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long distance vacation fling


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

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Old 10th January 2017, 1:49 PM   #1
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long distance vacation fling

This year I met a guy while on vacation with my family at an all inclusive hotel, he was also with his family... We are both in our early 20's, both going to school/ working. The vacation that my family booked was a 8 day "all inclusive" deal. We met on the first night, but things didn't progress until the 3rd, We ended up sleeping together on the third night, and for the rest of the vacation we got closer. During the day, we would hang out with our families, but during the early evenings onwards we were basically tied to the hip. We would talk for hours, take walks, etc. etc, and the sex was also passionate and exciting.
I went into this fling really not expecting anything.. it was something to keep me away from my work and other related stress.Needless to say though, I don't think I will ever regret letting it happen. It was an absolutely wonderful experience.. I think I did end up feeling something for him though... (given that we were on vacation, and my emotional state was heightened)

we exchanged contact information, and he said he might someday visit me, but I honestly believed at that point it was just "necessary small talk" that gave no actual promise... so it wouldn't get awkward when we had to part. When the inevitable goodbye happened, I was sad, but I accepted the reality of the situation.

I was ready to let this fling go 100%, but when I got back to my city, I was so surprised when he started to text me, I was happy and obviously responded for awhile, then reality clicked in, and I realized that there was no point in doing so.

I stopped responding to his texts and snaps, and let it slowly fade away... when i didn't answer to his texts for a week, he again tried, and I would answer to him, but because i know we don't have a chance with each other, it kind of hurt, so I stopped it eventually, always initiating the conversation to an end...

During texting though, I wanted to see what he felt for me, so I purposely told him one of my boring "problems" to see if he would respond positively and actually give me comfort, or just ignore me. I have dealt with a lot of *******s in the past, so I was prepared for him to be one ( given that we only knew each other for a short while and why would he even care to give me advice) . I was pleasantly surprised when he did...
But it also bothered me that he did because, some part of me wanted him to be an ******* so I could have an excuse to let him go.

QUESTION: So anyways, recently I've been going through some ****, and I really want to just jump on the plane to visit him . I want to experience our whole fling once again and I'm really in need of it .. I just don't know how to say it to him? I want to go, he mentioned me visiting him a couple of times, but that was before we stopped texting... how do I randomly bring it up to him?
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Old 10th January 2017, 2:55 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
This year I met a guy while on vacation with my family at an all inclusive hotel, he was also with his family... We are both in our early 20's, both going to school/ working. The vacation that my family booked was a 8 day "all inclusive" deal. We met on the first night, but things didn't progress until the 3rd, We ended up sleeping together on the third night, and for the rest of the vacation we got closer. During the day, we would hang out with our families, but during the early evenings onwards we were basically tied to the hip. We would talk for hours, take walks, etc. etc, and the sex was also passionate and exciting.
I went into this fling really not expecting anything.. it was something to keep me away from my work and other related stress.Needless to say though, I don't think I will ever regret letting it happen. It was an absolutely wonderful experience.. I think I did end up feeling something for him though... (given that we were on vacation, and my emotional state was heightened)

we exchanged contact information, and he said he might someday visit me, but I honestly believed at that point it was just "necessary small talk" that gave no actual promise... so it wouldn't get awkward when we had to part. When the inevitable goodbye happened, I was sad, but I accepted the reality of the situation.

I was ready to let this fling go 100%, but when I got back to my city, I was so surprised when he started to text me, I was happy and obviously responded for awhile, then reality clicked in, and I realized that there was no point in doing so.

I stopped responding to his texts and snaps, and let it slowly fade away... when i didn't answer to his texts for a week, he again tried, and I would answer to him, but because i know we don't have a chance with each other, it kind of hurt, so I stopped it eventually, always initiating the conversation to an end...

During texting though, I wanted to see what he felt for me, so I purposely told him one of my boring "problems" to see if he would respond positively and actually give me comfort, or just ignore me. I have dealt with a lot of *******s in the past, so I was prepared for him to be one ( given that we only knew each other for a short while and why would he even care to give me advice) . I was pleasantly surprised when he did...
But it also bothered me that he did because, some part of me wanted him to be an ******* so I could have an excuse to let him go.

