Jump to content

Regret moving home


Recommended Posts

strawberryaubrey

I moved overseas to close the distance with my boyfriend, which my parents I know where never over happily about. I was young at the time and the move really matured me, I became independent, I had my own place my own responsibilities. Anyway things become tough money-wise and I believed I was homesick so I have now moved back to the UK with my parents and they are over the moon, but me in the other hand am not. I HATE IT. I feel like a child again and to state the obvious I miss my boyfriend.

 

Do I break my parents hearts AGAIN so I can seek my true happiness? or do I stay put and try and get on with life... I have no one to talk to about this. Please someone.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

If the move didn't work out the first time, it's unlikely to work out the second or third time.

 

Did you move abroad to chase a dream, or was it the result of solid reasoning?

 

 

Take care.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Standard-Fare

Are you still in a relationship with the BF, or did that end? I'm assuming the latter.

 

But if you're still together, is there the possibility of living together in that other location? It sounds like you guys didn't do that the first time.

Link to post
Share on other sites

As an adult, you should be able to live where you want regardless of 'breaking your parents' heart'. I'm not saying that it's wrong for them to feel sad that you left or are leaving, but the main goal for parents should be raising an independent adult. If their child is able to successfully fly the nest, regardless of how they feel emotionally, they should know that they did something right. You can't tether yourself to your parents and live with them all your life.

 

That being said, do you actually WANT to live in your bf's country? IMO if you had genuinely enjoyed and believed in your relationship for the long-term, you wouldn't have left your boyfriend to move back in with your parents. So it sounds to me like the relationship is pretty much dead.

 

That ALSO being said, how old are you? Do you have any plans to work on improving your financial circumstances so that you can move out of your parents' place in the near future, or are you planning to live with them indefinitely? I would highly recommend the former, regardless of what happens with your relationship.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I moved overseas to close the distance with my boyfriend, which my parents I know where never over happily about. I was young at the time and the move really matured me, I became independent, I had my own place my own responsibilities. Anyway things become tough money-wise and I believed I was homesick so I have now moved back to the UK with my parents and they are over the moon, but me in the other hand am not. I HATE IT. I feel like a child again and to state the obvious I miss my boyfriend.

 

Do I break my parents hearts AGAIN so I can seek my true happiness? or do I stay put and try and get on with life... I have no one to talk to about this. Please someone.

My parents' felt the same when I moved out of state in late 2002, with my (ex)fiance when I was 35yrs.-old. I moved back 4.5yrs. later, when the relationship ended.

 

I hate it. Even though my parents' are elderly.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You have to do what makes you happy, in the end, your parents will be happy that you are happy, even if they are not during the process.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anyway things become tough money-wise and I believed I was homesick so I have now moved back to the UK with my parents and they are over the moon, but me in the other hand am not. I HATE IT. I feel like a child again and to state the obvious I miss my boyfriend.

 

 

Are you paying rent to them while you live there? Your best bet with them is to maintain an adult/adult relationship with them as opposed to a parent/child relationship... so that you're not feeling as if you're a child all over again. Do they expect you to honor a curfew, etc.?

 

Why were you and your boyfriend unable to address your financial issues without you having to move back home? Were jobs few and far between there? Was he in a position to help you until better employment opportunities presented themselves?

 

My best advice would be to figure out whether or not you and your boyfriend have something solid enough to keep you from having to move back in with your parents when the going gets rough where he lives. If he's not in a position to help you, then you're going to have to figure out how to earn more money where he is so you can afford a place to lay your head independent of him or you need to find friends/roommates where you are now to share a flat with so that you have a level of autonomy you don't feel you're getting living with your parents.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...