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Why can't I get over it?


Long-Distance Relationships Coping with geographical distance can make or break a LDR. Share your experiences and questions here.

Old 2nd January 2017, 4:40 AM   #1
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Why can't I get over it?

Last year I started dating a great guy. I've always been quite selective and found it difficult to find someone that I really 'click' with but he was an exception - straight off the bat we were inseperable and I really started falling for him.
The only problem was that I had already committed to moving to the Far East for 6 months on a work contract. We both knew that from the onset, however I guess I didn't expect to like him so much in the beginning.

I'm now on month 5 of 6 and I'll be returning home in a month. For the first two months of my moving here, we were still texting every day and he would constantly remind me that it wasn't forever and that we can make plans once I get home. After that though, the communication got less and less and now I haven't heard from him since October.

I don't know if I should reach out to him when I return home or leave it be. I really don't know how to move past this as I find myself dwelling on "what could have been" quite a lot. Perhaps my feelings are just magnified because I'm in a country where there are very few English speakers and I haven't really had any opportunity to date others and take my mind off it.

Sorry, not sure what I'm looking to gain from this post, I guess I'd just appreciate some outside perspective!
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Old 2nd January 2017, 4:50 AM   #2
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There's nothing wrong with reaching out.....As long as you can cope if he's got a girlfriend or has moved on. But if he hasn't done so, then perhaps you can pick up where you left off.
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Old 2nd January 2017, 4:10 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Girly1 View Post
I haven't heard from him since October.
Can you give us any details about that? Did you write him last or was it him? Before the fadeout, how often were you keeping in touch with him exactly? Like once a week? Or what? What were the last messages about? And how would you keep in touch? Messenger, text, email, what?

After not hearing from him, didn't you think of calling him? You can make Skype calls even to phone numbers spending a few cents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girly1 View Post
I don't know if I should reach out to him when I return home or leave it be.
Well, that depends on many factors, including details I asked above and how much you care about him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girly1 View Post
I really don't know how to move past this as I find myself dwelling on "what could have been" quite a lot.
I can't understand how you let the fadeout happen if you care about him so much. I mean, I know it takes too, but I would have been worried something happened to him, so a phone call to clear up things would have been the bare minimum to make sure where I stand and if anything's up with him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girly1 View Post
Perhaps my feelings are just magnified because I'm in a country where there are very few English speakers and I haven't really had any opportunity to date others and take my mind off it.
Christmas went by, maybe you two don't celebrate Christmas. New Year's eve went by and the New Year started, that was a good opportunity to reach out to him even to wish him Happy New Year or something. I don't understand the silence, if no event at all interrupted communication. Any interaction was ceased for no apparent reason, and it takes two for that too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Girly1 View Post
Sorry, not sure what I'm looking to gain from this post, I guess I'd just appreciate some outside perspective!
I provided my personal perspective. I would want to know what happened, because at times it's just about a small misunderstanding. Maybe distance got unbearable to him, or his interest just faded... and if it were me, I'd want to know. Whatever the reason.
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