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Meeting my boyfriend but parents don't know about him


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 26th February 2017, 2:28 AM   #1
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Meeting my boyfriend but parents don't know about him

I'm 19 years old but will be turning 20 in May.

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and we have been dating for almost 10 months. He's my first boyfriend and I'm not going to go into details but we are very serious about our relationship. He's living in Canada right now and I'm in the USA. He’s going back to his country this year because his visa is going to expire but before he goes back we want to meet up in the US.

It'll probably be like a 5 day trip, although I wish it could be a week but I have to find a way to ask for permission. My parents do not know that I have a boyfriend and I really don't plan on telling them for various reasons I would rather not get into. I have nothing against my parents and have a super great relationship with them but I just don't think it's the right time to mention him. I will eventually tell them because that's how serious we are but they are super nosy and still don't think I'm even independent enough to have a boyfriend. Actually my mother likes to joke around, athough I take it seriously and say she can't imagine me with a boyfriend anytime soon.

Sometimes I think about telling them now but there's countless reasons why they would not approve of it or him….

My plan is to tell my parents that my trip is for a supposedly University tour/event where all my expenses are paid for except maybe flight and extra amenities wanted. I honestly think that would work really well and convince them. Along with all the “I'll make sure to call you when I get there and keep you updated everyday on how I'm doing.”

I'm saving up money for the trip already and I feel like I have a really good chance at convincing them but the thing is I feel kind of bad lying to my parents. I'm actually a good kid. I don't go out much and don't party, I have a few friends they all know of, I work and go to college. I don't cause any problems and mostly importantly, I always tell my parents about everything. Especially my mom, I always tell her everything but this is one thing I've kept a secret and there have been times where I really want to tell her about him and how much I love him. But I can't do that just yet and especially after so recently getting questioned by my family about if and when I will get a boyfriend.

This would be the first time I actually make up such a lie. So you can see why I'm a little bit nervous but I know that if I told them the truth, they would most definitely not let me go and be with him. This isn't a choice for me. I have to see him this May or else I don't know when the next opportunity to meet him would even be. It's super expensive to fly from his home country to mine so that's why we want to meet up before he goes back.

More than anything I just need advice…

Should I go through with the plan? But also I was thinking he could possibly come visit me instead? Maybe that would be the safest route even if it's not the ideal one. I hate my city so that's why we decided on meeting up somewhere else. Also because we want our privacy.

Last edited by missrina; 26th February 2017 at 2:34 AM..
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Old 26th February 2017, 7:03 AM   #2
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Hi missrina,

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
we have been dating for almost 10 months
You have been talking to one another for 10 months. You didn't date him. Here's the definition of dating:
An engagement to go outsocially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
He's my first boyfriend
You can call him whatever, but it would be more honest to call him your crush, your love interest, your potential boyfriend. If your relationship is exclusively virtual, any label becomes just that: virtual. You're old enough to tell a virtual relationship from a real one.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
we are very serious about our relationship
It's good to know you both have serious intentions... which are exactly? Without going into too many details of course. Just a general outline at least.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
He's living in Canada right now and I'm in the USA. He’s going back to his country this year
What's his country?

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
before he goes back we want to meet up in the US.
He's already travelling to the USA anyway, so no reason for you to take a flight. That would also minimize any inconveniences (possible denied entry, delayed flight, cancelled flight, no show, etc.)

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
My parents do not know that I have a boyfriend and I really don't plan on telling them for various reasons I would rather not get into
What if anything happens to you?

