A Daily LDR Ritual

[BrightlyBlazing]

Hey all, so I was dating a girl long distance a while back, and things didn't work out, but while we were together I looked up some guides on how to make a long-distance relationship work and tried to put some of the ideas they suggested into practice. One of the guides I read suggested that if you weren't the kind of couple that could do nightly Facetime or Skype calls before bed (because of technology problems) and you weren't the kind of people who enjoyed long phone calls (I am but she wasn't), leaving your partner a quick, random voice message or snapchat video each day might be a nice way to maintain the 'reality' of being a couple despite the long-distance.

 

I liked the idea, so I gave it a shot. For about fiveish weeks I tried to remember to record a couple-minutes-long snapchat or voice message for my girlfriend once a day. Sometimes they were a bit longer or a bit shorter, depending on whether I was busier or less busy on a given day, and there were some technical problems (bad cellphone microphone would keep cutting out or distorting my voice) that resulted in me re-recording them a couple times before deciding one was good, and once or twice I forgot, but I liked the ritual, it made me feel like I was doing something nice for my girlfriend and I liked the idea that any time she wanted to know I was 'there' she could just open up snapchat or whatsapp and hear my voice or see my face.

 

The problem was that she didn't really seem to care. She listened to the first few voice messages, and then sporadically after that, and she sent me three or four over the course of this five week experiment (I didn't ask her to, she did them on her own.) She said she liked them, appreciated them, but increasingly she didn't listen to them, and I slowly stopped doing them. The last voice message I sent was literally me singing her a love song that she never listened to, so I quietly just stopped sending them.

 

Unsurprisingly, I suppose, she dumped me about a month and a half later. But looking back now, I wonder whether this particular LDR ritual would have been a hit with someone who was more interested in me and our relationship, or whether this was a lead balloon idea to begin with. I'd love some feedback.

[d0nnivain]

Yes, a different person would have responded more positively to your efforts. You two weren't compatible.

[justwhoiam]

I wonder whether this particular LDR ritual would have been a hit with someone who was more interested in me and our relationship, or whether this was a lead balloon idea to begin with. I'd love some feedback.

Well, I too think it's a nice thing that would thrill a girl in love, provided the content of the messages is good. So how do you know if the content is good?

My personal list of NO-NOs would be the following:

1. It doesn't have to only talk about yourself

2. It doesn't have to be excessive in any way (too long, too short, too sweet...)

3. No nasty words in it.

4. No talking about other girls and women, especially with positive remarks

5. No nagging, whining or other negative content.

6. No gossiping.