Boyfriend and Chinese family breaking my heart.

[chanelaris]

I have been with my long distance boyfriend for almost half a year now. Whilst I write this incredibly upset and emotional, I love my boyfriend dearly. We have similar interests, I feel happy around him, we can spend days together and never get bored of each other as there is also a friendship. He is very, very serious about me and reminds me every day. He does generally stick to his word and executes what he says he will do, involving me and our future. I will say he is not a dense person. We are both great at communicating and both equally voice how we feel. His family is wonderful, also the extended family, they treat me like his daughter and generally have lovely comments to say about me and he loves mine, my family and his get a long great as well. I do not need to further detail however my boyfriend is very special to me and we have grown a lot over the past few months. We have had a few problems in our relationship however, from him disrespecting me by commenting about our females appearances in front of me, saying the wrong thing that causes an argument and a few "white lies" usually it is resolvable no matter how hurtful.

 

He was leaving tonight which he picked me up, took me back to his parents and we then all went to the airport. I decided that I would wear a new dress that I bought, somewhat short and a bit revealing around the chest however nothing outrageously inappropriate as I'm culturally aware from living in different cultures overseas for many years. His mother said something to him in Chinese obviously about what I was wearing and he said to me "cover your cleavage" which I was obviously very embarrassed about as it was in front of everyone and in public. I felt very small, humiliated and it was a sexist comment as he often walks around in public in a tank top, shorts and inappropriate footwear. Even though he may do something my family dislikes, never would we comment or make him feel inferior. I'm certain he has disrespected "western values" but never would my parents comment nor would they say something to me to say to him to make him feel uncomfortable. We then went upstairs in which they were talking about something which I didn't hear so I asked and my boyfriend acted a bit cheeky and wouldn't tell me, he then told me, which was about a holiday to Hong Kong. I was then irritated at that as it didn't have to take him so long to answer my simple question. My mother is currently away for a health check up which I am obviously very stressed & upset about. In addition to that and what happened tonight, I became very upset in front of him. He started to become very defensive, angry, was lying to me about the reason he told me to cover up. One lie was because he thought I was cold, if so, could have politely brought me aside and asked if I were cold and then tell me to cover up. The next was because of Chinese culture (which I find slightly odd but understandable - yet there are no dress codes where I live regarding this and the most revealing clothes I've ever seen have been worn by Chinese individuals) the argument just got worse and worse in which he was crying as well. He was running close to missing his flight, only 45 minutes to board yet he claimed I was more important than the flight. I love this man so much, I want to have a great relationship with him but he is hurting me and because his family are involved in this issue, which is a cultural clash, it is truly quite heartbreaking as family means a lot to him being the only child and I love my family. He reassured me that his mother does not judge me based on what I wear but I cannot help feel this way. My heart feels quite shattered. He is not purposely hurting me but he is. He is my best friend and someone I am in love with.