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
I have nothing against my parents and have a super great relationship with them
What you wrote in your post tells me you don't have a "super great" relationship.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
I just don't think it's the right time to mention him
That's up to you. I usually didn't share much with my parents about my whereabouts, where I was going at night or with whom. Until when I started going out "alone" with someone. I guess that was added risk in their eyes. And I think they were right.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
they are super nosy and still don't think I'm even independent enough to have a boyfriend
You're not helping them see you as an adult. I think it has more to do with the fact that you don't want them to interfere with this potential relationship. It's so fragile that they could ruin it for you.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
there's countless reasons why they would not approve of it or him….
And would you be able to prove them wrong? No. Because you don't even know this guy other than talking to him from afar. This is the reality of things.
Do you have any idea of how many people see someone through a webcam and when they are face to face in person, they realize the person they were talking to is different or not what they expected? And how many of them realize they're not attracted to them? And even more, how many of them think the date/trip was awsome just to go back home facing a fading prospect lover? Yes, some of them go MIA. Right after the date/trip. Unbelievable, right? And that's PAINFUL. And AWFUL. You think that will never happen to you, and it might not, but there's still a chance it will. And you need to consider it. You need to consider a way out in case he's not the one, instead of being trapped with him for a week.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
My plan is to tell my parents that my trip is for a supposedly University tour/event where all my expenses are paid for except maybe flight and extra amenities
What if they want to come along? If you then freak out, they might smell the lie. Or they could surprise you coming there after a couple days. Just to find out you never went were you said you'd go. Or they could call the university and find out. You'd be losing their trust in you. Is that a reasonable price to pay? Do you think it's worth it?

Anyway, if things go well with him, what's the next step considering he's going back to his country?

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
I'm a little bit nervous
And you really think they won't notice?

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
but I know that if I told them the truth, they would most definitely not let me go and be with him
Why not? You're not a minor anymore, right? You can potentially do whatever you want, for better or for worse.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
This isn't a choice for me
Whenever you have alternatives, there lies a choice. When you refuse to consider any other option but one, that's your clue you already made a choice. Good or bad.

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
I have to see him this May
Why not now or next month? Why do you have to wait so long? Can't he come to your town for a weekend and you spend your Friday night or Saturday night with him?

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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
It's super expensive to fly from his home country to mine so that's why we want to meet up before he goes back
So what happens after he goes back? Are you treating this as a hit and run experience? Like a prolonged one-night stand?

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Should I go through with the plan?
No.
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Originally Posted by missrina View Post
I was thinking he could possibly come visit me instead?
Yes, in some public place. He doesn't have to know where you live.
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Old 26th February 2017, 7:20 AM   #3
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If this wasn't an LDR do you think you could have managed to keep him a secret from your parents for 10 months. I doubt it.


All sorts of alarm bells are going off in my head because you are hiding your BF & planning to sneak off to meet him. That sounds dangerous. At 19 I'm sorry but you don't have the maturity or the experience to judge a stranger over the internet to know if it's safe or dangerous to run off to God knows where to meet him. Have you though this through? Where will you stay? Do you understand that meeting implies an expectation for sex? What if you meet in person & are no longer attracted? Now what? How do you get out of this? An LDR isn't a real until you meet. Things are very different behind a device vs in real life. What if something happens on this meet -- a car accident, a mugging, etc.? How do you take care of yourself.


Come clean to your parents about his existence. Let them Skype or Facetime him & then have him come to you for this first meeting. If you can't be above board enough to do this, your relationship with him is already dysfunctional & doesn't have a foundation.
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Old 26th February 2017, 9:41 AM   #4
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I am assuming you've never met him in person?

If so, what you are planning to do is very unwise.
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Old 26th February 2017, 2:33 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by justwhoiam View Post
Hi missrina,

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

You have been talking to one another for 10 months. You didn't date him. Here's the definition of dating:
An engagement to go outsocially with another person, often out of romantic interest.

You can call him whatever, but it would be more honest to call him your crush, your love interest, your potential boyfriend. If your relationship is exclusively virtual, any label becomes just that: virtual. You're old enough to tell a virtual relationship from a real one.

It's good to know you both have serious intentions... which are exactly? Without going into too many details of course. Just a general outline at least.

What's his country?

He's already travelling to the USA anyway, so no reason for you to take a flight. That would also minimize any inconveniences (possible denied entry, delayed flight, cancelled flight, no show, etc.)

What if anything happens to you?