QUESTION: So anyways, recently I've been going through some ****, and I really want to just jump on the plane to visit him . I want to experience our whole fling once again and I'm really in need of it .. I just don't know how to say it to him? I want to go, he mentioned me visiting him a couple of times, but that was before we stopped texting... how do I randomly bring it up to him?
When was the last contact with him? If not too long ago, text him and let him know you'd like to come visit and if he asks why, be honest. Be prepared for rejection and frankly I doubt a fling is going to help you cope with whatever it is you are going through. That seems to be a poor coping mechanism.
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Old 10th January 2017, 3:02 PM   #3
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I don't wanna come off as rude, but it sounds like you're playing a game with him. You say that you stopped initiating texts with him because you knew that it wasn't going to go anywhere, and yet now you're trying to creep back into his life because you're dealing with your own personal drama that you want to escape from. If i'm being honest with you, I think you should just leave him alone. Unless you're serious about getting back into his life and rekindling that connection you feel you made, then what's the point?
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Old 10th January 2017, 3:14 PM   #4
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If you send him a text asking him to meet you some place on a vacation, he will understand the proposal and can simply accept or decline. But expecting the experiance to be as magic as the first will likely disappoint.

Last edited by Simple Logic; 10th January 2017 at 3:17 PM..
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Old 10th January 2017, 3:46 PM   #5
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Hey Ronny,
Thanks for your insight. Honestly, I 100% guarantee I don't want to play games with him. Like I said in my description, I felt something for him and I am not that kind of girl. I think he is such a great guy. I just don't think its going to work out. I do want to very much rekindle that connection, I just don't see a point. I know its not going to work out, but on the other hand, I want to give it a shot.

So the whole point of this form, essentially is asking you guys whether its worth it to follow my feelings or be realistic about the whole fling?
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Old 10th January 2017, 4:16 PM   #6
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Be realistic.
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Old 10th January 2017, 6:33 PM   #7
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1. I think that, once back home, you should have told him "I love hearing from you and I have memories with you that will stay with me forever, but I feel that we don't have a chance and I don't want to get attached to you, because what if I fall in love with a guy I don't have a chance with. I'm trying to avoid that". Instead, you were fading out without an explanation and you left him wondering and treated him poorly.

2. Now you need him, because you miss him. You miss the good time, the distraction, etc. But you need to make clear you just want to meet him to hook up for a few days, no strings attached. He will then decide if he wants to have sex with you, or just spend his time with other girls locally. I understand the possible embarassment. So how can you go about it? First of all you call him and tell him: "I found a deal on/with (name the website or airline) to (name of his city). It's in 2 weeks. What do you think? Would you have time to see me? Spend some time with me?"
And then see his reaction. If it's positive, you let him know you think you don't have a chance with each other because you live in different places, but you'd still like to live in the moment, no strings attached. And if you meet up, you could apologize with him in person for not responding to his texts, etc.
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Old 10th January 2017, 7:23 PM   #8
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1. I think that, once back home, you should have told him "I love hearing from you and I have memories with you that will stay with me forever, but I feel that we don't have a chance and I don't want to get attached to you, because what if I fall in love with a guy I don't have a chance with. I'm trying to avoid that". Instead, you were fading out without an explanation and you left him wondering and treated him poorly.

2. Now you need him, because you miss him. You miss the good time, the distraction, etc. But you need to make clear you just want to meet him to hook up for a few days, no strings attached. He will then decide if he wants to have sex with you, or just spend his time with other girls locally. I understand the possible embarassment. So how can you go about it? First of all you call him and tell him: "I found a deal on/with (name the website or airline) to (name of his city). It's in 2 weeks. What do you think? Would you have time to see me? Spend some time with me?"
And then see his reaction. If it's positive, you let him know you think you don't have a chance with each other because you live in different places, but you'd still like to live in the moment, no strings attached. And if you meet up, you could apologize with him in person for not responding to his texts, etc.

Well its not like I've been ignoring his texts. I like him too much to do that, Its just that I haven't continued to initiate conversation. Like if he sends me a text that has no question to it, or a snap that isn't something that needs to reply to, then I wont. And its not that i'm doing this because I want to, I'm doing it because, i'm afraid that I will only prolong the process of getting over him. Thanks for ur advice.
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Old 11th January 2017, 2:18 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
Well its not like I've been ignoring his texts.
Don't turn things around.

See what you said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
when he started to text me, I was happy and obviously responded for awhile, then reality clicked in, and I realized that there was no point in doing so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
I stopped responding to his texts and snaps, and let it slowly fade away
Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
i didn't answer to his texts for a week, he again tried
Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
I would answer to him, but because i know we don't have a chance with each other [...] I stopped it eventually
Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
I like him too much to do that
That's clearly BS.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
if he sends me a text that has no question to it, or a snap that isn't something that needs to reply to, then I wont. And its not that i'm doing this because I want to
Your rational side is taking over in this decision. But your emotional part took over in how to go about it: fading away with no explanation. It's kind of an internal struggle, where no side is winning.

Quote:
Originally Posted by silah2931 View Post
I'm doing it because, i'm afraid that I will only prolong the process of getting over him.
Then block him and delete his number. You shouldn't play with people or people's feelings.
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