max3732 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I met a girl on a trip and we've been in touch since. A few times I've visited her in person where she lives and she visited my family's vacation place once (a couple hour drive). I invited her to come visit and she has strongly hinted that she wants me to pay for her airfare, which is quite expensive. Is it normal for the guy to pay for her airfare in a situation like this? I'd really like to see her where I live, but don't want to be taken advantage of or come across as someone she can use. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Is it because she can't pay for her own or she just thinks that you should be the one paying for her airfare because? Sounds like you need to have a talk about it. If it's the first time she's flying to you and it is indeed really expensive try a discussion on possibly going half with the price of the airfare? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Did she pay for your visits to her location? If so, then yes, you should pay for her travel costs to you. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Is it because she can't pay for her own or she just thinks that you should be the one paying for her airfare because? ^^^ Essentially this. I met a girl on a trip and we've been in touch since. Which was when? You visited her several times and she visited your family's vacation place once. But just a month ago, you were into another girl. So... what happened with this out of town girl? Is it normal for the guy to pay for her airfare in a situation like this? Dude, she's not your girlfriend. Why should you pay for her airfare? Were you intimate with her? Is she just an acquaintance? To me, paying for a trip is out of question when there's nothing going on between you too, unless your name is Trump, Hilton or something like that. In which case, paying for a trip would be like paying for her coffee and no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 ^^^ Essentially this. Which was when? You visited her several times and she visited your family's vacation place once. But just a month ago, you were into another girl. So... what happened with this out of town girl? Dude, she's not your girlfriend. Why should you pay for her airfare? Were you intimate with her? Is she just an acquaintance? To me, paying for a trip is out of question when there's nothing going on between you too, unless your name is Trump, Hilton or something like that. In which case, paying for a trip would be like paying for her coffee and no big deal. When she came to visit me before I was already out there for business and also live there part of the year, so I wasn't there just to see her. Obviously she didn't pay for my airfare. We met a couple years ago and have been in touch off and on since, but I'm absolutely horrible trying to figure out how to turn a girl from a friend into a girlfriend. The other girl that was so nice in a group I didn't care much for when it was just the 2 of us. If I pay for her airfare I would think it would send a pretty strong signal I don't just think of her as an acquaintance and would hope she thinks the same way. Why do you think she would want me to pay for her airfare? She's saying she can't afford it, but I know her relatives are pretty well off. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Simple: No. This isn't about chivalry. It's about one adult who's budget is creating a burden on another. Don't make it your problem. Trains and bus's might be more intune to her budget. Unless you are Continent's away... I 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 When she came to visit me before I was already out there for business and also live there part of the year, so I wasn't there just to see her. Obviously she didn't pay for my airfare. We met a couple years ago and have been in touch off and on since, but I'm absolutely horrible trying to figure out how to turn a girl from a friend into a girlfriend. The other girl that was so nice in a group I didn't care much for when it was just the 2 of us. If I pay for her airfare I would think it would send a pretty strong signal I don't just think of her as an acquaintance and would hope she thinks the same way. Why do you think she would want me to pay for her airfare? She's saying she can't afford it, but I know her relatives are pretty well off. So you are not an item, but you are hoping to be one? No, don't pay for her airfare. It won't make her be into you. Also, just because someone has rich parents, doesn't mean they have money themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 If I pay for her airfare I would think it would send a pretty strong signal I don't just think of her as an acquaintance and would hope she thinks the same way. Personally I think that would show a pretty strong signal that you are a sucker. Sounds like she has been stringing you along for a long time. Increasing the amount of money you spend on her isn't going to change that. Be direct and find out where you stand with her. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Personally I think that would show a pretty strong signal that you are a sucker. haha I was going to say the exact same thing. I would tell her you feel that it's only fair for you to split the cost. Make it up for her in other ways when/if she visits. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Hosting on you, flying on her 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethIII Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 You've known each other for 2 years and yet you still arent together. Says it all really. Dont pay her airfare and in fact question whether or not you want to continue trying to turn her into a gf when there are women close to how you could have had a real relationship with for the last 2 years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OutdoorGirl23 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I've been in a long distance relationship for 5-6 months now. He travels for work, and his family lives here. Every time we've gone somewhere together he's bought my ticket. I'm a nurse, so I don't make a ton of money. I realize that I'm very blessed to have someone in my life that can afford to do this. Maybe you could offer to pay for half of her ticket and then discuss future arrangements further down the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 In my opinion, If travel expenses are an issue then a long distance relationship is contraindicated. You won't be able to see each other frequently enough to keep it going. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I met a girl on a trip and we've been in touch since. A few times I've visited her in person where she lives and she visited my family's vacation place once (a couple hour drive). I invited her to come visit and she has strongly hinted that she wants me to pay for her airfare, which is quite expensive. Is it normal for the guy to pay for her airfare in a situation like this? I'd really like to see her where I live, but don't want to be taken advantage of or come across as someone she can use. My 2 cents is that this relationship won't work out unless you two move closer to each other. From her perspective, why spend a lot of money on someone she does not have deep feelings for? From your perspective, also the same: why spend a lot of money on someone you don't have very deep feelings for? Whoever ends up paying the airfare is going to end up holding some resentment. It's not just about being fair or not. This is not just money problem. This is about committing into something neither you nor her sees enough values in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
remyjacobs Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I don't think it's worth it;) Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 She should at least pay half. As others have said, this financial issue makes the LDR untenable. What does she do? BTW, just b/c her relatives are well-off that doesn't mean she has access to such resources. You've visited her. What does she do? How does she live, etc.? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 I think whatever she makes is inconsequential. I tried to put myself in her shoes. If I had no money and were interested in the guy, I would invited him over or see if he were interested in coming see me... She only mentioned travelling where he's at, for free. I might be wrong, but I don't think that was dictated by any love. Link to post Share on other sites
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