What you wrote in your post tells me you don't have a "super great" relationship.

That's up to you. I usually didn't share much with my parents about my whereabouts, where I was going at night or with whom. Until when I started going out "alone" with someone. I guess that was added risk in their eyes. And I think they were right.

You're not helping them see you as an adult. I think it has more to do with the fact that you don't want them to interfere with this potential relationship. It's so fragile that they could ruin it for you.

And would you be able to prove them wrong? No. Because you don't even know this guy other than talking to him from afar. This is the reality of things.
Do you have any idea of how many people see someone through a webcam and when they are face to face in person, they realize the person they were talking to is different or not what they expected? And how many of them realize they're not attracted to them? And even more, how many of them think the date/trip was awsome just to go back home facing a fading prospect lover? Yes, some of them go MIA. Right after the date/trip. Unbelievable, right? And that's PAINFUL. And AWFUL. You think that will never happen to you, and it might not, but there's still a chance it will. And you need to consider it. You need to consider a way out in case he's not the one, instead of being trapped with him for a week.

What if they want to come along? If you then freak out, they might smell the lie. Or they could surprise you coming there after a couple days. Just to find out you never went were you said you'd go. Or they could call the university and find out. You'd be losing their trust in you. Is that a reasonable price to pay? Do you think it's worth it?

Anyway, if things go well with him, what's the next step considering he's going back to his country?

And you really think they won't notice?

Why not? You're not a minor anymore, right? You can potentially do whatever you want, for better or for worse.

Whenever you have alternatives, there lies a choice. When you refuse to consider any other option but one, that's your clue you already made a choice. Good or bad.

Why not now or next month? Why do you have to wait so long? Can't he come to your town for a weekend and you spend your Friday night or Saturday night with him?

So what happens after he goes back? Are you treating this as a hit and run experience? Like a prolonged one-night stand?

No. Yes, in some public place. He doesn't have to know where you live.
First off I just want to thank you for your detailed reply. I never thought I would be asking this online but I guess my worrying got to me and I needed to find out another point of view. I really do appreciate your point of view.

I'd like to address some of your questions and add some details to the post, after all I did end up writing this in the middle of the night so I may have left some important things unsaid.

While I do believe your definition of dating is correct and I do recognize that what I have with him is a virtual relationship, I can't see him as some of those things you mentioned. He's not my crush because a crush is just an attraction to someone, it's being infatuated. I'm beyond that stage. How do I know? I know. I love him. Whether you want to argue that that simply isn't possible because I've never met him is up to you. I know a lot of people would agree with that view/opinion, but frankly (and not to sound rude), I don't need anyone to tell me who I do and don't love. I think I am fully capable of knowing that myself.

Perhaps he could be my love interest but he's not my "potential boyfriend". He is my boyfriend. We didn't do it in the traditional sense but we confessed our feelings towards one another after being friends for some time. We knew that our definition of being boyfriend and girlfriend would be a virtual one but we were fine with that because there wasn't anything else that seemed right to call each other. That simply fit for us and also when we meet we aren't going to confess again and ask each other if we want to date, once we meet we will remain boyfriend and girlfriend and I guess you could say it will become more "official" once we are together face-to-face. I think it's been official for a long time now and so has it been for him. I treat it as official because I've had a number of people ask me if I'm single and dating, people who thought they could have a chance with me but I've rejected them all because I already have a boyfriend. That's how serious I am about this. I'm not looking for anyone else.

So ok let me explain why I'm serious about this and what my intentions are.

Before meeting him, I knew I was going to be moving to said country after finishing university and obtaining my bachelor's degree, which is in 2 years time. I'm studying to become a teacher and I'll be teaching English in said country.
The reason why I'm not saying the name of the country is because it turns out to be his home country and I'd rather just keep everything about him completely anonymous. (I hope that isn't a problem)
We found each other through a language exchange app. We weren't actually trying to find our significant other on this app. Neither of us were. That's not what the app is even for...

