Funeral etiquette

[questionplease]

I need etiquette help.

 

I am in a 5 year LDR where I live in the same city as his family. I am pretty close to them, but only see them when my SO is around.

 

His grandma, who I have met at family holidays, passed away and the visitation and funeral are this week. My SO isn't able to make it back in time, and I'm wondering what etiquette is for me. I was sent the visitation and funeral information so I plan on attending both, but I wanted to make sure this isn't over stepping. If he was in town, I would most definitely go to support him, but him not being there is making this feel more complicated. I will stop by the visitation briefly, but I'm wondering about the funeral. I am lucky that I haven't been to many funerals, but the ones I have been the family usually enters separately and sits at the front and then leaves to the burial. I think I will just go and take a seat somewhere alone, but I don't know what they would want. Again, if my SO were here I would sit with the family, but since I'm on my own I'm feeling awkward about it.

 

Any advice?

[SammySammy]

What you have decided to do is correct. Go and sit alone. If the family offers you a seat with them, take it. Don't stress it either way. The intention is to pay your respects and support your boyfriend and his family. Where you sit is a minor thing.

[jen1447]

My take fwiw -

 

Visitation - go, but not briefly. Stay for the long haul, or at least a good long while. That's what visitations are actually for (I'm assuming you're in a western country/culture) - putting in your time to support, not just ducking in and out to assuage your conscience. You might actually score points w the fam that way. (Not that that's your motivation.)

 

Funeral - go and sit separately unless they come and get you and say they want you w them. If they don't, don't be offended bc they've no doubt got other things on their minds. But do be direct and interact w them, don't 'hide.'