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Found out he is married "on paper"


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The last one year i am in distance relationship with my boyfriend. Around 6 months ago i just started feeling there is something wrong. I shared my feelings with him and told him that he is very distant and doesn't make time for us to talk. He said he is just too busy with work but i wasn't convinced.

 

One day i found on facebook(we are not friends on facebook) a woman who seems to be obsessed with his own company. She had many posts from the office, promoting the products etc. I just thought she must be a very loyal employee. I found her on instagram. She has just 2 photos with my boyfriend and other photos that she says how lucky she is to be married to a man who cooks for her etc. Finally when she posted a selfie i realised that she is pregnant and few weeks later baby's photos.

 

I asked him if he is married and he admitted that yes indeed he is married on paper for few years. He denied twice he had a baby until i cought him watching baby's video and he admitted he has a baby.

 

He told me that he had to get married in order to stay in europe, that this woman is his best friend and that will never change. They are very open and honest to each other but she doesn't know anything about me(!) nor why he comes every month to my country. They live together even though he always says they just "share a place" because he travels a lot and has property in 3 countries but since i met him whenever he doesn't travel for business​ he is in her country living with her, obviously. Even though we text each other everyday, he doesn't call me when he is in her country. Well those times he called me i guess he was home alone.

 

He told me that he wanted to share all these things with me from the beginning but he decided it was "too much" for me because of my personal issues. He understands that i don't want someone with baggage but asks me to be patient and see that everything will work out for us.

 

We have never discussed this face to face and whenever i try to talk he gets upset and accusing me with trust issues.

 

I cant sleep, cant relax. I thought i was seeing a single man... I am very stressed because of this. It's very hard for me to deal with this situation and don't know what to do. I feel disrespected and stupid but i am still in this relationship wasting my time. Each time i see him i promise to myself that it will be the last time but we are still together...

Gosh... Writing my story made me feel so stupid. I don't have any question... I just needed to share my story with strangers and get some opinions.

P.s. sorry for my english.

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Easy. You need to start seeing a single man, preferably local. You are likely just a girlfriend in THIS city, just like the others in THOSE cities. Don't worry about him, he'll replace you in due time. In fact, given what you've described, he's probably thinking that it's just a matter of time now.

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Boomerangmagnet

Sometimes typing it out helps.

 

He's lied to you about significant issues. Brain over heart in this situation.

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Sometimes typing it out helps.

 

He's lied to you about significant issues. Brain over heart in this situation.

Let me help:

 

Are you married?

No, that's silly.

But here's the evidence.

Yeah, ok, I'm married. But just on paper.

Do you have a baby?

No, that's silly.

But here's the evidence.

Yeah, ok, I have a baby. But just on paper.

Don't worry, I'm very open and honest with my wife, except I didn't tell her about you.

And I didn't tell you about her because I thought you probably wouldn't go out with me.

Make sense?

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He told me that he wanted to share all these things with me from the beginning but he decided it was "too much" for me because of my personal issues. He understands that i don't want someone with baggage but asks me to be patient and see that everything will work out for us.

 

Of course, he had to turn it around on you and blame you for not allowing him to be an honest person. You have a manipulative, lying, assclown on your hands. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you move on.

 

Baggage? He's married with a baby. :sick:

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You were deceived so feeling betrayed or foolish is rather normal. Send his wife a note that says "we are still dating" and send one every week. When he calls and tells you it is over, tell him we are still dating on paper.

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