I was actually opposed to dating because I knew with 100% certainty that I wouldn't be living in my hometown or state once I was old enough to leave. I hate my hometown and have always wanted to live somewhere else, this my parents also know and already know about my decision to teach English abroad. They will be saying goodbye to me in 2 years time (of course I'll come and visit them!). I have nothing here besides my family and one friend. I'll come visit my family every year for sure because I'll miss them incredibly. But I don't have anything or anyone that's holding me back from leaving this place. I don't have people I can truly call my friend besides one person and the ironic thing is, I met her because we met at my college and when we both found out that we would be teaching abroad in the same country, well we instantly clicked and so I'm not really saying goodbye to her. Anyways, I never found anyone who I fell in love with here and that's ok. I didn't want to because everyone who lives here typically stays here and I most definitely will not be staying here so I never saw a point dating here. I actually imagined I'd find someone abroad who I'd fall in love with and that's exactly what happened.

Because I'd be moving to a foreign country I thought it would be a good idea to learn the language so that's when I found the language exchange app and that's where I found him. He spoke the language I was trying to learn and I spoke the language (English) he was trying to learn. He ended up knowing English well enough for us to communicate together but obviously it's not his native language. It started off like that and then things progressed and let me tell you, unfortunately a bunch of people would hit on me on that app and it was very annoying since that isn't the purpose of the app. Well nothing came of any of those people. But he was different from the start... I don't want to go into this whole sappy story but basically the unexpected happened and now we've moved past the language exchange app and 10 months later we are still talking every single day, video calling at least once a week, and we plan to live together one day. This is what I mean (most of it) about it being serious. He's going back to his home country this year and hopefully I find a way to visit him there next year but if I can't, I'll be moving there in 2 years time and I plan to live with him there. So that's when we completely end the long distance because I plan (had already planned even before knowing him) to move to his country.

So no this isn't just a one night stand thing, this is a relationship I would like to have for the rest of my life and I will make it happen. He will make it happen too. We've obviously talked about all of this and I have with so much certainty that he wouldn't ever do what you mentioned about him possibly going MIA after we meet.

I do have a super great relationship with my parents... I'm not going to share why because I'd be here for ages writing about it but the main reason why I haven't told them about him, which I didn't mention in my original post is that they are opposed and have explicitly told me that they don't want me dating a man of his ethnicity. That is why I'm scared because I'd know they would automatically ask me what his ethnic background is and they'd rejected him and that would really hurt me. I don't need their acceptance because I will date and love whoever I want no matter where he comes from but deep down, I do want their approval. I want them to be happy that I found someone who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a disappoint to them. So I thought I will tell them eventually but now is not the right time. I need to mentally prepare myself for what they will say so that it can't affect me.

Maybe the best thing would be that he comes here though, and I have no doubt that he wouldn't have a problem with coming here. He wouldn't stay at my house and I wouldn't introduce to him to my parents but it could be a good way to mention him once he's here because I also don't think my parents would like the fact that I met this guy online. They are very traditional and wouldn't believe of such a thing. I can already imagine what they would say....

It's just that I didn't want for him to come here. It's a lot more expensive for him to travel all the way to my hometown. I thought if we met at a mid-point, a place halfway from where he is currently now and halfway from where I am would be the best option. Besides, my hometown sucks and there isn't anything fun to do. Also the reason why we can't meet now or next month instead of this May is because he's working and wants to leave until his visa expires and frankly I'm super busy with work and school right now but I graduate the second week of May and have vacation for a month which would be a perfect time for me.

It was honestly me who decided I wanted to travel somewhere else and then it'd be a bonus if he were there. I'm not scared of meeting him or being alone with him. I never have a break from my parents or family. It would be a nice break away from them and I'd be able to figure out for myself if he is really who I thought he was. We will be meeting for the first time in a public place at the airport where security and police are widely available if I feel uncomfortable and/or something happens. Also before I leave the airport I though it would be a good idea to get in touch with the local police, give them my personal info and tell them something like, "I'm going to meet someone who I met online for the first time, I'll be located at this hotel and I would like to give you a call to assure you everything turned out well but if you don't hear from me could you give me a call at _____ time and ask me if everything is ok?"
God forbid anything happens that they would need to come down and find me but if I do that, I'll be happy and reassured to know someone knows what is happening.
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Old 26th February 2017, 2:47 PM   #6
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I was afraid you were going to say you are hiding him from your parents because they were bigoted about it.


