LDR bf acts strangely

[Makeupjunkiee]

My boyfriend (18) and I (16) are now together for about one and a half years. He's from Ireland and I'm from Germany and we have never met before.

Everything was actually good between us but somehow after a while he started acting really distant and it seems to me like he is not interested in me anymore. I have talked about this a lot with him and he keeps telling me that he still is into me. He never really tells me much about his life but he practically knows everything about me which I find uncomfortable because I obviously want to know that much about him too. He just tells me there is nothing to tell but at the end I'll find something out. If it's not me (mostly) who is not texting he won't come to the conclusion to actually text me. He never really asks to Skype and it's upsetting me because I really enjoy it but I stopped asking for it because I felt kind of silly, as if it was just me who wanted to call. When we started talking he still used to be in school so I guess he had a lot more time. Now he is in college and he always tells me he is busy with studying which I completely understand but somehow I feel like he wants to avoid me... He keeps forgetting about me,like he actually confessed it. He says that he doesn't like this long distance thing and all. He even forgot about my birthday. Normally it's not really important to me but this time I felt really upset because I thought maybe he would at least remember it. I feel like he is taking me for granted and I can't do anything about it. The last month wasn't that easy for our relationship because we kept breaking up and getting together because of the distance. We have talked about meeting a lot but it's not that easy because I'm sure my parents wouldn't let me visit him or letting him visit me.. And I feel like he doesn't really want to wait anymore. Every time I tell him how much I love him he says he loves me too but it's not good that I love him THAT much. What does that mean? I don't know what to think of this all and I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice for me?

[justwhoiam]

Hi Makeupjunkiee,

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

You obviously got attached to him, and I can understand that. But you can't force someone to be your boyfriend when they have never met you, never seen you in the flesh, never kissed you, never hugged you and nothing that a couple would normally do. He got attached to you too, somehow, and probably finds you attractive, but that's not enough to pursue a long-term relationship. Distance and age are a factor. And one he's not willing to oversee. You were naive to think that you just need to have feelings for someone to be a couple.

 

He's in college, let him live his life. Let him go. He likes you, but not enough to move mountains for you. Also, you admitted you don't know much about him, and that itself is not a good thing. It shows that he's not ready to commit. He's only 18! He wants to have fun, try new things, experience being with different girls. And it's his moment in life to do those things.

 

He might start missing you and reach out to you again, and understand the value you have for him over time. If that happens, he might decide to come see you. But don't keep your hopes up.

Go on with your life in the meantime. You know the holidays happen every year, but you don't stop your life out of the holiday season. You just go on and live a normal life knowing you have many holidays ahead of you. Or you'd be wasting most of your life.