier (Visa issue). The thing is she wants to pursue her dreams out there in Paris and not anywhere else where she used to show her anguish by crying (so as I am not from Paris; I'm out of the context). Knowing I won't stand a chance with her, still, I gave her moral support by encouraging her and telling her not to give up her dreams. Now, every day we chat with each other, or video Skype (sometimes) to an extent that we have been sharing much of our life stories. But the conundrum here is we both like each other very much. We both expressed our feelings to each other. Recently, I abruptly cut off communication with her saying that we have no future together. But she kept on being persistent that she doesn't want to lose me. She admitted herself that I am her soul mate where she misses chatting with me and none of the guys she loved earlier had this strong connection with (we are very similar in many ways which we gradually came to know). Now she wants to come and meet me and find out if she can adjust to my lifestyle, meet my folks, and see my home town (Asia - which she had never imagined of settling down). She said that only then she can decide if we can stay together or forget each other.

 

Now my question is, does she really loves me, or is it that she has not found anyone on that dating site and has made me an option (Plan B)? What should I do next, I have already fallen for her and if she doesn't want to move with me eventually will be a hard blow for me?

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She sounds like someone who is trying to give you a tragic story so you can buy into her "dreams." Don't get me wrong it's possible to find love online, but there's just way too many similar stories out there of people like this. Proceed with caution. If she's going to come visit you make sure she visits you on her own accord, with her own money, and it doesn't have anything to do with visa related bs.

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does she really loves me
I seriously doubt it.

 

or is it that she has not found anyone on that dating site and has made me an option (Plan B)?
Chances are she has several options to evaluate. You're one of them.

 

What should I do next
Take money out of the picture, to put her to the test. Before she makes plans to come see you, you tell her you lost all your money on bad investment. You tell her you do have a house, but it's owned by the bank. And you have a loan to pay still for the next 10 years. I guess after that... suddenly some issue will come up preventing her from flying to you. You need to screen yourself from scammers. Don't be so naive. Unless you can take being scammed just to be with a woman (which would be sad, but well, it's up to you).
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She sounds like someone who is trying to give you a tragic story so you can buy into her "dreams." Don't get me wrong it's possible to find love online, but there's just way too many similar stories out there of people like this. Proceed with caution. If she's going to come visit you make sure she visits you on her own accord, with her own money, and it doesn't have anything to do with visa related bs.

 

 

Thank you for the heads up. I know, situations like this can stir up many thoughts that might influence one's decision but we have been talking for almost over 6 months now. She is far to be labelled as a "Scammer" because I know more about her personal things as she knows about mine. The only thing I want to disclose about her is she has been hurt before hence sometimes her feelings are very hot and cold and hard to understand.

 

One thing I certainly know is that I have placed myself somewhere in her heart. But I'm not sure how well I have fit in. That worries me.

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I seriously doubt it.

 

Chances are she has several options to evaluate. You're one of them.

 

Take money out of the picture, to put her to the test. Before she makes plans to come see you, you tell her you lost all your money on bad investment. You tell her you do have a house, but it's owned by the bank. And you have a loan to pay still for the next 10 years. I guess after that... suddenly some issue will come up preventing her from flying to you. You need to screen yourself from scammers. Don't be so naive. Unless you can take being scammed just to be with a woman (which would be sad, but well, it's up to you).

 

 

 

To begin with, I am 101% sure that she is not a scammer. I know pretty well about these scammers and how they function. She doesn't fit the bill to be a scammer in any way. Right now she's just slowly moving on from her life's tragedy where I have given her new hope to survive. Before she used to cry all the time, but now her behaviour has changed. She is so happy whenever she's talking to me. I have never seen a shy girl open up so much to a stranger who's miles apart.

 

 

The only thing that worries me now is if she visits me and somehow doesn't like the lifestyle she has to adjust with then I have no clue what will happen to me next.

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To begin with, I am 101% sure that she is not a scammer.
That's exactly what a guy I know said before realizing he was wrong. And he hosted her too.
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You're being scammed!

 

Who is purchasing this plane ticket to Asia? Let her buy her own ticket and pay her own way to come visit you. Then the excuses will start flying and she will peddle her "life of tragedy" story to the next potential sucker. Sorry, but your story is as old as the internet...even down to your disbelief that this "shy girl" half way around the world who has magically opened up to supportive you could ever be a scammer. 150 million people...75 million men at home, and the only one she met was online in...Asia?

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Got to know she indeed was a scammer. Nah, just joking. :) Firstly, I'm thankful to you guys for giving me the heads up. But it wasn't the case. We had a talk yesterday, and she's coming to visit me at her own cost. I feel really ashamed of writing this in this forum and doubting her love. Btw, I have never seen a scammer who has a degree in communication, is into philosophy, art, and other things. I've also seen her parents. And she has shared me her life's secrets so much to convince me that there's really a genuine interest from her side. And I am sure that I have found my soulmate.

 

Thank you all for taking your time to reply to my query. I wish you all a good day and much happiness in your life!

 

Adios!

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whenever I hear the words "Russian girl" and "dating" used together a BIG red flag goes up

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Before you say not a scammer look into the laws where your at for Russian wives. Here in the states the rules for them have been twisted and it is still a scam.... just a long game vs a short one.

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