Still you have to be safe. At 19 I certainly didn't have the maturity to handle meeting an OL stranger & being smart about it. You have to alert to danger. Hopefully he's a great guy but what if he isn't.


Do you have another adult you are close to -- a teacher, a minister, -- somebody your parents respect who can help you bridge the ethnicity gap?
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Old 26th February 2017, 2:47 PM   #7
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If this wasn't an LDR do you think you could have managed to keep him a secret from your parents for 10 months. I doubt it.


All sorts of alarm bells are going off in my head because you are hiding your BF & planning to sneak off to meet him. That sounds dangerous. At 19 I'm sorry but you don't have the maturity or the experience to judge a stranger over the internet to know if it's safe or dangerous to run off to God knows where to meet him. Have you though this through? Where will you stay? Do you understand that meeting implies an expectation for sex? What if you meet in person & are no longer attracted? Now what? How do you get out of this? An LDR isn't a real until you meet. Things are very different behind a device vs in real life. What if something happens on this meet -- a car accident, a mugging, etc.? How do you take care of yourself.


Come clean to your parents about his existence. Let them Skype or Facetime him & then have him come to you for this first meeting. If you can't be above board enough to do this, your relationship with him is already dysfunctional & doesn't have a foundation.
Thank you for sharing your point of view. I really appreciate it. Please read my previous reply, it might clear up somethings. And no we don't have a dysfunctional relationship or bad foundation. We are very well and share everything with each other and understand each others worries and listen to each other and can empathize our feelings with one another. Our communication with one another is beyond many relationships who aren't even long distance. That's the advantage we have. We talk about everything (we have to talk about everything, it's kind of our only option sometimes) and communication is key to maintaining a healthy and trustworthy relationship. I'm also not saying we don't have disadvantages because we are long distance so we obviously do. The fact alone that we can't interact with one another outside of a screen is a huge disadvantage in itself but that will go away once we meet each other. Physicality is an expression of intimacy - not an indication of it
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Old 26th February 2017, 2:52 PM   #8
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I was afraid you were going to say you are hiding him from your parents because they were bigoted about it.


Still you have to be safe. At 19 I certainly didn't have the maturity to handle meeting an OL stranger & being smart about it. You have to alert to danger. Hopefully he's a great guy but what if he isn't.


Do you have another adult you are close to -- a teacher, a minister, -- somebody your parents respect who can help you bridge the ethnicity gap?
Oops sorry! You're very quick or I'm just really slow.... ignore me

Unfortunately my parents withhold the old values and traditions and think it's best to date within the same ethnic background. I don't blame them for it. That's just how they were raised.

Sadly I don't have anyone who could convince them otherwise. Even my siblings don't like the idea. They are all with someone of similar background so it makes it extra hard. My brother has even flat out told me that as long as I don't date someone of that nationality anyone is ok...
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Old 26th February 2017, 5:30 PM   #9
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You are not boyfriend and girlfriend. He is a stranger on the internet you've never met. You don't have any certainty that everything he says is true.

You are 19, no offense by what I'm about to say, but you are naive. Going to another country to meet him would be outright stupid.

If he has invited you to move with him, to a different country, when you are only 19, something fishy is going on. I really do hope you tell your parents, and don't go ahead with this idea.

I'm sorry if I am harsh, but in this post I can only see a child about to make the biggest mistake in her life.

The fact that you keep avoiding saying his nationality makes me think he is asking you to move to a problematic place. Where is he from?

Seriously, use your head girl.

Last edited by CupCakess; 26th February 2017 at 5:32 PM..
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Old 26th February 2017, 5:56 PM   #10
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You are not boyfriend and girlfriend. He is a stranger on the internet you've never met. You don't have any certainty that everything he says is true.

You are 19, no offense by what I'm about to say, but you are naive. Going to another country to meet him would be outright stupid.

If he has invited you to move with him, to a different country, when you are only 19, something fishy is going on. I really do hope you tell your parents, and don't go ahead with this idea.

I'm sorry if I am harsh, but in this post I can only see a child about to make the biggest mistake in her life.

The fact that you keep avoiding saying his nationality makes me think he is asking you to move to a problematic place. Where is he from?

Seriously, use your head girl.
LOL you got everything all wrong. Did you even understand anything I said?

He's not a stranger, I've met people in real life who are more of a stranger than him. He doesn't even come close to being a stranger. I'm not even going to argue with you about that because I don't need to.

I'm not traveling to another country to see him? I would just be going to another city in the USA. I clearly stated that.

When did I ever say that he has invited me to move with him? Where are you coming up with this? I still got university to finish

Problematic place? Ummm you are really just making assumptions at this point. I really don't understand why you even replied if nothing of what you have said is true.

The biggest mistake of my life? haha. Fortunately, I don't live my life with regrets

Last edited by missrina; 26th February 2017 at 5:58 PM..
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Old 27th February 2017, 11:29 AM   #11
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OP, it's not smart for any woman (at any age) to sneak off to meet some guy and not let anyone know where she is. I would say this to a teenager or a middle-aged woman.

I understand that you have been talking for months and feel close to him, but it just isn't the same as spending the same length of time together in person. Please, slow it down. Take your time to get to know him offline before making any big plans. This is especially true for a man whose background you really don't know. I too live abroad and you better believe I took extra precautions when meeting a new man for a date. You don't have the benefit of mutual friends who can vouch for him or some such thing, as he's not local.

Allow me to share a personal anecdote to highlight the importance of not rushing into a stranger's arms:

A friend of mine (from my area in my home country) told me she'd met a guy online. They'd talked for a little while and finally met in person and spent a whole weekend together. She too didn't bother to inform anyone where she was, for fear of judgment. Fortunately, the weekend off without incident. She was elated. When she was describing him, I asked what his last name was.

And my stomach dropped. Why? I happened to know him from high school, and I also know that he'd spent 6 years in prison for an armed rape (This had been proven both by DNA evidence and his own confession) He of course had revealed none of that to her, so I had the fun task of doing so. You can imagine how shocked she was, because he'd seemed so great on paper and on their first weekend-long date. He was charming, considerate, anything she could want. He'd been released from jail and back out into society. Had a job and everything. This girl had no idea he'd been prohibited from returning to our town (where the attack occurred) and that the majority of family and former friends wanted nothing to do with him.

I share this with you not to frighten you, as I know it's not a common occurrence. But I share this to remind you to be a lot more careful, and also to remind you that you don't really know this guy. You know what he's told you. He might be a truly good man, but the point is that you don't know. That's why spending time together in person - in safe surroundings - is critical.

Where are you planning on staying when you two meet? Does his visa for Canada also permit him to travel to the US? (I'm Canadian too, and worked for a while with immigrants and international students who were occasionally turned back at the border when they couldn't provide sufficient reason or documentation for their US trip)

If you go ahead with this, which I'm sensing you will, please take greater safety precautions, and research the logistics.
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Old 28th February 2017, 9:16 AM   #12
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ExpatInItaly summed up exactly what I think. Just like her, I have my share of anedoctes too.

I hope you'll think about what we both wrote here.

Last but not least, while considering moving to another country, please investigate local women's rights, mothers' rights, rights of foreign citizens, and extent/severity of crimes and punishements.
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Old 1st March 2017, 12:14 AM   #13
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I had read all what you have said so far, my heart goes out for you both and I hope you find what you have seek so far. True love on a spiritual plan of co-exist is something that doesn't come along too often. I like to see young couple like you two actually make this work. Others here mean well but they won't understand what the love you both have for each other is. I know such love and I was like you once.

Today I look for such a love with the right woman and I might have that now. it's too hard to tell but I don't have LDR no more I gone within my State instead of going the distance. You shouldn't have much trouble with this boyfriend you are in a sense boyfriend and girlfriend after 10 months plus you do video chats you both know already what you both look like. It's a shame holography tech hasn't reach our lifestyle yet but you got to do what you have to do right now. When you first meet for the first time you see each other do you know how wonderful that will be. I can imagine your delight to what you'll have with him. It will go well, but it's good your taking some precaution as well with the local police.

Your parents are set in they're ways sure if you date outside your race, they're not going to accept him. Still you have to live your life for you and not them. In the end it's your choice and your life. They had their life with you and now it's try turn to have it with the guy of your dreams.

Good luck and be careful...
coolheadal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30th September 2017, 5:36 PM   #14
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coolheadal View Post
I had read all what you have said so far, my heart goes out for you both and I hope you find what you have seek so far. True love on a spiritual plan of co-exist is something that doesn't come along too often. I like to see young couple like you two actually make this work. Others here mean well but they won't understand what the love you both have for each other is. I know such love and I was like you once.

Today I look for such a love with the right woman and I might have that now. it's too hard to tell but I don't have LDR no more I gone within my State instead of going the distance. You shouldn't have much trouble with this boyfriend you are in a sense boyfriend and girlfriend after 10 months plus you do video chats you both know already what you both look like. It's a shame holography tech hasn't reach our lifestyle yet but you got to do what you have to do right now. When you first meet for the first time you see each other do you know how wonderful that will be. I can imagine your delight to what you'll have with him. It will go well, but it's good your taking some precaution as well with the local police.

Your parents are set in they're ways sure if you date outside your race, they're not going to accept him. Still you have to live your life for you and not them. In the end it's your choice and your life. They had their life with you and now it's try turn to have it with the guy of your dreams.

Good luck and be careful...
I know this thread is now more than 7 months old but I recently thought about when I wrote here and remembered the lovely post you left. So I wanted to update you. Well I met my boyfriend in May as I had hoped. I actually went to Canada and stayed with him for 10 days. Let me tell you, my life completely changed after that. The most magical and happiest 10 days of my life. Everything went so well as I had known it would go. Also, Canada was extremely nice, friendly people, beautiful nature, and I never once felt unsafe. Loved Canada! I'm glad it was the place where we first met.

After meeting, our relationship solidified and I do not regret going. Since then, my older sister accidentally (per my fault) found out my lie about who I was meeting up with in Canada. Initially she couldn't believe it and was furious at me. She wanted to know everything about him and who he was. She was mainly sad because she had wished I had confided more in her to be able to tell her the truth. Because actually upon the day of my arrival back home, she had her suspicions but I denied them. Well I'm glad that hiccup happened because she is now supportive of me and him. I freaked out because I thought him being from a different ethnic background would be a no no but that was the least of her worries. My parents still do not know, simply because I still do not feel it the right time to tell them, especially since he can't just come fly in and introduce himself to my parents. But now that my sister knows, I feel a lot more comfortable and well everything has definitely changed since. She is going to help me go see him again which unfortunately, the next time we planned to meet was next summer so we are currently waiting a year until meeting again. So far 4 months down, 8 more months to go... Now we face new challenges and that is having patience until we are able to see each other again. Because the time difference is really huge since he left Canada and gone back to his home country. It has been hard but I know the love we have for each other will surpass any hardship.

So next year in May, I will go visit him and I will actually stay with him for 2 1/2 months. 10 days as compared to 75 days is going to be such a huge difference. I'm really excited and can't wait to spend that much time with him! I'm finishing up university so that's the only reason why we haven't closed the distance yet. I've got 2 more years to finish university but we plan to be together after then. It's turned out to be a happy online dating love story so far

Thanks for the support!
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